


fight off the light tonight and just stay with me

by MichaelKyan



Series: queer mavin [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Agender Character, Anxiety, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Demisexuality, Depression, Friendship, Gay, Genderfluid Character, Genderqueer Character, Homoromantic, Librarian Gavin, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Death, Multi, Pansexual Character, Polyamory, Teacher Michael, Trans Male Character, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-03-10 05:52:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 51,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3279176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MichaelKyan/pseuds/MichaelKyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They weren't really meant to meet for the second time, but it was difficult when Michael was starting his new job and Gavin was looking for one. This time, god, they thanked fate for the second chance.</p><p>This is the sequel to "it was a thousand to one and a million to two [time to go down in flames and i'm takin' you]"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. here they come marching down the street, like a desperation murmur of a heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> Story title - Jet Pack Blues by Fall Out Boy  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Homecoming by Green Day
> 
> This story is dedicated to Monty Oum. I miss you. Rest in peace.
> 
> To be clear, Lindsay is a genderfluid person for this story.

Michael Jones wasn't very scared anymore. 

Sure, he was the king of jitters, but today was too good to be scared. Compared this first day of college, this was nothing. 

His beat-up car rolled into its spot in the faculty parking lot, making sure to avoid the clutter of other cars. He picked up his backpack and followed some other faculty members to the front doors. 

Michael stood in front of the heavy doors and paused. He was ready to begin his next dream. He snapped a quick picture to send to Ryan, saying "holy shit!!!" 

The foyer of the school had flags from all around the world hanging above him. Hallways were to his left, right, and front, leading the way to numerous staircases. He walked the route he already memorized: down the front, up the stairs, a right, and then the fourth door on the left. 

“Chinese I and II  
Mr. Jones”

Michael took a photo of that too and sent it to Ryan. He felt blessed for having cell service in this part of the school, especially when he heard teachers complain about it during an earlier meeting. He unlocked the door and entered what felt like Chinatown. If it had to have color, it was either red or gold. A Chinese flag hung on the wall, red envelopes were scattered about, and even his Expo markers were red. He passed on yellow, though, since he could barely see it when he was writing. 

As he was looking over his class list one more time, his phone vibrated. Ryan was calling him five minutes before the buses were set to arrive.

“Haywood!”

“Dude you’re gonna kick fuckin’ ass!”

Michael smiled and agreed. “I hope I didn’t go over the top with the colors in here.”

“I will admit when I saw you bring all that stuff home that it looked excessive. But I’m sure the kids will like it. Mostly freshmen?”

“Freshies and sophomores. And any uppers that chose to take it later on.” Michael paused. “I hope they like me.”

“They’re gonna doubt you harcore in the beginning,” Ryan explained. “I mean, a Jersey kid, fluent in Mandarin, teaching to New Yorkers? That’s weird as shit.”

“Thanks for the confidence boost,” Michael teased.

“I wasn’t done, you anxious shit. Then you’re gonna earn their trust. Then, next year, they’re gonna talk to the new kids and be like ‘Hey, you have Jones! It’s weird as shit at first because he’s the whitest guy you’ll ever meet, but he’s the best teacher I ever had.’”

Michael laughed really hard, without worrying if anyone would hear him. “Thanks, Ryan. I have to go. I’m gonna run an errand before the kids get here.”

“Alright. I’ll see you tonight.”

\---

"Lindsay, we're going to be late!" 

Gavin Free bounced down the stairs, his hair already ruined from rushing around. He found a comb on a table and fixed the mess the best he could. After waiting another minute, he took the trip back upstairs. 

“Lindsay, really?”

He went back upstairs to see a young teenager curled next to a trash can, dry heaving and crying. Gavin sat down, pulling strands of hair back.

“It’s going to be okay. Take some deep breaths,” Gavin asked. Shaky, uneven breaths emerged, but then they became more steady. 

“Are you binding today?”

A nod came from the teenager.

“Do you have your buttons?” 

Another nod. One was held up immediately, showing Gavin that they preferred “they” pronouns for the time being. 

“Sorry…” 

“Now, what do you have to be sorry about?” Gavin smiled. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Gavin took Lindsay’s hand and led them downstairs and into the car, off to their first day of high school. Gavin handed them a water bottle and towel, to splash their face before arriving. 

“You should’ve been a nurse, Gav. You’re the best at making people feel better,” Lindsay said, calming down and talking again. 

“Oh now, then who would babysit the books!” Gavin joked, making sure he had all the identification he would need. Even though it was the first day of classes for grades 9 through 12, they were still accepting job offers for a new librarian. After some thinking, Gavin decided it would be a decent way to pay the bills alongside his theater degree. 

The ride to school was just long enough for Lindsay to feel in control again. He found a spot for guests to park and walked with them inside. 

“Do you know where your classes are?” Gavin asked. 

“Yeah, I looked it up online beforehand,” Lindsay answered. Kids were starting to come inside, swarming around trying to find their classes or their friends. Gavin made a motion for them to breathe, to which they did. 

“Atta kid,” Gavin praised. “I’m gonna go for my interview now. I’ll meet you outside the doors here after school, okay?”

Lindsay nodded and walked off to their first period class. Gavin watched them go, and even felt a little sad at the idea of them starting high school. 

“Didn’t they begin middle school a few days ago?” he asked himself. But he shook it off because he had a media center to find. 

Michael Jones had to make a few copies of his ice breaker worksheet and the only copier he knew of was in the media center. He straightened his tie and went on his journey across the building. He took a back staircase to avoid the piles of kids walking and talking with their friends. 

Gavin took the main route, following the signs posted all over the school. He weaved in and out of groups of kids, sometimes being mistaken for one of them. His shoes were becoming undone, and by the time he got to the library, he tripped over his own feet.

Michael turned to walk through the double doors of the library, to see what looked like a large kid scrambling to get off the floor. He was wearing a blue shirt with a pink tie sticking out from under him. Navy blue dress pants were his bottom half, and Michael assumed then he was a teacher or a potential teacher. He could’ve sworn he remembered someone saying they needed a new librarian. He stretched his arm out to help him up. 

Gavin looked up to see a hand in front of his face. Whoever was helping him was wearing a long sleeved white shirt with black jeans. His shoes looked familiar. He grinned a little and took it, pulling himself off the floor. 

Michael and Gavin locked eyes and froze in place, not being able to let go of the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to begin this Friday, but I felt moved to post today in light of Monty.
> 
> He isn't in the story yet, but he will be beginning in the next chapter. Chapter 2 will be on Friday, the 6th, and will continue in normal, Friday fashion. 
> 
> Welcome to the second part of the story. I'm very very excited to share my ideas with you, even though right now my heart is extremely heavy.


	2. seven years has gone so fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story title - Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day
> 
> *Monty's mentioned in this chapter (as he is a character in the tags) but because the news is still so new if this may upset you please proceed with caution. He is safe though for the story that I will promise.
> 
> Needles are also mentioned in this one chapter I know people can be squeamish so again proceed with caution.

“Michael Vincent Jones.”

“Gavin David Free.”

The two were beginning to get some odd stares from other students. Two grown men were holding hands in front of the media center. More so, their eyes were watering. 

“Is it really you?” Michael choked out. 

Gavin nodded his head, pulling his hand back to cover his mouth. 

“Is it really you?” Gavin squeaked. 

Michael nodded his head as well. They stared at each other for a few eternities before Gavin stepped forward and pulled Michael into a hug. He curled his arms around him and let Michael bury his head into his neck. Gavin felt a difference and pulled back.

“You got th-”

“Yes, yes,” Michael said, giggling. “Here, walk with me this way. I mean, do you have somewhere to be?” His brain was racing. It was as if any second he would wake up in bed and all of this would cease to exist.

“I’m here for an interview. Are you working here?”

“Wait, the librarian spot?” Gavin nodded. “You’re the last person to have become a goddamn librarian, what happened?”

“I mean, I’m more of a doof just for laughs. I like information. And I thought it would be fun!” Michael’s heart fluttered at seeing him happy, god when was the last time he saw him happy.

“Oh, to answer your question, yeah I’m working here. I snagged it as a bunch of language teachers quit last year. It’s my first day. Oh god! What time is it?”

“7:42?”

“Oh thank god. I still have time,” Michael breathed. 

“Oh my god, you became a teacher.”

“I became a teacher. That education degree really played out.”

“Did you graduate on time and stuff? I just finished my masters, like, a few weeks ago,” Gavin explained. 

“I took a semester off in between freshman and sophomore year. I had to get everything under control and all that.”

A bell pulled them away from their thoughts. Michael swore under his breath, just soft enough for Gavin to hear and no one else. 

“I gotta go. Uh, here,” Michael pulled out his schedule and scribbled his number on the back of it. “If you’re free after school...I mean, we can get coffee or something, catch up?”

Gavin slowly nodded and smiled. Michael shoved the paper to Gavin’s chest and quickly walked away, suddenly jittery and extremely nervous. Gavin looked at the scribbles of numbers, “his handwriting didn’t change.”

\---

“Heyo!”

Gavin pulled up in front of the school to pick up Lindsay. The two of them would head home to prep dinner and chat about the day, like they normally would. Lindsay flopped into the front seat, pushing their bag between their knees.

“How was your first day, kiddo?” Gavin asked, jumping right into the fun of high school all over again.

“It was alright. It was very hectic and confusing, though. I got lost a lot,” they admitted. 

“Oh, don’t even worry about that. You’ll know the school down pat in a week and never forget it after,” Gavin reassured. 

“My Chinese teacher is really cool. He’s my favorite so far. I mean, it’s only been a day and all but still.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah! We call him Jones Lao Shi. That’s how you say teacher in Chinese. And the last name comes first.”

Gavin couldn’t be more thrilled with Lindsay under Michael’s supervision for an hour a day. “Oh, yeah, I remember that from college.”

“That’s really all he taught us today. Along with ‘hello’. He seemed extremely scatterbrained. He kept trying to find his own schedule. But he was still really cool. His room was very bright.”

“Ah, he was probably just as nervous as you.” Gavin smirked.

“Yeah, he’s never taught before. I mean, besides what college makes you do.”

They rolled back up to their home, a cute two family home in the suburbs. One side was for Lindsay and their parents and Gavin rented the other half. He often spent his days on Lindsay’s side though, watching them and spending time with their family. They took him in and it was the least he could do.

Through the front door was a small closet for shoes and jackets, followed by a large living room and a kitchen behind it. Two bedrooms and a mediocre bathroom were tucked away in the back with a staircase leading upstairs to the other half of the home. An identical layout was above them, for Lindsay’s family. They did prefer Gavin’s half of the home; since he lived alone there was much more room for lounging.

Gavin and Lindsay went to prepare a dinner for everyone, an easy chicken dish with a variety of greens and, to celebrate high school, Lindsay’s favorite biscuit. While they were working, Lindsay shared the best part of the day.

“I made a friend.”

Gavin stopped everything and went to hug them. “I am so happy for you!” he shouted, spinning them about. They laughed a lot, hugging Gavin back. 

“It was so nerve wracking! I was sitting at lunch and this kid came up and just sat down. I didn’t really know what to do. Just as I was about to leave, they pull out this incredible sketch book of all this wacky stuff. Then they asked if they could bounce an idea off me and we’ve been chatting ever since. What’s even cooler is that they’re openly agender. I’ve never met anyone like that before!”

“Wow! What’s their name?”

“Monty. They said they didn’t mind a stereotypical masculine name. They really like the meaning of it. They like working a lot so they’re open to avoid any questions or delays. They’re very direct and I like it a lot.”

“I’m so proud of you. I’m so so happy you’re adjusting well.”

As he finished up his sentence, his phone buzzed from his back pocket. 

“Michael: hi uh do you wanna get coffee? i can pick you up if you want”

Gavin blushed and replied with “i’ll pick you up at 7 if that’s not too late. i have dinner and such. you pick the place, just give me an address :)”

\---

After the hearty meal Gavin ate with his friends, he took his car out of town to visit his old flame. He drove into a little alleyway in a not so good part of town and saw Michael sitting on the steps. 

_“oh my god it’s really him”_

Michael looked up from his phone and ripped headphones out of his ears.

_“gavin is really back and this isn’t a dream i can’t believe it”_

Gavin unlocked his car just as Michael started to stand and hoped he would bound down quickly before anything bad could cultivate.

_“look how healthy he looks, look at how much muscle is coming through his shirt and look how pink his face is and look how fluffy his hair is and look how his shirt just lifted up a little look at his tummy i can’t believe it”_

Michael picked up his pace because even though his first day of school might have been rough someone clearly was looking out for him and gave him that burst of energy and excitement.

_“gavin’s driving in america i never thought i’d see the day and the bags under his eyes are completely gone i wonder how long that took look at his little car and he’s getting that job i can’t believe it i can’t believe it”_

_“i wonder how his transition is going because his face is so angular and seriously that muscle tone and look at his little glasses are those tattoos on his arms i can’t believe it i can’t believe it”_

_“i hope his family is okay i wonder what happened i wonder where he’s living oh god that sounded so creepy but seriously it’s gavin david free in the flesh”_

_“it’s michael vincent jones in the flesh”_

Michael opened the car door and they said “hi” in unison.

\---

Michael and Gavin couldn’t exactly figure out their words so they saved them for the cafe. They found a small diner off a ramp and settled in, ordering pastries and tea. Gavin ordered for the two of them out of instinct. Michael was instantly touched by the cup of peppermint tea and a muffin that appeared before him in a matter of seconds.

“So, librarian? I still can’t fucking believe that.”

“I mean, here’s what happened. I got back to school a year and a half later, so by your junior year, and got my undergrad theater degree and whatnot. I went for the librarian science thing because, like I said, I thought it would be something fun. And I get to help a bunch of people. Took some interns at local libraries and such. I really hope I get the job.”

“Wow, didn’t go back for a while?”

Gavin shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, I had to get a job to help out my family s’more. It eventually got to the point where I could afford it again, both financially and emotionally.”

“Whatever happened with your m-”

“That August.”

Both their stomachs twisted in agony. “I am so sorry.”

“It’s alright, dear Michael. I’m now living with friends and I’m seeing you. I love life. But anyways, catch me up with you. What’s your path been?”

“Bachelors in Mandarin from our school, masters in secondary education from one closer to here, just started my first day on the job. I worked a little bookstore on campus for a while, that was exciting. Moved around a bit. Oh! And surgeries!”

“Right! I was going to ask! How’s that going?”

“I am now five consecutive years on T, 3 years post-top and about a year and a half post-bottom. I’m using gels now because needles hurt. I mean, I have all this ink now but I mean that’s a fun kind of needle. What about you?”

“I had my bottom surgeries a couple years ago in between semesters. I mean I missed a lot of first days but it was all worth it.

“How’s that apartment of yours?” Gavin asked, still curious of how he ended up there specifically. 

Michael just laughed. “It works. It’s about a 15 minute ride to the school with little traffic. It’s in an eh kind of area, but it works for us.”

Gavin perked up. “Us?”

“Oh, yeah,” Michael began, “I’m living with somebody.”

“Oh...well, shit, that’s great.”

“Yeah, he’s such a great guy. I love him a lot.” Michael was glowing from talking about his roommate. Gavin lost his appetite suddenly, and nearly turned green. His fork fell to the table with a loud, obnoxious clang.

Michael turned his head towards his friend. “You’re eyes are watering.”

“Nuh uh,” Gavin pouted.

“Yeah, they totally are. And your big ass nose is turning pink.”

“I developed allergies.”

“I’m rooming with Ryan, I’m fucking with you.”

Gavin lightly punched Michael in the arm, wiping away his eye moisture. 

“At least I know you still have feelings for me.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t need to. Actions speak louder than words, young grasshopper.”

Gavin blushed very deeply and couldn’t find any words. “I-uh, so how is Ryan? Holy shit, how is Ryan?”

“He’s doing well. Still with Jack! Except now _they’re_ in a LDR. The tables have tabled. Jack took a temp out in California but Ryan couldn’t bear to leave New York.”

“Man, that’s just incredible. It’s been so long.”

“Seven years, those two.”

Gavin’s mouth fell open a bit. “It-it’s been seven years.”

“Seven years.”

“Uh, fuck, well, what’s Ryan been up to?” Gavin’s heart was racing out of his chest. He left to go home from college seven years ago?

“Well, we don’t see each other very often, at least not right now. He’s pretty busy with his shit, but I’m seeing him this weekend for a new show he’s in.”

“Oh my god, he’s performing.”

“Yeah, do, uh, would you want to come with me? He’d get a huge kick out of seeing you and you could see him too.”

Gavin smirked at Michael’s nerves. “Yeah, absolutely. We could grab a bite before hand, if you’re okay with that. You-you’re good, right?”

“Haven’t relapsed in three years, Gav,” Michael shared, grinning from ear to ear. Gavin’s heart fluttered the same when he first kissed Michael. 

“I’m so proud of you, Michael,” Gavin whispered, getting up to hug him again. Michael stretched his arms wide and returned it, still relearning the pattern of Gavin’s body. Nothing changed except a few years of experience and brand new stories to share. 

And with this luck, they had the time again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whee! _oh god I love this story_
> 
> I'm sorry it's heavy on the dialogue I'm working on that.
> 
> I want to give a warm thank you to all the hits/kudos/comments I got in 5 short days. This week was probably the roughest of my life and I'm happy to have the RT community as backup. 
> 
> I'd like to dedicate this chapter to everyone who made me smile this week in the midst of hell. Because this chapter is so happy and I had a plethora of people that also made me happy even when I wanted to give up. This is for all the positivity that came out of something so sad. I love the RT family so much.
> 
> Comments/kudos are and always will be lovely <3
> 
> my twitter - @michael_kyan  
> my tumblr - maniacmessiah


	3. "sentimental boy" is my nom de plume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Trade Mistakes by Panic! at the Disco

Michael still couldn't believe that, if he walked to the copy machine, he would see Gavin clacking away on a keyboard. 

Most of the time, Gavin would look up and give a little wave and always a smile. The other times, he would surprise Michael at the machine, showing him a book with a silly title. Michael would make sure to have a print out to copy every morning. 

"Hey Michael?" Gavin asked one morning, maybe a week and a half into the school year. 

"What's up, my friend?"

"D'you want to stop by my place for dinner tonight? We're having barbecue and you won't believe how great my housemate makes it."

Michael ran his schedule through his head before agreeing. Gavin gave him his parking spot number. "Meet me there once you're all done for the day. I'll be taking home a kid or two so don't be freaked out."

"Oh, that's cool. I'm really excited to meet your friends!"

\---

Gavin leaned against his car with a patient Lindsay sitting in the car with Monty. The two of them were chatting away, talking about TV shows and what they planned to watch once they got to their home. Gavin couldn't believe how much they came out of their shell. Lindsay hadn't had a friend over since elementary school, according to their father. 

Michael came strolling out of the back doors, chatting with a fellow Chinese teacher and laughing. He said goodbye and skipped over to Gavin, a huge smile overtaking his face. 

"Heyo!" Michael called. 

"Hi!" 

Michael turned to get into the car before stopping a moment. He pointed at Lindsay. "Is that Lindsay?"

Gavin chuckled. "You know them?"

"Oh, 'them'? Shit, they're really quiet. I didn't know they had neutral pronouns."

"It's alright. You know now! Better late then never!"

Michael laughed and got in the car, where Lindsay and Monty fell silent. 

"Jones Lao Shi?" Lindsay whispered. 

"Hi," he said, giving a small wave. 

Lindsay's breathing went a little funny, to where Monty held their hand so they could calm down. Gavin broke their tension by telling silly stories he heard that day in the library. 

"I overheard one kid tell a story about how he named a project something stupid, like 'memegod420', obviously with the intention of no one ever seeing it. But, of course, when he pulled it up on the screen, everyone saw it. He tried so hard to get it to change, but everyone laughed instead.”

Michael chucked and tried to think which of his students would be most likely to do that. Lindsay and Monty laughed a little too, feeling a bit better in their situation.

They soon arrived to their humble abode: a two family home settled on the outskirts of the suburbs. Lindsay pulled their keys out to lead them inside. Almost instantly, the teens disappeared into Lindsay’s room, leaving Michael and Gavin alone.

“I didn’t know you lived with Lindsay,” Michael said. 

“Lindsay’s parents own the place, they’re the ones who took me in. It’s not really my story to tell, but they’re adopted.”

“Oh, okay. That explains the last name. Heh, it’s funny. Their dad has the same name as one of my old professors.”

Michael helped Gavin prepare their dinner since Lindsay was with their friend. They talked about old memories and continued catching up until Lindsay’s mom, a woman named Griffon, came home. Gavin introduced Michael to her and they started talking about careers. 

“I never really knew what I wanted to do. I worked in a company for a few years and it was great. Then, I was introduced to chainsaws and, well, now I’m very invested in that.”

By then, Griffon’s husband, a familiar man named Geoff, walked in and Michael couldn’t believe his eyes. 

“Holy shit!”

“Michael!” Geoff yelled, running over to give him a hug. 

“Your mustache has only improved after all these years!” Michael exclaimed. He was laughing so much. Everything still felt so surreal.

Not soon after, the six of them all sat down for dinner. They pulled the extra chairs from around the living room to make room. Geoff talked about his day, mentioning his new school and how he was the head of his department. Geoff told the high schoolers of one of his first encounters with Michael, not knowing a basic vocabulary term. It got both Lindsay and Monty to laugh really hard, so Michael couldn’t be too mad. 

Geoff and Michael talked most of the time, catching up and talking about their lives. Lindsay and Monty admittedly got bored, so they left as soon as they could to finish their show. Geoff let them go, where they nearly tripped over themselves to get back. 

“I love them so much,” Geoff sighed. “It feels like just yesterday we brought them home.”

“Can I hear the story?” Michael asked him.

“They were kicked out of their home for gender identity, which is genderfluid if you didn’t know yet. They were put in the system and you know those signs about adopting a teen? Lindsay was given to us, even though they weren’t a teen yet. We adopted them...three years ago? And they’ve been the best three of my entire life.” 

Michael always loved the idea of adoption, so hearing such a fantastic success story made his Friday night all the better. 

After dinner, Gavin took him to his side of the house to spend some friend time. He offered Michael a drink, to which they would find themselves sipping whiskey. 

Gavin showed him his bedroom and pulled out a box. Michael questioned it but Gavin just hushed him. He led him to a staircase in the back, hidden away from everything else. He walked up it to crawl out a window, into the night’s fresh air, holding his hand out to lead Michael out too. They were on the roof, overlooking the small neighborhood and the stars.

Gavin pulled the box in front of them, lifting up the lid. Inside were papers, photos, and small trinkets. Michael couldn’t see too well, but he could still see himself in those pictures.

“What’s all this?” asked Michael.

“Us.”

Michael took a photo from his box, seeing them sledding together so many years ago.

“Oh my god, that’s me pre-T.”

Michael picked up more and more, some of them he swears he’d never seen before. He saw the poem Gavin wrote about a rainbow, the practice duct tape roses he made, everything was flooding back at once. 

“Why’d you save all of this?” Michael questioned.

“I had no heart to get rid of it. I didn’t care about what happened to us. I just knew that I couldn’t bear to live without these little things. I don’t know. I can be really sentimental if I don’t think about it.” 

“I still have all your clothes.”

“Oh come on, no you don’t.” Gavin’s drink was getting to him just a little bit.

“No, really, I do. Ryan makes fun of me all the time for it. I didn’t have the heart either.”

The two sat in the night before Gavin apologized. “I’m sorry I never contacted you after we broke up.”

Michael shook it off. “Well, I didn’t either. I’m at fault, too. I’m sorry. I really should’ve. I can’t believe how much I really missed you.”

“Hey Michael?”

“Yeah?”

‘“Why New York?”

Michael thought a moment. “Ryan.”

“Really?” Gavin turned to face him.

“Yeah. I mean, with what I wanted to do, I could go anywhere. But Ryan?” Michael snickered. “That stubborn fuck insists on being in the city. And it’s not a bad place to be by a stretch. I’m really happy here; I’m not just surviving, I’m thriving. Especially compared since you saw me in college. It’s just a great fuckin’ place to be.

“What about you, though? What was so bad about crummy ol’ England?” Michael mocked Gavin’s accent, just like he used to. Michael noticed it was more intense, too, from him being away. Gavin thought a moment as well before answering. 

“It didn’t matter who I was with - New York City made me super content and calm. With all the chaos, it let’s me chill a minute. Plus, after my mum died, England became a bit too sad for me. I needed to shake it up. So I came back, found Geoff, and here I am.”

Michael rested his head on Gavin’s shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re back. I can’t wait to go to the city.”

“Oh, that’s right!" A burst of energy shot through his body. "Tomorrow, no?”

“That’s tomorrow, yep! Do you want to meet at the train station, maybe get breakfast first?”

Gavin shrugged his shoulders. “You could crash here if you want, not to say we still can't get breakfast. We can swing past your place to get what you need in the morning. I truly don’t mind.”

Michael downed the rest of his drink, blushed like a rose, and said yes. 

“I can’t wait for you to see Ryan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I'm so sorry it's so late I was busy all afternoon doing baking stuff and resting that this week's chapter is kinda poorly written ;-; it's cute though c:
> 
> Next week will be so cool, though!! Ryan!!!
> 
> Thanks for the hits/comments/kudos! They make me really happy, never think that they don't 
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	4. we got firecracker wishes that we can make [part 1]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Action Cat by Gerard Way
> 
> If you wanted to go to Let's Play Live and can't, I hope this cute ass chapter cheers you up. We're in this together

Michael and Gavin hopped aboard a local train destined for New York City. Each of them had a small backpack with a few changes of clothes, since Ryan offered for them to stay with him in a hotel. They would spend the day together, see Ryan’s show, and then have the next day, too. After a quick stop at a breakfast fast food joint, they made their train.

They found a two seater on the metro, facing forward, and they swung their bags overhead. 

"Do you have the tickets?"

"Yep! Front row, too. Ryan gave me two like 'bring one of your coworker friends why not'. I mean, I did exactly what he asked!"

The ride was just a half hour, passing by some beautiful foliage. While Gavin gazed out the window, Michael was a little jittery and his breath was heavy. 

“Are you okay?” Gavin asked.

Michael squirmed a little bit. “I've completely accepted what happened with Ryan and me back in college. I’m still just...nervous when I’m on trains.” 

Gavin nodded and patted his shoulder. “Just another fifteen. You’re safe.”

Michael took a deep breath and smiled. Gavin distracted him with some story about his college years, something stupid and silly but something to make Michael laugh. 

It wasn't long before Michael and Gavin emerged from the tube. They walked out to see Grand Central Station's large clock in the center of the square. Tourists and locals buzzed around, most knowing exactly where they were going. Despite both being there before, both took in the awe of the station's presence. 

"How much time before the show?" 

Michael pulled to the side so he could check the tickets. "Eight tonight. We have a _load_ of time."

"Haha, load."

"Shut the fuck up, Gavin."

Gavin squeaked as he laughed, making Michael's stomach twist with memories. Michael suggested to head down to Chinatown, to kill the day with some food and novelty items. Gavin agreed and they set out into the musky city air.

After actually checking their phones and seeing how far they were from the small city, they hopped a subway about two blocks away. They squeezed in with the rest of the Saturday commuters. Michael found a seat and Gavin stood in front of them, and they made faces at each other to pass the time. They caused some heads to turn when they laughed, but they didn't even notice. 

They walked up right in the heart of the Manhattan Chinatown. Street vendors caught their eyes, and as tempted as Gavin was to buy their merchandise, Michael politely denied them. Michael promised him that they could find something fun later as he walked to his favorite restaurant. 

"Hot pot?" Gavin read the sign of the restaurant. 

"You're given a large pot of soup and you can pick what goes in it. You cook it right there and eat at your leisure. It's really fun!"

"Why would I pay to cook my own food?"

"Because it's fun! I promise you'll have fun. Plus, it's also a buffet. All you can eat for two hours for $30. How can we _not_ go here?"

Gavin nodded in agreement and followed him inside. As Michael guessed, the place was packed and they found themselves waiting for a while. Michael took the time to explain the ins and outs of what he considered a proper hot pot meal. 

"Okay, I personally like a little bit of spice in my pot, so if you don't, we can get a pot that is split in the middle so we can have two soups. We'll be given a little checklist of food options so we can get whatever we want. I recommend meats, like beef or lamb. Except chicken, since, like, it can dry out in the pot. Not yummy. I also recommend any veggies you like, to save for the end."

"Why for the end?"

"Because leafy greens can soak up the soup and we need that to boil the rest of the foods. While we wait for the pots to boil after we get our food, we can make a sauce. If you want to, I mean. I like mixing mine up a lot. It's over there, if you can see through the crowd. Once the pots boil, we start with meats and longer things to cook. I really love getting potatoes, personally."

"What makes them so good?"

"They soak up all the sauce and gets all soft and mash-y. Super yummy. Then we eat and whatever, keep ordering food as we need it, and then we can finish off with some veg and soup. After, we can stop to split and ice cream because this gets really acidic and really salty fast."

"What's your take on starches besides noodles? Dumplings? Noodles?"

"Eh, not the best choice, but really yummy in the end. They fill you up fast, so it's not usually worth the money. But, hey, it's your call."

By the time Michael finished his tips and tricks, they were seated in the back. Michael ordered a half mild and half somewhat spicy pot, and checked off his choices for his meal. Gavin checked off a few more after Michael and before long, their waiter took the sheet. 

"Will it all fit on the table?" 

"Of course. I'll make sure of it."

And Michael really delivered. He helped the waiter arrange their table Tetris style. Gavin almost felt guilty leaving it for the few moments they got up to get some tea and their sauces. Gavin didn't even really know what he put in his, but he thought it tasted fantastic. Michael made one of his routine sauces and insisted that Gavin tried it once they were eating. 

Michael demonstrated the proper technique when putting food in the soup. Mainly, he wanted to stress not to just drop food in there and instead gently place it. Naturally, Gavin forgot a few times, but he soon got the hang of it. Michael even showed him what he called a magic egg. It was just a hard boiled egg, but Michael presented it as if he were a magician.

"How're you doing, Gav?" Michael paused to make sure his friend was holding up. They had been eating a while and wasn't sure how he was.

"I'm perfect."

"Why's that?" Michael started sipping soup.

"You're healthy, I'm healthy, we're seeing Ryan who's healthy. Everything feels right again. I wish it could last forever"

Michael felt warm, warmer than he already felt in front of a boiling pot of water. 

"I do too."

-

After making their way back uptown and dropping their belongings in the hotel Ryan promised, they changed into their best clothes and headed out to see the show. Michael blindly led Gavin through the streets of New York, having Gavin set his sights on him so their destination would be a surprise. Gavin kept his eyes down low, following Michael's shoes through the crowds. Michael stopped him at one point, having him look up to see bright lights. 

Gavin comprehended the sign and Michael watched the gears in his head turn. "I don't understand?"

"We're on Broadway. He's in a Broadway show."

Gavin's jaw dropped while Michael pulled a tie out of his pocket. Gavin studied it and remembered after a moment. 

"That's the tie."

Michael beamed as he tied the fabric. "You remembered."

The two entered the theater, being led down right to the front. They flipped through their playbook and found Ryan's name in the ensemble. Gavin asked more questions on how Ryan ever got this role, and Michael said it was pure luck. "He was in the right place at the right time."

The lights dimmed and the music began, startling the duo just a notch. The curtains opened and before long, they saw their very own James Ryan Haywood on stage. Gavin would look over from time to time to see Michael choked up; he could feel the pride bubbling off of him. He felt that same feeling, just on a lower level. Not only was he seeing Ryan for the first time in seven years, but he got to see him live his dream.

Michael clapped extra hard after songs with Ryan in them and he was the first to hop up for a standing ovation. Gavin would admit it wasn't the best show he'd ever seen, but seeing Ryan in it made it so much better. 

Post show, Michael and Gavin waited outside, where the cast would come out. Ryan would appear any second and the two of them couldn't wait to tell him what they thought.

The cast rolled out and Ryan came about, where Michael yelled his name and jumped into his arms. Ryan caught him and held him as if they'd never hug again. Ryan put Michael down, pulled him aside, and asked him what he thought. 

"YOU WERE AMAZING! And I'm not saying this as your roommate or best friend. I loved it. The story was just okay at some points but the SONGS and YOU and _oh my god!!_ " 

Ryan laughed and thanked him profusely. "You're wearing the tie!" he exclaimed, feeling more joy in his heart than at any other time. 

"How on earth could I forget!"

Ryan started to walk away with Michael, but he stopped him in his tracks. 

"Didn't you want to see who I brought with me?" Michael asked, barely able to contain his smile and his giggles. 

Ryan cocked his head and his eyes widened when he saw Gavin walk up behind Michael. Somehow his smile grew even wider. "You..."

"Hey Ryan. You were top." Gavin said. 

Ryan’s voice cracked a bit. "YOU'RE BACK!" 

Ryan nearly tackled Gavin as he ran over to him. Gavin wrapped his arms around the other's shoulders as they held each other for a second. 

"You saw my debut," Ryan whispered, starting to doubt reality.

Gavin smiled as they pulled apart. Michael, Ryan, and Gavin walked back to their hotel as a unit once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> c:
> 
> Sorry it ended up being more cuteness than actual plot progression but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I found it really cute to write
> 
> Man this winter can't go any slower. It took me 50 years to start this just because I was too cold to move. 
> 
> Oh well. Here's to next week! (more cute)
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	5. we got firecracker wishes that we can make [part 2]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Action Cat by Gerard Way
> 
> (GUESS WHO FORGOT THAT THIS WAS A PART 2 UNTIL THIS MORNING)

None of the three men could tell you what time they finally fell asleep.

They piled into the room and sat on one of the two queen sized beds. The only time they weren't apart is when Ryan showered because he was still a bit sweaty from his show. They sat so close together on the bed, tangled with each other almost, in cozy pajamas. Ryan even snuggled one of the several stuffed cows Michael had given him over the years.

Ryan told Gavin about his life in the past seven years. He graduated from their school and then went on to a masters in the same subject. From there, he snagged a spot as an understudy and worked his way up the ladder.

"It's been nothing less of magical." Ryan sighed.

"How's Jack?" Gavin asked.

"It's been incredible," Ryan swooned, "He's out in California for a friend of his who's sick. She can't work so he offered and the university out there was like 'why not you’re qualified we’ll still interview you but basically you’re in'. We Skype a lot."

"How long has he been gone?"

"About a year. He should be back in a few months. He came back to visit in the beginning of summer. Remember that, Michael?"

"Oh yeah! That was so much fun. We all went up to some casinos and even caught a concert. That was a blast holy shit!”

Gavin felt sad he missed it. "D'you win?"

"I didn't,” Ryan started, “Michael, though..."

Michael laughed and clapped his hands. "I won like a grand at a card table. It was awesome!"

"Damn, boi! What did you do with it?!"

"First, we caught that concert, then some merch, then after we bought a BUNCH of donuts because there's a donut place right there. Then we played a little more, earned the donut money back, and now I use it for, like, train fare and stuff."

"It started off so cool but then it kinda faded."

"Oh, we did catch that other show, in August. Remember, Ryan?"

"Holy fuck how could I forget? It was at the beach and all we could smell was weed!"

They took in the sweet comfort of falling back into place after so long. Eventually they fell asleep and Michael woke up with the sun, legs tangled with Gavin's and having used Ryan as a pillow. The other bed was untouched. It was way too early for his standards, yet he stayed up a little anyway taking in the fact that this was happening. He found that time moved funny but he didn’t mind too much.

They all woke up hours later with sun pouring into the room. They got dressed and ate a quick breakfast before taking the day to hang out and explore. Gavin had said he’d never had the time to visit the Central Park Zoo, so before he could finish his sentence, Ryan hailed a cab to send them uptown. They even passed a huge toy store, which caught Gavin’s attention. 

“To clarify, you have been to Central Park before, yes?”

“Yes, in awful weather. And for short periods of time, because of said weather.”

The three of them fell out of their taxi and walked in the summer sun. They bought their passes and walked around, marveling at the animals before them. They were captivated by the sea lions in the center pool and how engaged they were as they were being fed. 

They found penguins, too, inside what was called the Polar Circle. Four different kinds waddle around and they “ooh’ed” at them over and over. They filled their phones with photos and kept moving around.

All of them were caught off guard when they saw red pandas. Gavin learned against the railing, trying to be closer to the little creature. Ryan snapped pictures of Gavin alone for this one since he was cracking up. Michael tried the same thing, but then security asked them to lean back, making Ryan laugh even more. 

“I want one,” Gavin announced as they walked out.

“They would make a shitty pet,” Michael retorted.

“I still want one,” Gavin said with as much enthusiasm as the first time. Michael just smiled and shook his head. 

“What time is it? Can we stop at that toy store we passed?” Gavin asked next. 

“Are you serious?” Ryan look at him in disbelief. Gavin nodded his head and tried walking in the direction of the store. When Ryan had to turn him around, Michael urged the two to go off, since he had something important to do. Ryan and Gavin walked off, bubbly and excited while Michael ventured into the gift shop for a particular gift.

\---

“What d’you have there, Mikey?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Michael had caught up to Ryan and Gavin, where the latter was watching kids play on a large, projected piano on the floor. 

Ryan snickered before noticing Michael gazing off. He was able to snatch the bag from Michael’s hand when he wasn’t paying attention, making Michael nearly pounce him to get it back. Ryan found a stuffed red panda inside. 

“God, you two are just as cute as you were in college.”

Gavin came back over to see them scrambling to act normal. He laughed and raved about how cool the piano was. “Has that always been there?” 

“Sure has. I once slipped on it and skinned my knee. My little 4 year old heart was devastated,” Michael answered, getting on the escalator with Gavin, Ryan trailing a bit behind. 

\---

The trio ventured back near Times Square, where Ryan ended up running off to buy some ridiculous amount of candy in M&M's World. Gavin was feeling a bit tired, so he and Michael sat outside on a huge seating instead of following. They sat in silence for a long while, watching people go by. They soon began making up characters off of the people, creating back stories and getting silly super fast. They would lean on each other from laughing so hard.

When their laughter died down, Michael handed him the bag from the zoo. Gavin cocked his head and look inside. “See!! I told you it would make a great pet!” Gavin yelled, squishing Michael in a hug. He picked up his new stuffie and started petting it. “Now, they need a name.”

“It’ll come to you. You’re really great at picking names.”

Gavin blushed before blurting out something else. "Let's pick up where we left off."

Michael's ears perked up and he turned to face Gavin. "Do...do you really want to?"

"Is it a bad idea? I was worried about that. I mean, we've only just met again and we are co-workers technically now and oh god I didn't think this one through."

Michael giggled at Gavin and nodded his head. "Let's go for it. I mean, I'm a little nervous, but I like it. I missed you."

“I missed you too, Michael.”

As they basked in their new found relationship all over again, Ryan came bounding up the steps.

“Michael! I was able to print Chinese characters on the M&M’s!! I think I got these right?” He handed him a handful as he was panting. Michael studied them and saw he printed the character for “love” on them. 

“It’s perfect, Ryan. ‘Ai’, love.”

Ryan looked to Gavin with a thumbs up, and Michael realized they were planning together. “You guys suck!!” he yelled but really he was so happy that he couldn’t think of anything that could bring him down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I missed yesterday. I have been very depressed lately and unable to much of _anything_ much less write a side project. School is piling up and I'm just sorry. I hope the cuteness makes up for the delay. 
> 
> There's something about me and chapter 5. I was off with _it was a thousand to one's_ too
> 
> Some good news, though: this week I was admitted to the two colleges I applied to and one of them awarded me with a HUGE scholarship. That's the highlight of my week lmao
> 
> Thanks for the hits, kudos, and comments c: I love you all
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	6. the men all played along to marching drums and boy did they have fun behind the sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Behind the Sea by Panic! at the Disco
> 
> Italics indicate a flashback! Yay!

Gavin couldn’t believe his morning routine. 

It had been weeks since that weekend in New York City, yet it all still seemed new to him. He would wake up, get ready, collect Lindsay (and sometimes Monty, if they stayed the night), drive to get coffee for everybody, get to school, and hang out with Michael in the library before the first bell. Some days, he didn’t need the coffee, but seeing the smile across Michael’s face first thing when he handed him the cup made the detour worth it.

Gavin was right to mention that they should keep their relationship under wraps, seeing as they were both first year faculty members. That didn’t keep them from hanging out, but it did keep them from talking with other teachers about each other. 

Michael did introduce himself to a teacher, the man across the hall. He taught French and they struck up a conversation whilst trying to unlock their doors one morning.

_“Damn it,” Michael muttered under his breath. “C’mon you piece of shit…”_

_“Man, you suck at whispering,” said the man across the hall._

_“Oh, sorry,” Michael quickly turned around to face him. “It’s this damn lock! It’s so hard to get into. It takes five years to get into my room!”_

_“To keep predators out. They put these in a few years ago. Trick is to bump your hip next to the knob as your turning.” He demonstrated what he meant, opening his door with ease. Michael tried too, and sure enough, his door popped right open._

_“Want a cup of coffee?” asked the other teacher. “I have a coffee maker in here.”_

_Considering how late Michael had stayed up the night before, he accepted and walked into the other room. It was decked out with French decor, from French recipe posters to a French flag next to the American._

_“How do you take it?”_

_“Little bit of cream, thank you.” Michael said. The teacher handed him a mug that, shockingly, looked like the French flag. “I don’t think I’ve caught your name?”_

_“Mr. Dooley. But that’s for the kids. Call me Jeremy.” He stuck out his hand and the two men shook hands. “What brings you to this here high school?”_

_“I’ve always wanted to teach. Well, always as in halfway through my first year of college. I thought it would be a good way to practice the language and pass it along.”_

_Jeremy smiled and stuck his fist out for a fist bump. “Same here, man. I grew up bilingual so it’s an easy way to make some money. And the kids are fuckin’ hilarious. Oh, probably shouldn’t have sworn. Kids’ll be here soon and then they’ll consider me swearing the highlight of their high school career.”_

_Michael laughed and said he’d see him around. He would think of him every time he opened his door._

“Hey, Mr. Jones!” Jeremy called one day, weeks later. Michael was in the middle of a lesson, but paused to see what was so urgent. 

“Hey, say hey to Mr. Dooley. Use your language, confuse him!”

The class called out hello’s and what’s up’s to the other teacher, who shrugged and laughed in response. He asked to see Michael out in the hallway, to which Michael told them to work out of their textbooks.

“What’s up?”

“I completely forgot you weren’t on break, first of all. But I’m catching a movie after school on Friday with some...friends and wanted to know if you wanna come with?”

“Oh man, I totally would. I already have plans, though. I’m seeing a friend too.”

“Oh, who, if I may ask? Do I know him?”

“Gavin Free, he’s the new librarian. I can’t imagine you’ve gone this long without needing to go to the library?”

“Oh! Gavin! My friend Kdin knows him! You should totally invite him.”

“I will!”

Michael quickly texted Gavin to see if he would be up to it. He said he’d already been invited and was about to text him. They agreed to hang out with them, not only to keep themselves undercover, but because both of them were enjoying the company of other people.

-

Gavin and Michael drove to the theater, kind of confused yet still bubbling with excitement. 

“How’d you meet Kdin, again?” Michael asked.

“He’d come through the library to get to the tech office and he’d always say hello. Friendly little thing. He came in angry one day and took comfort in me, so from there, we’ve been friends. On days you have meetings after hours, we sometimes grab a bite.”

“Oh!” Michael exclaimed “He’s your after school friend! Okay, he’s cool. I’m less nervous.”

They parked and bought their tickets to pass the time. Michael then noticed Jeremy walk in while Gavin noticed Kdin. A third man trailed with them, and whispered something into both their ears.

“Yeah, yeah I know,” Jeremy whispered back, shrugging him off. “Why would I change that now? They probably wouldn’t get it anyways.”

“Hey Jeremy!” Michael called. “Good to see you.”

“Hey Michael! These are my friends, Matt and Kdin. Kdin’s in the tech lab all day and Matt works part time, also in the tech lab. “

“Hey!” they cheered in unison. 

“Gavin’s over there, getting all kinds of sweets. I know he’s met you, Kdin, but I’m unsure about Matt. He’s the new librarian.”

“Ah, yeah I remember that now!” Matt said. 

Gavin came back with his treats and offered to get back in line for the others. They said quickly that they snuck in their own stuff and they were all giggles as they walked to the theater. They sat in on the new box office hit, where none of them could understand why it was so popular. Their dinner conversation after was filled with clarification questions and trying to figure out what the hell they just watched.

“So she went to space to avoid her husband’s predator?”

“No, you fucking idiot, she left to save his ass...I...think?”

“I think it was a sacrifice. She wouldn’t see him again but he would be saved.”

“It was pointless anyway! He still killed him!”

“NO! She drank the stuff so HE wouldn’t!”

“She didn’t have to do that, though, she could’ve just slain him?”

The five men went back and forth while sharing baskets of fries and refills of soft drinks. Gavin loved seeing Michael reach for the fries and he caught the light in his eyes again. Before they knew it, it was pitch black out and they were exhausted. The caffeine they had from the sodas was useless. The five of them said good night and all went home, sleepy but already comfortable in this new, exciting friendship they shared. 

\---

It was October. The group of men were now a unit of friends who would gather in the library for their lunch. Miraculously, they all had the same lunch wave. The days that Matt were there were especially fun. Occasionally, they would gather in either Michael or Jeremy's classroom, but the library was their preferred spot. 

Michael walked in past kids flooding out the media center and saw Gavin clacking away on his computer, clearly deep in thought. He carefully came up behind him to avoid scaring him. It didn’t work. 

“Man Gavin, I thought libraries were supposed to be quiet,” Matt teased, coming out of his office with Kdin. Gavin pouted at him and saved his files.

“Are you writing something?” Michael had been looking over his shoulder. 

Gavin scrambled to close the window, but it was no use. “I, uh, yeah?”

Michael smirked and sat down at a nearby table. “What’re you writing, m’boy?”

“M’project,” Gavin mumbled back in the same tone. Jeremy walked in soon after and plopped down in between Matt and Kdin.

“What’s the haps? Op, Gavin, there’s another dick on this table.” Jeremy pointed to a crudely drawn penis on the tabletop. Gavin sighed and got up to find an eraser. 

“Gavin is writing a mystery project,” Kdin explained to Jeremy. “Michael is exceptionally curious.”

“It’s not everyday someone picks up a craft!” Michael defended. 

“I tried writing a novel once in middle school,” Jeremy piped in. “I think everybody does. I wrote about these two kids who fell in love behind the bleachers. It couldn’t have been more cliche.”

Matt scoffed. “How the fuck did you pull a novel out of that?”

“Well it was complex, Matt! There were other characters and plot twists, for your information.”

“I hate to interrupt,” Michael interjected, “Well, I really don’t. We’re losing sight of the fact that Gavin is writing something.”

“Oh, yes. Whatcha writing, buddy?” Jeremy returned to his lunch.

“It’s nothing, I swear! The library can get boring sometimes so I started clackin’ away one day. I’d rather not talk much about it until it’s close to done, okay?”

Shocked by Gavin’s suddenly private nature, Kdin went on to talk about some of the stuff he overheard in the hallway.

“I heard an exceptionally loud ‘what the fuck?’ so I went out and ask if he was looking for an answer, since he was so noisy. He was so confused, it was the highlight of my day so far.”

Everyone laughed much too loud for a library. Matt went on to talk about how he can see the types of websites the students try to access, which most of them are banned for “adult content”. “I see at least 20 attempts at porn sites a day. Who on earth is getting off in this school?”

By the time their second rounds of laughs died down, the bell rang, sending kids back into the library. They cleaned up and went back to their respective classrooms. Michael pulled Gavin aside first, since he was just going to a meeting.

“If you really want to keep your project a secret, I won’t bother you about it anymore, okay?”

Gavin smiled. “I just didn’t want to tell the guys yet. I’m practicing script writing. After seeing Ryan perform, I was inspired to do something like that. Right now, what you saw was some randoms stuff, but soon, I’m gonna try to write something. Maybe a play. I haven’t decided yet.”

“Wow! That’s so cool! If you need any help, I’m here for you.”

Michael gave Gavin’s hand a quick squeeze and went off to his meeting. Gavin stayed in his daze of how much support he’ll have, followed by the warmth of Michael’s hand, before some kid snapped him out of it to ask for a book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based the movie they saw after the story of the Mid Autumn Festival, a Chinese holiday. It was on my mind so I was like “why not”
> 
> I didn't procrastinate this week! Well, just a little bit. Most of it was written yesterday though I'm so proud of myself. 
> 
> Thanks for kudos/hits/comments! I love hearing from you <3
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	7. and there's nothing that can stop me from coming home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Primo by Linkin Park (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4yo5efoFr4)
> 
> This line works ONLY out of context of the song. The rest of the song doesn't reflect the story lmao
> 
> _but the song is so beautiful anyways so you should give it a listen_

As a late celebration to a Chinese holiday, Gavin invited both Michael and Ryan over to do some baking. Reminded of how much fun Michael and he had back in college, he wanted Ryan to share that fun, too. They would make some cut out cookies and mooncake, a thin Chinese pastry filled with a sweet filling. Ryan was responsible for cookie cutters, Michael was on mooncake detail, and Gavin had the cookie dough.

Ryan and MIchael took separate cars so they could get their stuff. Michael gave Ryan Gavin’s address and he ended up beating him there. Michael walked in to see them conversing over coffee. 

“Oh goddamn it, how’d you beat me?” Michael asked, setting his bags down.

“The cooking store has thousands of cookie cutters. I found the best ones and turned the corner. Boom! I was here.”

Michael thought about it and forgot how close they were to a main road. “No matters. I got two fillings for the mooncake!”

Michael unloaded his bags, which included flour, a sugar syrup, vegetable oil, and the fillings: lotus seed paste and red bean paste. He also brought his favorite mooncake mold, so they would look extra professional. 

"Let's do this."

They started with the mooncakes, since those were more labor intensive. Michael admittedly did most of the work since he knew what he was doing. He did get Ryan and Gavin's help with dividing out the pastes and rolling them together. 

"Why these favors?" Ryan asked. 

"They're traditional. And yummy. They have more modern flavors too, but I didn't really want to risk it today."

"Oooh! What others do they have?" Ryan was intrigued. 

"I saw a chocolate one once," Gavin chimed in. "I've seen it where the pastry is chocolate or the filling is."

"Oh yeah, I've seen that, too. I've heard ice cream ones, too. I'd love to learn how to make that."

"I'm interested in that chocolate one. I wanna try it!" Ryan said enthusiastically. 

"I mean, we have enough dough to portion one out, if Gav has any cocoa powder?"

Gavin looked through a cupboard and found a small amount of powder left. Michael rolled out a ball of dough and added just a little bit of the chocolate to it. He tried a bit of it and his eyes shot wide open. 

"Yeah, this is going to be great with red bean."

He ended up making another chocolate ball, to try with the other flavor. Gavin and Ryan made the balls while Michael pressed them into the mold. They baked while Gavin started prepping the cookie dough for their cut outs. He pulled out a small assortment of food colors for frosting, too. It wasn't as elaborate as it once was, but they were still excited to make their own colors. 

When the mooncakes came out, Michael insisted to let them sit for a while before trying them. Ryan and Gavin reluctantly agreed. Instead, they put their energy towards the cookies. Ryan kept sneaking some dough to eat while Michael scolded him. "Don't come crying to me when you get salmonella!" he'd taunt as he ate some dough himself. 

Gavin laughed and warded them off as he pulled out a rolling pin. He dusted some flour over a piece of counter and made a canvas of cookie. Ryan chucked as he got his bag of stencils. 

He pulled out letters first, G, V, I, A, M, N, C, H, E, L, R, and Y, so they could spell their names. Then followed a cow, a mustache, a set of Pacman shapes, and one that looked like a cookie with a bite taken out of it. Michael shook his head as he instantly reached for one.

They all made their names, along with Ryan making many cows, Gavin making a mustache for Geoff, and Michael cracking up every time he made a half eaten cookie.They made a bunch of Pac-men too and plenty of ghosts. They divided them among three baking sheets and put them in the oven. 

While they waited, they shared another pot of coffee. Ryan talked about how great his shows have been and how a couple people were even asking for his autograph. "I don't have a major part, but like, I guess I'm just that cute," he teased. 

“You are pretty adorable, Ryan,” Gavin teased back. Ryan flipped his growing hair dramatically, then immediately smoothed it back out. “But you also do have a bigger role than you let yourself believe.”

“Hey, I’m just happy for the small break. I _love_ it to pieces, but I’m also exhausted.” Ryan instantly went for another cup of joe as he said this. 

They resumed their cookie endeavors once they were cooled. Michael put polka dots all over his letters while Gavin and Ryan did stripes. Ryan made his cows look as accurate as possible while Michael was _still_ laughing over the half eaten cookies. 

“If you keep laughing, you’re getting icing on your face,” Ryan warned. That alone made Michael giggle, so he had a streak of white across the cheek. 

“What colors are the ghosts again?” Gavin asked. 

“Red, turquoise, yellow, pink,” Ryan rattled off. Gavin reached for those colors and got to work. Michael helped him out by mixing some yellow for the Pac-men. They worked in silence for a while, focusing all their energy into their creations. Once they were done, they dug right into them.

“Man, this cookie is so good, here, you try some,” Michael said, handing a cookie to Gavin.

“You knob. This is one of the cut outs.” Gavin laughed. He ate it nonetheless, a little overwhelmed with the amount of frosting but loved it all the same. Ryan kept admiring his small herd of cattle, not wanting to eat any of them. Michael helped him out, snatching one and freeing it by means of eating it.

“Noo! Curse you!” Ryan herded all of the rest into a tupperware container and labeled it “the hole”. Michael and Gavin snickered at his absurd love of cows. Ryan stuck his tongue out and went to the fridge, where a questionable mooncake sat. Michael insisted they wait, but since the two hours they’d been out of the oven, that was long enough for Ryan. 

Michael sliced pieces of the chocolate mooncake with red bean for the three of them and then sliced the rest for the upstairs family. Gavin and Ryan bit into it and their eyes nearly bugged out of their heads. 

“What? Is it any good?” Michael asked, suddenly nervous. 

“It’s the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth,” Ryan said, having Gavin giggle a bit but not even noticing. 

“Seriously, Michael, this is the best mooncake I’ve ever had,” Gavin answered. “And I’m not saying that because I’m your boyfriend or anything. I sincerely love it. Do we have to share with the Ramsey’s?”

Michael laughed and insisted that they did for it was the spirit of the holiday. He walked upstairs and offered the cake to Geoff, Griffon, Lindsay and even Monty was over. They all agreed that, even though they never had it before, it was amazing and that Michael should open a mooncake bakery. Michael promised to bring them a full cake later when he was on his way out.

Michael went back downstairs and helped with the clean up. By the time they were done, it was night and Ryan was getting sleepy. He headed out since Michael was planning to stay the night. He took The Hole and a mooncake to go and bid adieu. 

Michael packaged up the rest of the cookies while Gavin went into his spare bedroom. That’s where he set up his computer and it was essentially a giant closet. He had racks of clothes, both more formal and then an assortment of jeans and tee shirts. He kept some boxes there, too, but it was just things he never bothered to unpack. Once Michael put some dishes away and Gavin was done typing for the day, they rendezvoused in Gavin’s queen sized bed. Gavin had his arm around Michael with him leaning on his shirt. He played with Michael's hair absentmindedly. 

“How’s work for you?” Gavin asked.

“Random, but it’s fine. I have tests to grade tomorrow, though. Do you want to hang out while I do that?"

Gavin kissed Michael’s hair. “I’d love to.”

Michael smiled and snuggled closer to Gavin. “How’s work for you?”

“It’s cute. The kids are funny. I see why Jeremy likes his job so much. I do too. I think it’d be nicer to be at a public library, but I’m so happy at the high school.

“Except for...oh, it’s nothing.”

Michael tilted his head up. “What is it?”

“My commute.”

Michael sat up in bed and sat cross legged. “What do you mean?”

“I have to drive a whole 5 minutes out of my way in the morning. That means I get to work 5 minutes later than I usually do, meaning I lose five minutes hanging out with you.”

“Well, okay then."

Gavin shook his head dramatically. “Yeah, that extra little commute is getting taxing. I think you should just live with me, save me the time.”

Michael froze. “I, you...what?”

Gavin snickered a bit. “I would get to see you in the mornings, silly. You’re here a lot of the time anyways. Do you...think it’s too soon? I’m jumping a lot of guns.” Gavin’s face blushed to that of a red giant. He suddenly felt very small and embarrassed about how he asked. 

“Well, yeah, I would fuckin’ love to. It would be a dream. It would be just like old times. And you live closer to work. It’s just…” Michael got lost for words. 

Gavin nodded his head. “I have two bedrooms.”

Michael looked at Gavin and flung his arms around him. “Thank you. Of course. I’ll check with him tonight but I already know his answer.” 

\---

Michael and Ryan moved in with Gavin about a week later. They had to cancel their lease with their apartment first, so that set them back a few days. But when the movers finally left and they were unpacking boxes, everything fell into place. 

“How does Lindsay feel knowing one of their teacher’s lives below them?” Ryan asked.

“A little weird. But it’s also 24/7 homework help,” Gavin teased. 

Later on that day, Jeremy, Matt, and Kdin came over to do some housewarming. Michael and Gavin thought it was time to tell them, seeing as they were living together, and they couldn’t have been more thrilled. They brought a few pizzas and some garlic bread to celebrate. 

Michael was able to finally introduce Ryan to some of his work friends, to which they hit it off quickly. It was weird at first, but when they started talking about video games, it was as if everybody were long time friends. 

Ryan had to turn in early since he had a show the next day, so he went to his brand new bedroom and even did a small dance before he closed the door. Michael giggled and he and Gavin agreed they should head to bed, too. They had an extra desk in the room now, but they made the space work for them. Ryan let them keep some of their stuff in his room for the time being, since he was the only one living in it. 

“This is really cool,” Michael thought aloud, changing into his pajamas. He changed out of his shirt at a leisurely pace. Gavin was admiring his back just fine, lost in thought, before Michael turned around to find a fresh tee. He gasped, making Michael feel startled.

“What is it? Bug? Fly down? Fire?”

“I’ve seen you without a shirt one time, well, now two,” Gavin whispered. 

Michael looked down at his chest. “Oh, yeah. I really forgot. Uh, what do you think?” Michael did some ridiculous poses, flexing his muscles a bit for show. Gavin chuckled but was just astonished. He got up and leaned Michael’s head back for a kiss. He cupped Michael’s face with both hands and Michael could’ve sworn he tasted just a bit of salt. 

When they pulled back, Michael wiped a few tears from Gavin’s cheeks. “You okay? I know I’m cute, but damn boy.”

“You look so healthy. I can’t get over that. I’m so proud of you.”

Michael kissed Gavin again and crawled into bed, sans shirt. Gavin followed suit, and they fell asleep as roommates as before, both begging for nothing to ever change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, shout out to past me for writing this chapter when I wasn't feeling down last Saturday. You rock.
> 
> SO I'll start putting YouTube links with the chapters so if you wanna listen but by all means don't feel obligated.
> 
> Thanks for comments and kudos! <3 I love you!
> 
> See you next week :D
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	8. oh, i can't believe my eyes [and in my bones i feel the warmth that's coming from inside]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - What's This? from The Nightmare Before Christmas (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLvvkTbHjHI)
> 
> Because where else can I find great Halloween songs ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Ryan likes to say that he wakes from the sunlight pouring through the window shades. He loves to hear the birds rather an an alarm clock. He likes to be upset over getting out of his warm, toasty bed, but also loves wasting time away snuggled under the sheets. He likes to imagine himself stretching each limb carefully and starting a mug of coffee for his housemates once he was out of bed.

He likes to believe this. And most days, this did happen. 

Except this day.

Instead, the sunlight did pour on him along with loud, loud voices from the next room. 

"Gavin, I swear to God, I'm telling the truth!"

"There's no way you have 100,000,000 bells in Animal Crossing!"

"I've had the game since college what the fuck do you expect?!"

Followed by some squawking and giggles, Ryan grinned. He got up and put a shirt on before knocking on their door. 

"Making coffee!"

"Thanks, Rye Bread!" was called out in unison. 

Ryan moved to make the drink while the other two got ready. He heard a few more yells of teasing while the coffee maker booted itself up. Gavin came out in a bright pink striped polo and jeans while Michael wore an old video game tee shirt, shorts, and a sports jacket. 

Ryan shook his head. "It's the middle of October, Michael. Your legs already look cold!"

"I have to run and do some laundry today, unfortunately," Michael explained. "I'm gonna hang there for a bit and do some schoolwork while I wait."

"That sounds unbearably boring," Gavin said. "Wanna catch a movie after?"

"Not tired of movies yet, Gavvers? Yeah, totally, you can pick okay?"

Gavin smiled and agreed. He kissed Michael's forehead then reached to get Michael's to-go mug. Michael grabbed a few energy bars to make him last while Ryan poured the coffee. He got his laundry bag and mug and said goodbye. 

"I can't believe it," Gavin whispered once the door clicked shut. 

"You say that everyday, Gavin," Ryan pointed out, not looking up from his phone. 

"I don't care. It's fate. It has to be."

"Orrrrrrr maybe some weird coincidence?"

"Humor me, Ryan. How else would we have come back to New York? To be in the same school?"

Ryan shrugged and sipped his drink. "Maybe you knew he'd be teaching so you went for being a librarian."

Gavin blushed a deep red. "You can't prove that!"

Ryan smirked. "I can't, but your face can." Gavin shrunk in place. 

Ryan noticed the body language and knew to lighten the conversation. "Hey, I'm teasing you. I don't care what career you have. I'm just saying that, maybe, a part of you deep deep down thought that. I believe you when you say that you love information and all that jazz. But I know you love Michael more and came back to find him."

Ryan patted him on the back and left to be city bound for his day of shows. Gavin was left dumbstruck in his kitchen. He shook his head while he reached for a random cereal box. 

On the other side of the back door, two young teenagers whispered back and forth. 

"You ask him!"

"No, you ask him!"

"I don't want him to say no!"

"You know him better than I do!"

"What if Jones Lao Shi is there? Do you know how weird it is to live with one of your teachers below you?"

"Yes, because I think you forgot I'm in his period 5 class! And I essentially live here now."

"Right. Okay, Rock Paper Scissors?"

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

"Fuck! Fine."

A soft knock followed and Gavin turned to the noise. He went over to see Monty standing there and he could feel Lindsay's presence hidden on the stairwell. 

"Uh, hey Mr. Free. Lindsay and I were wondering...since their parents aren't home...if you could take us to the movies today? If you can't, it's no big deal."

"Hey Monty! No need for the formalities here. Mr. Free is my father." Gavin knew they wouldn't laugh but still paused anyway. "Actually, Michael and I are heading there later anyways. If you two wouldn't mind waiting a couple hours, it would be our pleasure!"

"Cool. Thanks so much." Monty turned to go back upstairs and Gavin could hear Lindsay high five them. Gavin texted Michael of their plans and he said it was fine with him. 

"Did they say what movie they wanted to see?" Michael asked. 

"No but seeing as they had no urgency probably one of the newer ones with lots of times," Gavin answered. 

"Awesome. I should be done here within 2 hours. I'll text u on my way home xox"

Gavin sent a kiss emoji and went back to his breakfast. He lounged around and listened to some TV whilst typing away on his project. He made some serious headway before Michael came back with two fresh bags of clothes. 

"Man, you wouldn't believe how crowded it was today!" he exclaimed, putting his backpack down on the coffee table. 

"Really? You weren't gone for very long."

"Look at the time, dumbass."

Gavin noticed it had been three hours since he had left. "Oops. Sorry, I was seriously focusing on this."

"Ooh, your project?" Gavin nodded. "Can I see it yet?"

"Not yet. Sorry, love. I'm not confident with it quite yet. It's like...honey. All good and cozy in the container but when it's not it just fuckin spreads everywhere."

Michael took his laundry back to their room. "Weird ass analogy, but alright. Ready to get going soon?"

"Absolutely. Just let me shoot Lindsay a text."

Within 10 minutes, the four of them were off to their local movie theater. Lindsay and Monty kept their conversation hushed, not to keep information, but the idea of two teachers in the car (and around in general) was something they were still adjusting to. 

"So, what movie do you two want to see?" Michael asked, trying to break the tension. 

"We're interested in...shit, what was it called?" Lindsay turned to Monty. 

"Shit, I forgot too. I'll know it when I see it," Monty answered. "It came out last week. Supposedly good."

"That's cool. Do you have enough money?" Gavin followed. 

"I think we do. Linds?"

"I have enough for a ticket. It's all good."

"Are you sure?" Gavin asked. "If you want a little snack I can give you a bit."

"Oh no, that's okay Gav," Lindsay insisted. As if on queue, their stomach lightly growled. 

Gavin turned to Michael and eyed at his wallet. Michael pulled out a 10 dollar bill and handed it to Lindsay. They accepted it haphazardly, mouthing a "thank you".

They turned into the parking lot of the theater and made their way inside. It turns out the pairs were seeing different movies. They all got their tickets and made their way to the snack counter. 

"What would you like, m'boy?" Michael asked, taking Gavin's hand in his. "Tired of popcorn and M&M's yet?"

"Juuuuust about. Want to add another one, change it up?"

"You're feeling good today, aren't you? What should we add?"

As they were deciding, debating over fruit flavors or more chocolate, a young woman tapped Gavin on the shoulder.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt your thoughts, I just wanted to say that your family is so beautiful," she said, gesturing towards the two teenagers in front of them. "How old are they?"

"Uh, both of them are about 14," Michael answered. 

"How wonderful. I'm so happy for the two of you. Best of wishes for your little family." She shook both their hands and walked away without a trace. 

"That was..." Michael started. 

"Nice." Gavin finished. Michael smiled and pointed to a box of Dots. 

"What was that about?" Lindsay whispered to Monty. 

"I think she thought we're their kids?" Monty replied. 

"That's...weird to think about. Being the teacher's kid."

"It really is."

Michael and Gavin were suddenly very childish, sneaking glances at each other and blushing. 

\---

Two weeks later was, according to Michael and Gavin, the best day of the year. Halloween. 

Their home looks similar to as their dorm did so many years ago. Orange and black serenades laced around the living room, kitchen and bathrooms. Faux spiders and spooky decor was plastered all over the walls. They even replaced the lightbulbs in their home with orange colored ones so a more autumn ambiance. The only room that wasn't as decked out as the rest was Ryan's, and even he replaced his bulbs. He did put a little bit of ribbon around his stuffed cows to be festive. 

When Halloween night came around, Michael came out dressed as a vampire. He had gone out the night before to pick up some candy to hand out to trick or treaters. Ryan dressed as a cow zombie and Gavin dressed as, his classic, a giant penis. 

"I'm impressed you've kept that costume all this time," Ryan pointed out. 

"Hey, when you have something good, you save it forever," Gavin answered. 

"Oh, so what am I?" Michael teased from across the room. Gavin felt ashamed but tried to play it off with a middle finger. Michael laughed and came over to give him a kiss. "I'm teasing, love."

Gavin kissed back and took the bowl from his hands. "Nice selection."

"I got a matching bag for us, for later," Michael explained. 

"Sweet!"

Ryan departed for the city and promised to be home to watch a Halloween show with them. The sun was just setting as he left so Michael and Gavin switched their porch light on to welcome kids. Gavin switched into a bed sheet ghost for when they had trick or treaters as to not emotionally scar them. Michael made fun because his nose would protrude so far, it made a noticeable gap through the sheet. 

They sat outside, welcoming young kids who were out early. Michael would coo over their costumes while Gavin dropped candy into the bags. Michael especially liked a young girl dressed as a princess. 

"What made her so special?" Gavin asked. 

"I did the same thing at that age." Michael laughed. 

It wasn't before long that the sun had set and teenagers were out and about. They were nearing the end of the bowl, but they predicted they still had enough. Lindsay and Monty came down to go out, dressed as a duo from their favorite show. 

"Sick costumes!" Gavin exclaimed, giving them more candy than the rest. 

"Thanks, man," Monty replied. The two were off and both Michael and Gavin felt a twinge in their tummies. 

Not even a half hour later, their bowl was empty and they could see more people coming down the road. 

"Should we call it a night?" Gavin wondered, staring into the bowl as if more treats would suddenly appear. 

"I mean, we do have more candy," Michael pointed out. "For the kids?"

Gavin pouted but agreed. "For the kids."

Michael ran inside to get the extra candy. They started giving more treats to their favorite costumes. From this technique, every costume became their new favorite and they were soon officially candy-less. Michael and Gavin packed it in and switched off the light. 

They switched into their Halloween pajamas. Michael had black and orange pants while Gavin, miraculously, found an adult sized onesie with little bats all over them. They snuggled under a blanket and flipped the TV on to wait for Ryan. 

When Ryan finally came in, he saw that their show had finished and the duo were asleep. They were resting on one another under the mound of blankets. Ryan giggled and set his bag down. A few bags of various candies spilled out, a small surprise from his crew. When Ryan noticed two empty bags of candy in the trash, his smile grew from ear to ear. He filled the bucket they used with his own stash and curled into bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I got Animal Crossing: New Leaf yesterday which explains why this chapter is so goddamn late
> 
> I won't procrastinate anymore I swear (we all know this is a lie but LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLETS PRETEND
> 
> Thanks for many many hits, kudos, and comments! It's been a semi-rough week so I really appreciate it <3
> 
> See you next Friday! :*
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	9. open the past and present and the future too [it's all i've got and i'm giving it to you]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Scattered by Green Day (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtuYhxRHcoM)

As small flurries of snow fluttered by their windows, Michael tried one more time to explain it to him. 

“You take sweet potatoes. You mash ‘em up. You put marshmallows on top. You let them get toasty. You eat it.”

“But see,” Gavin still didn’t want to believe it, “That is a sugar bomb. There’s nothing else in it?”

“I mean, besides butter and brown sugar?”

“God! I feel cavities in my teeth thinking about it! Sugar bomb…”

A delicious, delicious, sugar bomb,” Michael said as he poured a bag of marshmallows onto the dish. It was Thanksgiving and they were due upstairs for a Thanksgiving lunch with the Ramseys. After their first meal, they would take the same trip as before, down to New Jersey to see Michael’s family. They’d bring Ryan and spend the weekend full of family and food. 

Around noon, they made their way upstairs to see Geoff putting a small turkey in the oven. “Hey, guys! Come on in,” Geoff called, “You’re just in time to sit around for a half hour.”

Michael set his dish down next to the oven so it could go in just before dinner was served. Gavin and he enjoyed some random assortments of soda that were available. Michael was dared to mix all of them together and chug it for about $20, easy money to the Jones. After mixing Coke, Sprite, root beer, and raspberry seltzer water, Michael gagged but felt great when he felt the money in his hand. Griffon doubled it if he did it again and added a shot of cranberry vodka, and when Michael gagged again, the money felt even better.

Lindsay came out, pouting a little for not being able to spend time with Monty. They would be able to the next day but Monty was spending time with their family and was thus busy. They were upset yet excited over Michael’s dish. 

Geoff pulled out the spare chairs and they dined around the turkey, some cranberries, Michael’s potatoes and some greens. The conversations were limited until Gavin asked Lindsay a question. 

“If I can ask, what do you and Monty do together?”

“We’re working on a show together,” answered Lindsay, “I’m gonna be one of the main characters.”

“Really?” Geoff asked, “That’s pretty cool. I did a bit of voice acting back in the day.”

“I know, Geoff,” Lindsay sighed, “You never shut up about it.”

Griffon laughed while Geoff pretended to be wounded. Michael joined once he eventually remembered the dumb webseries Geoff did back in the day. When Gavin voiced he had no idea what was going on, Michael promised to show him once they were in New Jersey. Griffon went on to share her plans with her trusted chainsaw. Everyone could see her work around the room - from the windows to the walls. Geoff’s eyes glimmered as she spoke, every word she said filled him with pride. 

After they had finished eating, Michael helped Geoff wash up while Gavin and Griffon package up the leftovers. 

“So, like,” Michael began to ask, putting dishes into the dishwasher as Geoff rinsed them off. “Was it...difficult to adopt Lindsay?”

“I mean, it wasn’t a walk in the park,” Geoff answered. “It took a while, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. Even though they’re moody sometimes, I can’t imagine having life any other way now.”

“So, Griffon,” Gavin asked, now sitting on Griffon’s sofa, “What was it like adopting Lindsay?"

"It was a ton of work, but holy fuck was it fantastic," she answered. "I love coming home to them, even if some teenager-esque things are settling in. But I love Lindsay for all that they are. I wouldn't change a thing about them."

Gavin nodded and declared that they should get going, since the snow was just beginning to accumulate. Michael thanks Geoff for their small chat and Gavin did the same to Griffon. They headed out, making a pit stop at one of Ryan's theater mate's homes. Ryan came bouncing out, already looking ready for a second meal. He put a playlist on and they rode home.

-

After dropping Ryan off and promising to get him the next morning, Michael and Gavin found their way through the familiar neighborhood. Michael’s father had cleared room in their garage for them, so they just had to drive right through.

“Snow’s getting intense already!” he called out, ushering Michael and Gavin through the basement. A stairwell lead to the upstairs, where they could smell a grand meal awaiting them. Michael’s mother was the first to greet them, thrilled to see Gavin again. “You’ve forever been my favorite guest!” she cooed. 

Michael’s brothers were there too, now with wives and even some toddlers. They were just walking around, meeting their Uncle Mikey and Uncle Gavvy. They were giggling like crazy at Gavin's accent, mocking him in the most innocent way. Michael did the same, making the kids explode with laughs. Michael's brother's and sisters-in-law were thrilled for the break and noted to themselves how great they were with children.

Dinnertime finally rolled around, where Gavin made another fuss over sweet potatoes with marshmallows. Michael nudged him in the side and made him try just a bite, since he didn't back home. Gavin did, to which he developed some cavities after from eating nearly the entire pan. Everyone held their own conversations, and when Michael's brothers slid their hands up their wive's skirts a bit as a tease, Michael slid his hand into Gavin's. Not only did it respect his boundary, he didn't have to feel left out of the soft giggles from the women of the group.

Later on that night, Michael and Gavin went up to his room to chill. Gavin gave him a righteous kiss for making him feel comfortable during the meal. Just as Michael was about to speak, Michael's mother appeared in the doorway, holding something. She handed him a photo. Michael snickered and took it from her, showing it to Gavin. "Did you see this one last time?"

Gavin laughed and squeaked, meaning that he hadn't. Michael was head to toe in mud on a bright, sunny day as a child. Michael's mother slid a box across the floor, happy to see both her son and her son's boyfriend smiling. Michael dug through and found his old favorites. Gavin pointed out the ones he remembered. They were all grins before Gavin saw it.

"Oh," Gavin breathed in, suddenly a little embarrassed. Michael looked at him, "Are you okay?"

"Uh," Gavin pointed to the photo. Michael looked closer and saw it - his birth name. He was holding a certificate for some elementary school award and it was printed right on there. 

"Oh," Michael felt defeated. His shoulders slumped and his heart felt anxious. A few tears welled up in his eyes. "I-"

"I can forget it," Gavin insisted. "I mean-"

"No, I mean, it hasn't been my name in years but, like, I forgot it? You know? You get so accustomed to the now that...wow, my old name…fuck.”

They fell into an uncomfortable silence, unsure how to move on with this new information. Michael felt distraught with himself for not being more careful with the photos. Gavin did the only thing he knew would work. He whispered a name under his breath, barely audible. Michael's ears perked up and he looked at Gavin. 

"Yours?"

Gavin nodded his head. Michael erupted into laughter. "And I thought Gavin was a weird name! What kind of name is that?"

"Hell, ask my father," Gavin said, "He's the one who named me."

Michael scoffed. "Yeah, just walked up like 'hey, we haven't met yet but why on earth did you name your kid that?!'"

"Or you could just call him, you idiot."

"Oh, yeah. There's that too."

"Although," Gavin thought, "You two meeting would be neat." 

Michael nodded in agreement, already sifting through the photos again. Gavin checked a few things on his phone and texted a couple people. Just as Michael pulled out another photo of him and his cat, Gavin spoke. 

"We don't have Christmas plans, right?"

"Not to my knowledge. Why?"

"Come to England with me. I was thinking of going back and you could meet my family. Even my sister is going to be in town."

Michael's smile grew ten-fold but then a bit of a confusing took over. "You have a sister?"

"Yeah, she's pretty quiet. Please come with me, I really want you to meet everyone."

"Of course!"

Michael didn't hesitate this time. He felt Gavin's lips press to his and a warm arm around his hips. They brought the box of pictures with them to the bed and snuggled underneath for the snow was really picking up outside, locking them in for the entirety of the weekend. Between Michael's favorite blanket and Gavin's chest as a pillow, Michael was out like a light. Gavin nestled in more, protecting him from any harm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh ugh ugh I'm sorry this is shit oh my god this was such a long week omg
> 
> Go read my other story _you're the only place that feels like home_ to find some more quality writing. ugh.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who made me smile this week <3
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	10. let the walls come down let the engines roar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back by My Chemical Romance (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZTsKBB3GlY)
> 
> So welcome to the longest chapter thanks to Camp NaNoWriMo. The first chapter I write whenever I do this is always really long. Sigh.
> 
> Potential discomfort (read: trigger warning) from talk about eating disorders
> 
> And also welcome to a small amount of angst that's not in the tags. That's my bad.

"Hey, Michael?"

Jeremy popped his head into Michael's classroom to see him slumped over his desk. He was scribbling marks with a red pen and silently cursing under his breath. "fuck. fuck. you're so stupid. fuck. this is first day of school shit. fuck." The classroom was abandoned, everyone else free from the day.

"You okay, bud?"

Michael picked his head up just to slump into his hand again. "I'm so tired. My sleep isn't that great these days. I don't know. This is a very stressful job."

"Welcome to hell!" Jeremy laughed. 

Michael smiled back and stretched his arms. "I'm so ready for the weekend,” Michael said dreamily. “And vacation, for that matter."

"What're you doing for the break?"

Michael smiled even more. "I'm going to England with Gavin to meet his family. We're gonna spend a few days in London, too. I've always been curious to visit."

"Wow! That's fuckin' awesome!" Jeremy beamed. "So, you two are pretty close, no?"

"Yeah, he's the best. I'm just...so lucky to have him, really."

"Are you two...?" Jeremy started, making crude hand gestures of a hole and stick.

"Oh, god, no! No, uh, well I don't swing that way, honestly. He doesn't either. He's ace and I'm demi, if you know what that means...?"

"Oh! No shit! I totally understand you, man. So are we talkin' best friends, queerplatonic, more than that?"

Michael furiously blushed. "Romantic. We got together a few months ago after a...hiatus, of sorts. It's complicated; I'd honestly have to sit down with you to explain everything."

"Whoa, I had an idea but no idea the intensity. I'm really happy for you two! You guys really compliment each other."

"What about you, though?” Michael was tired of the spotlight. "What's your plan for break?"

“Actually,” Jeremy took a deep breath, “I’m going to my ...boyfriends’ place. We’re going to hang out and chill, away from family and stuff.”

“Now this is a day of discovery!” Michael exclaimed. “Who’s your main squeeze?”

Jeremy squirmed a little bit, suddenly fidgety. This is why he came over in the first place, to come clean, but the butterflies ate him from the inside out. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to regulate his breathing. 

“Uh, well,” Jeremy stuttered out his next worlds, as if they would be his last. "Matt and Kdin."

"Oh!" Michael's perked up finally, grinning from ear to ear. "That's incredible! Wow." Michael sighed. "And you were so nervous to tell me?"

"You- you're not going to be mean? Everyone I've told so far has been just...cruel."

"It's all good! I mean, have you told Gavin yet? I wanna be there for that."

Jeremy squirmed again. "Good or bad?"

"Good." 

\---

Gavin was typing furiously at a computer as he finally had some free time after hours. He barely noticed the stack of books that would be his to organize. He began thinking of ways to bribe his friends into doing it for him when Michael came in with Jeremy following. 

"Hey Gav!" Michael called, assured no one was hiding in the stacks. "Jeremy wants to tell you something!"

"Michael! It's not the world's biggest deal,” Jeremy insisted.

"What's up?" Gavin asked, his voice especially chipper. 

Jeremy's voice got blocked in his throat, but it reappeared once Michael gave him a slap on the back. "I'm dating people. Like more than one people."

"What?!" Gavin cheered, getting up to be closer. "Who?!"

"Matt and Kdin," Jeremy sighed.

Gavin's eyes lit up with stars. "That's amazing! I used to be in a polyamorous relationship!"

Jeremy's eyes matched Gavin's, suddenly rid of grey clouds and fear. "You-really?"

"Yeah! Before I met Michael, I dated two men. Oh my goodness! I'm so happy for you!"

Gavin caught Jeremy in a hug, thrilled to share something in common. "Are you all on the same page, though?" His voice suddenly turned a bit grim, nervous almost.

"Like, sexuality wise? Yeah, we're all there.”

Gavin's chest deflated. "Oh, good. I was the only nonsexual in mine. Not a fun time. I'm sure it can work for others, no doubt, but just not for me. I was just worried. I never pictured all of you together as an item!"

Michael held his finger up, "You know what? I propose a double date." 

"That's a great idea!" Matt called from his office. Jeremy's face lit up while Gavin filled the room with laughter. Matt came out with Kdin and they all arranged to have dinner at one of the nicest restaurants they could afford on a teacher's salary. Michael and Gavin then left for home, since they were the ones set to make dinner that night at home. 

"This is such an exciting day," Gavin said. 

"Mhm," Michael mumbled, nearly falling asleep once he got in the car. All the excitement wore his body out even more, making the car seat feel like a pillow.

"You okay, m'boy?"

"School is starting to kick my ass,” Michael whined, “I don't know. Maybe a bit of winter blues?"

Gavin frowned and started planning how to make the love of his life happy again. "Are you excited about the date, though?"

Michael‘s voice picked up a little bit. "Yeah. I'm really happy for them. I always thought they completed each other."

“Me too," Gavin said, "It reminds me so much of Dan and Ray."

"Do you know how they're doing?"

"I started following their content a couple years ago. They're relatively big. They disappeared a little bit about a year ago, though, so who knows what they're up to? Last I heard, they were married, though."

"Ah, well good for them," Michael shrugged it off just to bring it back. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Do you ever miss them, or what you had... or any part of that dynamic?”

Gavin paused and thought. "On occasion, I miss the very very beginning before it got too sexual. After that, not really. I still resent them quite a bit, because I wish it ended differently. I wouldn't really change much, though. Yeah, it sucked a lot of knob at the time but now I have you and you're better than 10 eternities of the beginning of that."

Michael kissed Gavin's hand and held it in his own. “I’m sorry it ended the way it did.”

Gavin nodded his head. “I am too. It’s their loss, though, because now I have you. I have _you_ to do crazy adventures with and to eat great food and to snuggle and to even work together! They’re missing out.”

“They probably do that too, Gav.”

“Yeah, but not with you,” Gavin said as he bopped him on the nose. Michael giggled as they drove up the driveway. Their dinner would be full of laughter and stories, with old and new friends. From then on, their time was focused on their date, just a few days away. Michael would pour his energy into his work while wrapped between blankets and Gavin. It not only helped the work go faster, but he earned a kiss whenever he finished grading a paper. 

And, when Michael curled into Gavin’s arms at the end of the day, he fell asleep to a familiar ode they had framed on the wall about a rainbow.

-

When Friday night rolled around, they couldn't have asked for a better winter experience. Soft, delicate snowflakes dripped from the clouds while they were tucked away in the Italian restaurant. The snow only got a little heavy once they were safely inside. The restaurant they chose was dressy yet still with a faint casual feeling throughout the room. Red velvet tablecloths held their silverware, two forks, a knife and two spoons, and fancy wine glasses. Pictures of vineyards and old homes from Italy decorated the walls. All the men wore dress shirts with ties and slacks since nothing more was needed. Michael wore his favorite, Gavin wore a green one, and the trio wore varying shades of blues to match. 

They ordered their appetizers - a few combination plates to taste everything - as their conversation began.

"So get this," Matt started, "A bunch of seniors today were talking about Senior Pranks. One of them suggested to take the school's phone number and post it around school with 'Call this number with your best Darth Vader impression!' I didn't have the heart to report it."

"Yesterday," Michael continued, "I tried playing one of those games online where the kids use their phones to answer the question on the board. Their nicknames were hilarious! 'Old sport', 'Weird Al', like I didn't think kids would know about that shit, that's funny."

They continued swapping stories from school and childhood as they awaited their meals. They finally arrived; pastas for everybody.They all took a minute to satisfy their grumbling tummies before Kdin asked Gavin something.

"So Gavin, you said you were in a polyamorous relationship before?"

"Yeah!" Gavin answered after he slurped some noodles down. "That was years ago, though, like high school, college times. Michael remembers."

"Psh, yeah. I remember when one of your boyfriends came over when you moved in with me."

The trio laughed, begging Gavin to tell his story. They had heard other stories of polyamorous couples, but to have someone close to them go through one intrigued them. Gavin told them everything, from meeting online to meeting in person,

"And it was all over Skype and it was so cute! Oh! And then we had our weekend in London..."

He told them little stories, of Valentine's Days and birthdays. They would all set time aside for the others birthdays, often singing crudely to each other or showing off their poor art skills. Occasionally, once they were living on their own or in a dorm, they would send small gifts in advance to arrive on the birthday day.

As Gavin beamed with the happy stories, he soon came to the separation between the sexual and the asexual. His voice became a little rough, still a bit uncomfortable from the experience.

"Like, at first I was fine with it. They respected my boundaries, or, so I thought," Gavin explained. "Ray would ask every now and again and then more frequently when I moved to the states. It was really taxing. And then they got super controlling and protective and ultimately asked me to either come home or to leave. And...here I am."

Some of their food had gone a little cold as they were listening so intently. Matt asked how they were doing now, and Gavin explained that they were YouTube stars and married, but didn't know much else. 

"Part of it was my fault," Michael tried easing a bit of the tension. "I was _so_ hot and good looking that Ray felt the need to come allllll the way to our school to confront me.” Gavin nearly spit his drink out from laughing. The laughter finally resumed, Michael feeling confident with his comment. 

Michael went on to explain his dating history, and a bit of how they all ended without giving too much away. He talked about how they didn't accept him fully, but pinned it to his sexuality rather than gender. He told himself that it wasn't the time to explain anything about gender, not on a night like this. After explaining a bit of his anxiety and how it can cause some discomfort but was maintained overall, he earned a round of applause. A few other patrons clapped as well, hopping on the bandwagon.

Not even halfway through the meal, Gavin's phone quickly vibrated and he excused himself from the table to take it, saying it seemed urgent. They nodded and turned back to their meals. Michael, though, started fumbling with his fork, moving his pasta around frantically. He drank his water with a frenzy upon him, before turning back to his fork. 

"Michael?" Kdin asked. When Michael jerked up, his fork went flying to the floor. "Are you okay?"

"I, uh, the last time Gavin had an urgent call around Christmas...he...left," Michael's voice cracked. He was shaking quite a bit at this point. Kdin gave him a new fork, Matt gave him a bit more water, and Jeremy went to summon Gavin back to help. 

"Gavin!" Jeremy called to him, standing in the snow. Gavin turned and held his finger up. Jeremy slapped it out of the way, venom in his eyes. Gavin held his phone out, showing him that he was talking with his father. Jeremy cocked his head and Gavin quickly explained that he was finalizing travel plans. When Gavin hung up, Jeremy got right under his skin.

"You gave Michael a fucking anxiety attack, you know that?" Jeremy's face was bright red. "He's shaking so hard in there right now."

"What? Why?!" Gavin exclaimed. "What did I do?"

"The last time you apparently took a call around this time, you left? What don't I know?" Jeremy had his arms crossed, not only to act more authoritative, but because it was freezing outside.

Gavin's jaw fell to the ground. His hands covered his mouth in humility. "I took a call on Christmas Day from my father, telling me about my mother's cancer. Oh my god, I didn't think it would affect him that much."

"That is called communication issues, my friend," Jeremy snapped. "You two better work this out. I don't even want to imagine how many more forks have been dropped by this point."

The cold masked Gavin's embarrassment as his cheeks were flushed. He took Michael's hand under the table in his own only to have the other jerked away. Gavin tried bringing the conversation back to normal, but the party knew the fun times had vanished for the night. They finished their meals and skipped dessert, promising to return for a dessert date soon enough. The trio took their car back home while the duo stayed behind for a moment alone. 

-

"What happened?" Matt asked Jeremy.

"Gavin took a call on Christmas Day about his mother having cancer and that apparently had Gavin leave Michael? I think in a more 'move back home' way, though. I don't know. They're kinda private about their relationship before," Jeremy said, steering their way home.

"I'm not shocked," Kdin chimed in, "I mean, it sounded really stressful. Cancer isn't easy. And balancing long distance, too, but man, Christmas Day?"

"That's what I don't get!" yelled Jeremy. "Why would Gavin's family ruin such a nice holiday? I can only imagine how tough it is for Gavin."

"That's true. It's kind of a dickish move to not think of Michael, though," Matt added.

"Is it though?" Kdin argued. "How was he gonna know?"

"Communication," Jeremy concluded.

-

"I am so sorry, Michael," Gavin offered. They were the last two in the restaurant, the snow letting up just a little bit. Candles were at the end of their wicks and service was giving them many, many looks. 

Michael didn't say a word. He played with his tie, wishing more than anything to be with Ryan. 

"What was the call about?" Michael eventually whispered. 

"Dad confirmed travel plans," Gavin answered.

"At 2 in the morning?" Michael snapped.

"He works lots of nights, maybe something came up," Gavin was getting tired. "Look, I made a bad call."

"In the middle of a date, too," Michael was tired as well but couldn't let it go. "Would you have done that if we were on our own? That's just bad manners.”

"We've been playing Phone Tag all day. I couldn't pick up while I was on the job-"

"But when you're with people you care about. I get it."

"Michael, where is all this coming from?" Gavin questioned. "You haven't been acting like yourself. You...really didn't touch much of your dinner."

Michael sighed. "School is getting really taxing. I didn't think it would be this difficult. I'm having issues coping,” Michael admitted.

"You couldn't tell me?"

"I...didn't want you to worry."

They fell silent until they were asked to leave. They drove home in the snow and went straight to bed. Michael faced away from Gavin and Gavin did the same. Just as Gavin was drifting off from the stress, Michael tapped him on the shoulder. Gavin turned and sat up, "What?"

"I promise to tell you things I'm upset about," Michael said. "I should've told you. I love you."

"I promise to save my phone calls and texts until I'm on my own, or at least not doing something committed. I love you too, Michael. I'm really sorry I put you through that today. I didn't think of it."

Michael shrugged. "It was just a sensory thing. It felt like it was all happening again."

"Like what?"

"Like when you got the call about your mom. It was close to this time of year. I was taken back to that moment when you told me and I panicked."

"Michael," Gavin's voice cracked. 

"It's not your fault. I didn't really expect you to remember."

Gavin hugged Michael, laying him down with him. He was able to feel Michael's heartbeat through his fingertips and how his breathing eventually settled. 

"We should do this more," Michael said. "This was really helpful."

"Agreed."

Michael switched and became the bigger spoon, holding Gavin until he was sure he was asleep. He slipped out of bed then, to see if Ryan was home yet. He made his way into the kitchen, grabbing a bowl of cereal as well. Just as he took the first sour bite, Ryan unlocked the door. 

"Hey Mikey," Ryan greeted. "Gavin asleep?"

Michael nodded. He walked over to Ryan for a hug. Ryan was taken back but gladly accepted the invitation. "What's up, buddy?" 

"I almost relapsed today."

Ryan sat him down to talk over a few bowls of cereal. Michael got it all out of his system and replaced it with some Honey Nut Cheerios. Ryan enjoyed some too, sleepy and malnourished after a long day of shows. They sat at the table for hours, both talking and joking before the tone turned serious again.

“Do I need to watch over you again?” Ryan asked.

“No,” Michael answered instantly. “No. It was a one time thing. I feel better now. If I _actually_ relapse, then that’s a different story.”

“Did anyone notice?”

“No. Gavin was outside and the others just thought it was an anxiety attack.”

“Alright. It just makes me nervous that you were doing great, and then with Gavin here...never mind. If you need me though, I don’t care what time it is or what my schedule is, you can get me, okay?”

Michael smiled, the only light to illuminate it being from the moon. “Thank you, Rye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could have uploaded this at any time today. But I watched 23 episodes of Steven Universe. Oh my god
> 
> Special thanks to everyone who made me smile this week!
> 
> And because of Camp NaNo, no more procrastination! Follow my campsite (gET IT BECAUSE IT'S CAMP NANO AND A WEBSITE HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED THIS) http://campnanowrimo.org/campers/emilycarosidy HAHA CAMP SITE
> 
> i'm exhausted
> 
> Have a fantastic week!
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	11. i try to picture me without you but i can't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Immortals by Fall Out Boy
> 
> Cards Against Humanity is included in this chapter so if you're sensitive to that game/some of its cards you may want to be careful. I picked relatively tame ones tho

The day before the last day of school was an exciting time for the faculty and staff. It was time for a holiday party. To save time and energy, they decked out the school cafeteria Plus, it spared expense and it mocked how shitty the school dances could be. They had almost every winter holiday represented, from Christmas to Hanukkah to Kwanzaa. Streamers, provided by the dynamic duo, were hanging everywhere there was space. Food was brought in from the school's culinary department and from local companies willing to cater. Someone even brought in their speakers from home to have music playing. Granted, no one was really dancing, rather sitting and chatting, but the background noise was appreciated.

"Are you two excited for your trip?" Kdin asked, sipping on his drink. He and the his crew had their own table, a bit secluded from the rest of the staff.

"I'm so hyped!" Gavin answered.

"I'm only nervous for the flight," Michael admitted, "But they have medicines for that."

"And you have me! I'll keep your mind off of it. And I'll take the aisle seat so you don't have to look at the ocean."

"Thank you love," Michael said, pecking Gavin's cheek. Ever since they told Matt, Jeremy, and Kdin about their relationship, they felt much more comfortable being affectionate at school. Little pecks and more hugs made the days go by just a little faster. 

"That's really sweet," Matt cooed. 

"I remember once I went on a flight and like, the entire thing was fine, I watched movies and all that shit, but the descent felt like a roller coaster. We would do a huge dip and then level again. And again. And again! A few people got sick, even. I didn't think much of it other than having to deal with that dipping feeling a thousand fuckin' times but man, that was a ride."

"Thanks, Jeremy," Michael said sarcastically. 

"Hey," Gavin said, pulling a few decks of cards out of a bag he brought. "Do you remember this game?"

"Cards Against Humanity! Nice! I played the _shit_ out of that game back in college!" Kdin called. 

His attention drew in some other teachers and they played round after round. At one point, one of the gym teachers made a bracket of people to have a large tournament. The groups would play and the winner would merge into a smaller group of the other winners. That was the Championship, where someone would walk away with the grand title of Most Disturbed Person in the Faculty. After dividing people by what they taught and playing some rounds, Michael, Gavin, and Kdin ended up in the Championship. The game was close, but ended with a teacher from the math department winning the whole shebang. 

"Fuck! I was only one card away!" Kdin yelled, returning to his group.

"That means you're the most fucked up of all of us!” Jeremy encouraged. 

“What round did you lose?”

“It was ‘Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of...’ and the choices were ‘Stephen Hawking talking dirty’, ‘science’, and I put ‘heteronormativity’. It actually took a very long time for the decision to be made, but science won out.”

“Man, that's better than my last round," Gavin commented as the rest snickered. “Remember, Kdin?”

“Oh yeah! That was still a great round, though.”

“What was it?” Matt asked.

Gavin had to control his laughter before he spoke. “The card was ‘BILLY MAYS HERE FOR...’ and the choices were ‘Masturbation’, ‘Daddy issues’, ‘Anal beads’ and ‘Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa’.”

The five of them burst out laughing, completely thrown off by the last card. Jeremy wiped tears from his eyes while Michael was holding his stomach. They resumed chatting as the night went on, before going back home and calling it a day.

Inspired, Michael and Gavin went home, curled up on their couch with warm drinks, tangled their legs together,, and watched Aladdin. They would find out later on that Matt, Jeremy, and Kdin went home and did the exact same thing.

-

As Gavin woke up the next day, he saw heavy, fat pieces of snow falling. At first it just made him snuggle closer to Michael under their fluffy comforter, but then he realized what this meant. 

Shoveling.

"Michael," Gavin whispered. Michael groaned, annoyed already for being woken up on a weekend. Gavin shook him again, this time having Michael sit up and grab his glasses.

"What the hell do you want?" Michael snapped his head towards Gavin, his glasses crooked on his nose. Gavin turned his head to face the window, showing him how heavy the snow was. "We gotta take care of that."

"Noooo.” Michael pulled Gavin back under the covers, his glasses falling on the sheets. "If we wait long enough the sun'll do it."

"C'mon, we promised Rye Bread," Gavin tried, but couldn't help falling in love with exactly how warm the bed was. Michael pinned him down, laying on top of him like a human blanket, only taking the time to move his frames. To no fault of his own, Gavin fell back to sleep with Michael secure in his arms.

The next time they woke up was from Ryan, whose pointed eyebrows sent daggers to the couple. "I thought you two fucks were gonna shovel, my car is stuck," he said very solemnly. Michael stirred a bit, not completely comprehending until he saw Ryan's angry face. 

"Fuck, Gavin even woke me up before to do it. I'm really sorry. C'mon, Gav, let's go."

Michael and Gavin bundle up at the speed of the snow falling and made it out with shovels in hand. Michael got to work on the sidewalk while Gavin tackled the driveway. They worked steadily for a bit before Michael could hear Gavin softly singing.

_"Oh yeah, I'll tell you something_  
_I think you'll understand_  
_When I'll say that something_  
_I wanna hold your hand_  
_I wanna hold your hand”_

"Whatcha singing there, Gavvy?" Michael asked in a singsong type of voice.

Gavin stopped instantly. "Nothin'!" he tried, forgetting that Michael was even there. 

"You may want to confess," Michael threatened. 

"Or else what?" Gavin said, continuing his work. Before he knew it, a snowball hit his jacket. He spun around to see a laughing Michael, leaning his forehead on his shovel.

"Are you asking for it?" Gavin threw back, picking up a bit of snow. Michael stuck his tongue out, which was just asking for a snowball to the chest. Their shovels were soon abandoned and they were chucking snow back and forth to one another. The sidewalk was soon covered with the snow from the driveway and vise versa. When Ryan came out to leave again, just to see no way to get into his car, he threw snowballs at both his friends. 

"I have to be at work in like 45 minutes!"

Gavin threw a snowball at Ryan, just to have Ryan pick up a shovel. He began digging his car out, dumping the snow he picked up on Gavin. When Michael burst out chuckling again, Ryan did the same to him. When Ryan finally left, Gavin and Michael were a panting, giggling mess. They collapsed on a snowbank, shoulder to shoulder, facing the sky as snowflakes danced upon them.

 _"Oh please, say to me_  
_You'll let me be your man_  
_And please, say to me_  
_You'll let me hold your hand_  
_I'll let me hold your hand_  
_I wanna hold your hand,"_ Gavin starting singing again. 

Michael took his glove hand and took Gavin's in it. Gavin shook his head and took their gloves off, letting their bare skin warm each other up. They took in the peace of the snow, the pristine white that blanketed their city. Between snuggling in the morning and now being close on the snow, this was a cherished time where nothing could bother them.

"Hey, Gavin?"

"Yeah, Michael?"

"My hand is freezing fucking cold. Can we go make some hot chocolate?"

Gavin snickered and nodded, kissing Michael's hand to keep it warm until they got inside. They turned the stove on for hot water and got out their packets of happiness. Gavin went to their room to pull the comforter off the bed, but Michael insisted it stay there. They went back to bed together, mugs in hand, snuggled under covers and with Netflix at their fingertips.

-

After Michael and Gavin's fight, times were quiet up until they left for England. Michael was putting more time into his work to get a grip before New Years while Gavin kept typing away on his script. Ryan was playing shows often, so if there was a day where he was home, Michael and occasionally Gavin would take the day to all hang out. 

The afternoon before Michael and Gavin left was a free one for Ryan. While Gavin stayed at work for an extra few hours, Michael and Ryan were gaming it up. They would switch from their favorite classics to newer releases, often sticking with what they knew rather than anything new. Ryan repeatedly kicked his ass while Michael would scream every time he died. At one point in their time, Geoff came knocking on their door.

"Come in!" Ryan yelled, twisting his body to defeat Michael. Geoff came in with an apron on and a plate of cookies.

"Lindsay and Monty made cookies and asked me to deliver a plate for you two!" Geoff cheered, placing the platter on the counter. "I have to say, I made the frosting so it's extra cool. They made the dough and decorated."

"They didn't want to bring 'em up?" Michael asked, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"Nah, they were a little too nervous. Plus, they fell asleep once the last one was decorated. Cookie making is hardcore shit, you know," Geoff pointed out. Ryan and Michael nodded in agreement and pause their game to check out the work. They were green and red cookies with varying colors for frosting. "They even mixed the colors for the frosting on their own. I insisted to make it to avoid that nasty canned shit," Geoff explained. "You should've seen their faces when I showed them the sprinkles I found."

"That's so awesome, Geoff!" Michael exclaimed, taking a huge bite of one. "Fuck me, that's delicious."

Ryan followed, letting the sugar and buttery flavors melt in his mouth. "God, that's a damn good cookie."

"I'll tell them your reactions." Geoff giggled. "I'll see you two butts later. You and Gav are leaving soon, right Michael?"

"Yeah, tomorrow. We'll be back just in time for New Years."

"Cool. Have a good trip if I don't see you before then!"

Geoff went back upstairs and left Ryan and Michael with a huge plate of cookies. They truly contemplated putting a few aside for Gavin, but then all of a sudden, there was just one left. 

"I'm sure if Gavin asked Geoff, he has more upstairs," Michael commented. 

"Good," Ryan said, reaching for the last cookie.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you think you're doing?" Michael said, putting his hands on Ryan's chest. "You've had more than me. This is my cookie."

"No, my dear Michael, you've had more than _me_ ," Ryan smirked, "This is my cookie."

"Over my dead body!"

“What have you done to _earn_ this cookie?”

“I’ve put up with your dumb shit for the past decade and a half!”

Ryan and Michael spent a solid ten minutes debating who should get the cookie. Michael mentioned how he was stressed from work while Ryan argued his long distance relationship stress. Michael did start to swing towards that decision before he heard the front door unlock.

"Hey!" Gavin called. "Guess who I found!"

A large man with an orangey brown beard walked in with a couple suitcases. He looked about the same since the last time they had all met, maybe a bit heavier with a slightly more tamed beard. Ryan's hands went to cover his mouth while his breathing hindered. He walked right over, almost hesitating, and embraced his lover.

"You're back for Christmas!" Ryan mumbled into his shirt. Jack kissed the top of his head and held him close to his heart. Gavin walked over to Michael and gave him a peck on the cheek. "I found this pleb outside, hesitating to knock on the door. After catching up for a few minutes, I had to talk him into knocking, and once we heard a couple of shouts from in here we knew we had to invade."

Michael giggled and Gavin reached for the cookie. Michael playfully slapped his hand away from it, telling him to go see if Geoff had anymore. Michael walked over and tapped Jack on the shoulder. 

"Welcome home," he said, giving him the last cookie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had Gavin sing I Want to Hold Your Hand by The Beatles 
> 
> IT'S THE WEEKEND [AGGRESSIVELY THROWS CONFETTI]
> 
> this week was hard af :3c but now it's time to relax <3
> 
> Thanks to my friends for playing Cards Against Humanity with me and giving me some funny shit to use :D
> 
> thanks to everyone who made me smile this week <3 comments and kudos are appreciated!
> 
> my twitter - @Michael_kyan  
> my tumblr - maniacmessiah


	12. a star a star dancing in the night [with a tail as big as a kite]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Do You Hear What I Hear? - Christmas Carol (There are so many versions of this song; I prefer this version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNypBX8sVTM)
> 
> It's Ray's last day at RoosterTeeth today, let's pour one out for him 
> 
> Potential trigger warnings: talk of death (specifically a cemetery)

"Ready?"

Gavin was sitting next to the window seat with Michael to his side. Their carry ons were underneath the seats in front of them and their suitcases were out of sight, out of mind. Michael nodded, taking Gavin's hand in his own and listening to a little bit of music. Gavin took one bud from him to listen, too, and dramatically lip synced during takeoff to distract his love. Thankfully, they were the only two in their row, so no one but Michael could see Gavin's shenanigans. 

About six hours had passed, and just as they wrapped up watching their third movie, the plane rattled a tiny bit. Michael took Gavin's arm and squeezed it as hard as he could.

"Michael, it's fine," Gavin cooed, reaching down to see if they had anything to calm him down. He could only find one of Ryan's stuffed cows. He pulled it out and Michael took it in his arms, clutching it to his heart. He still held onto Gavin, trying not to panic.

"I'm here, I'm here,” Gavin reassured. 

"I need a drink," Michael whined. 

The plane had settled enough to where Michael could have something to calm him down a bit. Once that was finished, though, it got immensely worse. The plane dipped a few hundred feet. sending them down over the Atlantic. The yellow oxygen masks were released, dangling before them. Before Michael had time to react, they dipped again.

"Oh my god, Gavin!" Michael yelled. 

"Hush, Michael! It's okay!" Gavin said, petting Michael's hair after he put his mask on. "Take deep breaths."

Luckily, the plane had settled down and they were off in London within the hour. Michael nearly was in tears when they touched down, alive. 

“You really don’t have good luck with transportation, do you?” Gavin asked. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Michael answered.

-

As they rode through the city, Michael pressed his nose to the window to see as much as he could. Downtown fascinated him, between driving on the other side of the road and the different architecture, he was having a field day. Gavin giggled and took his hand, pointing to varying landmarks he remembered. Some were big, but once they got out of the city, they became more personal.

"We're here!" Gavin finally cheered. Michael stretched his back, stiff from all the travel. He peeked out the window to see the neighborhood they were in, almost looking like his back in the States. Gavin and his brother got their bags while Michael looked at the home. It was small, with flowers all over the front window stills. A small layer of leftover snow hid the grass. It nearly looked out of a movie with how pristine it was. Gavin smirked and went inside, with an amazed Michael trailing behind.

"We're home!" Gavin hollered, setting the bags down next to the door.

"Hello!" Gavin's father called back, rushing into the room to see his son. "Oh, it's been so long!"

"I know!" Gavin replied, giving him a quick hug. "Dad, this is Michael. Michael, this is my dad!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Free," Michael said, a smile from ear to ear. He finally saw where Gavin got his looks from. 

"Oh, you can drop the formalities. You're free to say Dad too, if you like. Gavin's been raving about you so much, you feel like family."

Michael blushed and looked at Gavin. Gavin did the same, excusing himself up to settle into his room. "Dinner's in an hour!" His father called up the stairs. 

Gavin led Michael to his room, the last door on the left. Inside was a small bed with a deep green comforter, a white dresser and an Xbox hooked up to a small TV. "Sweet, he didn't sell it," Gavin cheered to himself. 

Michael sat on the edge of the bed, bouncing a bit on impact. "Your room is cozy as hell," he commented.

"Yeah, I used to share it with my brother when we were lads. Then we moved here and had more room! Even though the room is smaller, it's all mine."

Michael looked to the dresser and looked at the photos. Most of them were of Gavin as a child, with long, long blond hair and a nose he had yet to grow into. "Nice hair, you dork.”

"Ah!" Gavin exclaimed, "I forgot about those!" 

Michael picked one up and looked closer, looking at his brother and sister. "You all look like some detectives," he said.

"Well, we were playing detectives! I was 7 in that photo. Mum took that one." Gavin sighed. Michael set it back down and saw one of Gavin and a woman. She vaguely looked like Gavin today, but in the photo, Gavin looked identical to her. They had the same shade of hair, with the same gentle curls and bright eyes. 

"Is this your mom"?” Michael asked.

Gavin took the frame and nodded. "This was our Easter photo when I was 9. All my sibs have one like this. I had one of me and Dad but that's somewhere around. I just..." Gavin weakly smiled, "I love this one. Look at her smile.”

Michael put his arm around Gavin's hips while he whisked quick tears away. Gavin set it back down and tussled Michael's hair, distracting himself a little bit. Michael went back to settling in, that is, kicking his shoes and flopping onto the bed. Gavin joined him, squeezing on to the twin. After sleeping in a queen for months, this was especially tiny with another person in it. 

They lightly drifted off before Gavin's dad called everyone downstairs. They were drowsy when they got there, but Gavin's sister brought enough energy for everybody. She introduced herself to Michael and more or less spilled her entire life story out onto the table. Gavin's brother sighed at this, but Michael took sincere interest in hearing the story. Gavin's sister admittedly slipped a few times with Gavin's name, but Gavin didn't mind too much. He was just grateful for telling Michael before she could. 

-

After a few days, Gavin took Michael out to a very special spot in town. They didn't need to drive, so they bundled up and appreciated how there was no wind on their walk. As they walked, they began a slightly heated discussion about mistletoe berries. 

"They're red, Gavin, I don't see how they can be anything but red."

"They're not just red, though! They're like this pinkish red, a magenta, if you will."

"If anything, closer to fuchsia. That's all I'm giving you."

"Bullshit!"

"What does it even matter? We don't even have any!"

Gavin cut him off as he turned the corner. Michael's eyes widened as he read the sign, zoning in on the word "cemetery".

"Oh," Michael sighed, his breath staining the air before him. Gavin took his hand and walked him through endless headstones before stopping at one. He smiled and brushed some of the snow off the top of it. Michael squeezed Gavin's hand extra hard. 

"Hi, Mum," Gavin said, taking a seat in the snow. Michael followed suit, annoyed for getting his butt wet but keeping it inside. Gavin went on to explain what that had happened since he last visited. 

"Guess what? I got my degree! Oh, well, you knew that. But I was able to go back to the states! And I became roommates with Geoff, one of Michael's old professors. And some other cool stuff happened, but most importantly...Mum, you're not going to believe it. Michael's back! Michael's even here."

Gavin turned to Michael and lightly nodded his head towards the stone.

"Oh!" Michael was taken back. He turned to the grave marker. "Hi, Mrs. Free. It's Michael."

"Michael's really back. Can you believe it?"

They held hands in the snow, except they kept their gloves on this time. Gavin went rambling on about all the stuff that happened overseas, describing every last detail for his mother. He had talked for a few minutes before stopping mid sentence once, feeling a lump growing in his throat. Michael took his hand to run it over Gavin's back. Gavin stopped talking for a moment. They let snow dust fall on top of them as time continued moving even when they didn’t feel it.

"She loved you so much, Michael."

Michael pulled his head back to look at Gavin. "She did?"

Gavin nodded. "Whenever she was bed ridden, she would ask me to tell stories, so I talked about you a lot. I told lots of the stories that you told me. She adored them. She felt so sad for you when you were sick, but I kept the mood high after we split. I saved the best stories for the very end. I-" Gavin's voice cracked. "I even told her the rainbow ode."

"You did?" Michael's heart tightened with warmth. 

"Yeah,” Gavin nodded. "She loved it so much. She wanted me to publish it but I told her it was for you. She would joke it was for her too, but knew what it meant to us. I actually put a copy into her casket, so she could have it forever."

Michael wiped a few tears away. "That's so beautiful."

"I really wish you met her," Gavin said, tears beginning to slip out of his eyes. "Oh, god, I really wish you met her."

"I know, Gavin," Michael cooed, insisting Gavin put his head on his shoulder. He tipped it onto himself, Gavin nuzzling himself against it. Not only was he cold but he had begun to cry. 

"One day."

-

"Hey!" Ryan called into the mic, nearly blowing Michael's ear drums out. 

"God, Rye! Volume control," Michael retorted. He shook it off and looked back to the camera. "How's it going?"

"Not too bad. Thanks again for letting Jack crash here for the time being! He's sure he can find an apartment soon."

"It's all good! Tell him I say hi."

"Can do, Mikey. So, how’s jolly ol' England?" Ryan teased. 

"It's actually stunning. I like it a lot! The architecture is nothing less than gorgeous. We should come sometime, do some serious sightseeing."

Ryan’s eyes lit up with that proposition. "Where's the Brit himself?"

"Downstairs, having some quality family time. Probably watching tv or something."

"That's really sweet. I'm sure they're excited to be together again."

"Oh, totally. The family is usually all over the world. His sister usually stays in Tokyo these days for her work while her brother is in...Germany I think? Somewhere in Europe. His dad is the only one still home."

"That's incredible," Ryan smiled. "Do anything cool?"

"So far, just Christmas. Oh, we visited Gavin's mom's grave. That was beautiful."

"Oh, yeah," Ryan sighed. "Is he doing okay?"

"He was a little upset but really appreciated me being there, which is what matters."

"Are you doing okay?"

MIchael cocked his head. "What do you mean?"

"Christmas? Gavin? Anything feeling like it needs to come out...?" Ryan coaxed. 

Michael sighed and thought for a moment. "I dunno. I'm starting to feel lots of anger towards our college selves. Like, I'm okay with us today but am suddenly fixated on the past. Is that normal?"

Ryan gritted his teeth. "Mmm. Probably not? You should talk to him.”

"I don't want to ruin the holiday though."

"Well, then Boxing Day. Is that celebrated over there? Just...get it out before you burst it out. I know you, Michael Vincent Jones."

Even after all the time, Michael still loved hearing Ryan say his full name. Ryan went on to talk about the fun times he and Jack were to have together, between movies and presents. Jack said he had something extra special planned, so Ryan was bubbling with excitement. 

Michael heard Gavin coming back up the stairs and left to talk with him. He hung up the call and turned to see Gavin standing with something behind his back.

“Whatcha got there, Gav?”

Gavin stretched out his arm, dangling some bright red berries over Michael’s head. “Guess you were right.”

Michael shook his head and yanked Gavin down on the bed. They lied down and Gavin put the berries on the nightstand, to avoid any mashed messes. They cuddled together for a while, facing each other and lightly kissing intermittently. Gavin fell asleep not soon after, with Michael focusing on how delicate his eyes fluttered shut. His face quickly relaxed, no traces of pain anywhere to be seen. Michael kissed his nose and felt an upset in his stomach. He slid off the bed and got some water, trying to make the nauseating past disappear. Before he knew it, the demons of his past rose again, only to be escaped by either talking or surpassing. 

Michael finished his water and fell asleep next to Gavin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the week is over. aND NOW SPRING BREAK [EVEN MORE CONFETTI THIS WEEK]
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left comments/kudos last week! And thanks to everyone who made me smile this week, it's been rough (but that's not news? lmao). 
> 
> Also, Happy Halfway-Through-the-Story Day! I can't believe how far this has come. It truly feels like yesterday that I posted the first chapter.
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	13. i'm taking a loan on my sanity for the redemption of my soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: "there is a war that's inside my head that questions the results and lies [i'm breaking my back till i'm better off dead when enough ain't enough to survive]"
> 
> Chapter title (and alt title) - 21st Century Breakdown (demo) by Green Day https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB1eeL0uLIw
> 
> Fun fact: This is my favorite GD demo and possibly demo of all time
> 
> TW: talking about eating disorders, heavy angst, all that fun stuff 
> 
> Also, happy birthday to Miles Luna!!

Christmas morning brought Michael and Gavin out of their dreams with the sweet smell of cinnamon. Michael stretched as much as he could on the small mattress and yawned. As if he got no sleep, the pang of nausea hit him again. Michael sighed and got up, leaving Gavin all the space. 

He moved to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, trying to calm himself down. He hated how his body was betraying him like this. It was such a joyous holiday and yet all he wanted to do was board a plane and go home. He couldn't tell if he wished that all this regret and anger would've surfaced sooner, to have gotten it over by now, or if he should re-bottle it.

Gavin's sister was coming up the stairs, knocking on doors to wake everybody. She yelled "Merry Christmas!" and urged everyone to come down as soon as they could. Gavin stirred then, confused when he saw no Michael by his side. Just as he sat up, Michael came back, adjusting his glasses.

"Merry Christmas, love," Gavin said, getting up to give Michael a good morning kiss. Michael wished him the same, thankful for having just brushed his teeth. They each put on a shirt and made their way downstairs.

The Christmas tree shone brightly, with rainbow lights strung around. Lots of bulbs were hanging from the branches along with tinsel. It was simple, but lit up the whole room. Boxes and envelopes were underneath, each labeled for their respective owner. 

Gavin explained his family's tradition of eating breakfast first and then opening presents. Michael nodded, following Gavin into the kitchen. Gavin's sister had woken up early to make cinnamon rolls for everyone, along with any other breakfast items they'd like. Everyone but Michael went for having eggs and toast, too. Of the dozen cinnamon rolls, everyone had two, with Michael having one. The combination of the mint toothpaste and sweet icing made his stomach churn a little bit more.

Once everyone had full tummies, they crowded around the tree. Michael felt fortunate for Gavin taking him out shopping a few days before. Without it, he would feel even more like a fool. Gavin's sister loved the necklace Michael picked out and Gavin's brother gave him a side hug for the new belt. Gavin's father especially loved the gift cards to eat out and a new coffee mug. Michael thought they gifts felt lame, but seeing Gavin's family brighten up made him feel a bit better.

Gavin's sister gave both of them matching mugs, the cheesy ones for couples. Gavin's brother gave Michael a sweater and Gavin a hat that just so happened to match. Gavin’s father gave them a very special presents, a few days staying in London so not only they could get out of the house, but they could have some memories to talk about that didn't involve a tiny bed.

Once the presents were unwrapped, Gavin and Michael headed back upstairs, thinking about how to spend the rest of the holiday. Once they got in the room, Gavin made sure the door was shut. "You all good?" he asked softly, squeezing Michael's arm.

"Yeah, it's just...overwhelming," Michael passed it off. 

"Need to talk?" Gavin's voice turned serious.

"Remember our last Christmas? Yeah," Michael snapped, tensing up at Gavin's once loving touch. 

Gavin urged him to lay with him, to decompress. Michael did such, vowing to himself to talk about everything once they were home. That would be for the best, to keep their vacation light. He already hated how swollen things had become. 

-

A few days before they were home bound, Gavin and Michael headed to London for some classic sightseeing. He would show him Big Ben, the London Eye, and all the other cheesy, oversold tourist spots. They drove in, submerging themselves into the culture. After finding a place to keep their car for the day, they headed out on the street. The first thing that escaped Michael's lips was how _cold_ it was. 

"Yeah, it's colder than usual," Gavin admitted. "Let's walk around, it'll warm us up!"

Michael linked his arm with Gavin's, following his lead around the city. They came across the Science Museum and decided to rebel against the cold in there.

When they came back out, they were right next to a restaurant with a bar, so they stopped in to avoid the snow. They found a table near the front and ordered some bevs to avoid the winter. They made conversation, talking about their blast at the museum and thinking of where to head to next. Before long, though, fate made that decision for them.

"Oh my fucking god, no, you've got to be fucking kidding me," Gavin rambled, staring at the door. Michael twisted in his chair to see two men walk inside. "What is it, love?"

"Who the hell do you think it is?" Gavin spat. Michael adjusted his glasses and figured it out. 

Dan and Ray.

From Gavin clunking his head on the table, it caught the attention of the couple. They cocked their heads towards Michael, who couldn't seem to pull away. "Uh, hi?" Michael mouthed. 

"Every fuckin’ time we're in London!" Ray shouted, traces of a British accent lacing his American. 

"Shut up, Ray. But yes, every fucking time!" Dan returned. "Uh, hi Michael. Gavin?"

Gavin picked his head up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Hi Daniel. Hi Ray," he mumbled. 

"Now that's not the greeting two men who sent you home all that time ago deserves!" Ray joked, coming over to sit with them. "How've you been?"

"Uh, fine? I- oh my god a stroller."

Michael turned around again to see Dan pushing a huge pink stroller with a tiny baby inside. Dan lifted the little canopy to reveal her, who was now whimpering at the quick changes of outside to in.

"Yeah," Ray smiled. "We adopted her this year. Isn't she a peach?"

Dan picked her up, letting Michael and Gavin see. She had a small button nose, little pink mittens and a sweater with a cat on it. Michael and Gavin looked at each other and invited them to join for drinks. 

They moved to a bigger table and Dan ordered a few. Ray promised to be designated driver and instead drank some sodas. They all caught up, with Dan and Ray explaining the whole process. 

"We were paired with her super quickly, too," Ray went on to say, cradling the bundle in his arms. "Our social worker said we were one of the quickest pairings he's ever seen."

"Dudes, that's incredible," Gavin said, holding his drink in the air. Michael followed, with Dan and Ray clinking in the end. 

"So, it's been, what, six years or so? What have you been up to, Gav?"

Gavin went through his spiel, explaining college and moving back to the states. Michael chimed in with his story, too, starting to feel some of the effects of the alcohol. Gavin patted his hand when he started getting a little too loud after a couple more drinks. Michael ordered another just as Dan asked a question. Gavin ordered a few glasses of water, nervous now with how heavy Michael was drinking.

"Have you two been together ever since?" Dan asked. 

Gavin opened his mouth to answer, but Michael downed the rest of his drink and spoke for him. "Nope! He left me! He left me in liiiiiiike, June? Yeah, June that year. June 2014."

Gavin's face flushed while Dan and Ray shot each other uncomfortable glances. Michael was beginning to lose himself through the drinks. 

"Uh, okay," Ray said, passing the baby to Dan. "Uh, should I ask anymore?" he asked Gavin.

Gavin tried shaking his head no but Michael overheard. "HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED," he exclaimed, slamming the drink on the table. "I had an _eating disorder_ because Gavin here wasn't coming back _anytime soon_. I loved him so much and I was freaking out. I had to control _something._ But _he left anyways!_ He left me all alone in the United States." He mocked a pouty face towards an wide eyed Gavin. "He left when I needed him most. He left after finals, though, that was pretty cool. But when I hit rock bottom, he was nowhere to be seen. I still can't believe that! I only had m'friend Ryan and god I love him so much, I miss him so much... But I digress! I'm talking about how awful Gavin was near the end. If I needed him, sometimes he would be there! I thought that was part of what a relationship was, being there for one another! But he left when I needed him most. He left when I needed him most." Michael stood up, the force of his body throwing his chair to the floor and stormed out of the bar. 

The three remaining men sat there in pure shock. Gavin didn't even realize he was crying. He got up to see if Michael had gotten far, but he just saw him sobbing on the sidewalk, leaning against the brick of the bar.

"Are you done?" Gavin snapped, pulling Michael up to his feet. 

"I'm lost..." Michael slurred, tears beginning to freeze on his face.

"I can't believe you."

Gavin went inside and exchanged numbers with his exes, promising them a calm Skype call later on, just the three of them. Gavin went back out and hailed a taxi, bringing Michael back to his car. He forgot about their vacation in London completely; all he could focus on was the poison running through his body. Michael was a mixture of tears and sleep, dozing off against the window. When they got back home, the moon had already replaced the sun. Gavin got a pillow and a blanket for Michael to sleep on the couch, and Michael passed out on the spot while Gavin went upstairs and wept.

-

When Michael woke up in the morning, he had no idea where he was. 

The last thing he remembered was being in the bar, and then magically in a cab. His head was pounding, and he noticed a glass of water next to him. He gulped it down, letting the liquid sooth the burns of this throat. He sat up to see Gavin's brother sitting on the other couch, earplugs in as to not disturb his guest.

"What's going on?" Michael whispered, his throat hurting much more than he intended. Gavin's brother glanced over and winced, pulling the buds out. 

"You and Gavin need to have a talk," he said, very solemnly.

"What? What happened? How did I get here?"

"I would give him another hour to sleep. He was up almost all night. I don't know what else to say." 

Michael checked the time and spent it trying to rid himself of his hangover. He checked Skype to see Ryan's messages.

"what happened w/you and gavin?"

"how come everyone knows but me?" he typed back. Michael drank a few more glasses of water and very timely went into Gavin's room. He could only see the lump of his body and soft, scattered breaths rising and falling.

"Gavin?" Michael whispered.

Gavin flipped the sheets down to see and covered his head just as quickly. 

"What's going on?"

"'I left you when you needed me most?’" Gavin quoted.

"What?"

Gavin sat up and nearly charged over to Michael. "That's what you thought happened? I left you when you needed me the most, like I'm some _victim_?"

Michael sat down, his headache coming raging back. "What happened, what's going on? I don't remember. I last remember being in the bar."

Gavin's spoke through gritted teeth. "All you did was drink, drink, drink. And Ray asked what happened to us seven years ago and you just fucking took over. How long was that pent up, Michael? Seven fucking years?"

Bits and pieces were coming to Michael’s head. “Gavin, I-”

“Fucking forget it.”

Gavin left the room and Michael heard the front door click behind him. Michael burst into tears, throwing and thrashing about, accidentally knocking some stuff off Gavin’s bureau. When he heard glass shatter from a particular frame, he knew he was even more fucked. Michael tried repairing it, but when Gavin came back, he screamed even more. Michael yelled back, arguing just the points he did the night before. They yelled so much that the rest of Gavin’s family all went out to avoid the toxicity. 

A few days later, on their plane ride home, Michael didn’t mind the turbulence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me
> 
> On a happy note, I'm almost done drafting the whole story! I have another chapter and a half or so to write and then from then on out, it's all editing. And I'm already thinking ahead to my next huge project (which saddens me a bit to leave this but it's gonna be great!!)
> 
> Thanks for comments, kudos and hits! They're all appreciated <3
> 
> Thanks to everyone who made me smile this week c:
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	14. like a crutch you carry me without restraint back to a place where i am not alone [i'm a man whose tragedies have been replaced with memories tattooed upon my soul]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Into You by Dead by Sunrise 
> 
> Happy May!!

When Michael and Gavin walked in the door, Gavin went straight for his room. Ryan was fixing a cup of tea as he watched Gavin storm past him, leaving his luggage at the front door. He turned to Michael, who sunk into the couch and had his arms crossed. Ryan sat down next to him, pulling Michael's head to his shoulder. Michael snuggled against it, taking shaky, deep breaths. 

"What happened?" Ryan softly asked. Michael didn't answer at first. Instead he let the silence answer for him until he was ready. When he finally was, though, it was simple.

"I fucked up."

Ryan exhaled, sipping his tea and offering the mug to Michael to share. Michael took some sips too, not necessarily enjoying the strong, black tea flavor but had no energy to complain anymore. Ryan waited for Michael to tell more about what happened. Michael eventually explained how they met up with Dan and Ray, how he had his meltdown in the bar, how he cracked the picture frame of Gavin's most precious photograph. Ryan admittedly knew each detail from Gavin talking with him through text, but needed to see his best friend's perspective as well.

"I fucked up so bad and now he won't talk to me. I'm scared, Ryan."

"You need to make it right. Get a new frame. Make some cookies. D- hold on a moment, please." Ryan's phone started to ring. "Hello? Oh, oh my god, really. That's wonderful! Yes, yes thank you!" He hung up the phone and turned to his potato of a friend. "I won an acting award!"

Michael's eyes lit up a lot. "You did?" Michael smiled. 

Ryan nodded his head, wrapping his arms around Michael. “They’re having a ceremony on the third, please come!" 

"Oh, of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

Michael and Ryan spent the rest of the night watching late night television and sharing mugs of tea. By their third cup of chamomile, after some fruity flavors to make up for the black tea, Michael was falling asleep on the couch. Ryan went up to go to bed, but Michael took his arm. 

"Can I join you? This couch isn't sleeping material...and..."

Ryan nodded, even letting him change into some of his pajamas to avoid the bedroom altogether. Michael thanked him profusely, promising to make the morning coffee in return. Ryan cheered to himself as they got ready for bed and shared the bed, for old time's sake, they told themselves.

-

Michael stood in the bathroom fixing his hair when Gavin walked in behind him. "'Scuse me," Gavin mumbled, grabbing his comb and a bit of hair gel. Michael moved forward, pushing his tummy into the sink ledge a bit, making room for the lad. Michael sighed once he left, curious when he could hear a normal, lovely sentence out of him again. Then again, though, it wasn't as angry as the last time he asked for something, so he took it as a small victory. 

Michael and Gavin, through Ryan, agreed to ride in together and sit together during the ceremony, for Ryan's sake. Ryan smirked, hugging them both and running out to be early for the event. Michael then turned to get in the shower, but Gavin beat him to it and took up most of the hot water. Michael rolled his eyes at the immaturity and loaded up on some food as to not have a growling stomach midway through the night. 

Gavin, meanwhile, was trying to make the clock go at the speed of sound to get it over with. He had forgiven Michael for being upset, but having him keep it secret, along with breaking the frame still hung on his conscience. As he got ready, he wished with all his might that he had brought it with him when he came back, but the anger he had had a way of having him forget things. 

Michael sat in the car, shivering a bit as he waited for Gavin. Gavin showed up and they barely made their train, silent for the duration of its rattling adventure. They hailed a cab to the theater and still gazed out their own respective windows. Sitting in the velvet seats of Broadway didn't help either, and with Ryan peeking from the curtain, he shook his head at their stubbornness. 

"They've been friends for ages," Ryan complained to anyone who could hear. "They've been fine ever since they got back together!"

"Have they?" a woman asked, being the only one to involve herself. "Like, nothing bad at all?"

"I mean, they had a small fight like two weeks ago but it wasn't anything like this. They were back to talking the next day," Ryan explained.

"And you said they had a _serious_ falling out, that they never really talked about?"

"Yes, exactly."

The woman cocked her head towards Ryan, kind of waiting for him to figure it out. Ryan suddenly straightened up as if he had seen the light. "This was long overdue," he whispered. "Oh man," he groaned.

"It'll be okay. They just need some time. If they love each other like you say they do, they'll be back to themselves in, at most, a week or two. It's their duty."

Ryan smiled. "Thank you. I really appreciate it." He thought for a minute, peeking back out to the audience. "It's kinda funny, they act like an old married couple."

-

When Gavin woke up the next morning, Michael was nowhere to be seen. 

His routine hoodie was off its hook, his shoes weren't next to the dresser, and his hat wasn't next to his brush on the bureau. Gavin shrugged it off, shocked to even have notice all the missing items. Before he got back down, though, he saw something on his nightstand. 

A photo of himself and his mother in a sparking new frame.

Gavin reached for it, nearly cradling it in his hands. The frame was a warm grey and had a beautiful shiny plaque over it. Even a small grey bow was stuck to the lefthand corner. Gavin looked around, his heart suddenly warm after days of bitter cold. The anger melted from him as he pressed the picture to his chest. 

Gavin popped out of his room, peeking around for Michael, but he wasn't home. He lightly knocked on Ryan's door to hear a "come in!" on the other side. 

Gavin opened the door to see Ryan online, dicking around with some video game. "What's up?"

"How do I make it up to Michael?" Gavin asked, showing Ryan what Michael did. Ryan's eyes lit up, explaining he already had a plan. 

-

Michael came home mid afternoon, full of fast food and a new movie. He spent the day taking a small walk around a track and then checking out the mall. It wasn't special but it meant something to him to have his own time. He entered to see the blinds pulled and a dozen candles supplying light. For a moment, he assumed the power had gone out, but he soon heard soft guitar playing in the kitchen. 

Gavin was sitting on a chair with Ryan behind him. He was tuning his guitar, finding just the right note.

“What is all this?” Michael asked. Ryan hushed him as Gavin began to sing.

_I believe in nothing_  
Not the end and not the start  
I believe in nothing  
Not the earth and not the stars 

_I believe in nothing_  
Not the day and not the dark  
I believe in nothing  
But the beating of our hearts 

“Gavin…” Michael sighed, his entire body being overruled by butterflies. Gavin smiled and gestured towards the photograph, sitting on their kitchen counter. Ryan softly cleared his throat, supplying background vocals for the second half of the song.

_I believe in nothing_  
One hundred suns until we part  
I believe in nothing  
Not in sin and not in God 

_I believe in nothing_  
Not in peace and not in war  
I believe in nothing  
But the truth in who we are 

As the last notes faded out, Gavin stood up and held Michael. Michael gripped onto Gavin’s shirt, holding him with as much sincerity as he could possibly muster. 

“I’m really sorry, Michael.”

“I’m more sorry, Gavin. I’m so sorry. Oh my god.”

As Ryan brought the electricity back, Michael and Gavin promised, this time, with absolute clarity, to communicate better. They spent the night letting every last skeleton out of the closet, wounding each other in the process to be repaired tomorrow. They admitted to making mistakes in the future, but they never ever wanted to repeat what happened. 

They lost each other once, they found it foolish to risk it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used - 100 Suns by 30 Seconds to Mars
> 
> I didn't do too much research for this chapter so...well, if that ceremony thing doesn't make complete sense I'm sorry I just needed that in there ;w;
> 
> Back to your regularly scheduled story! I hope you had a fantastic week! Thank you to everyone who made me smile c:
> 
> Comments/kudos are always appreciated <3
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	15. love forever love is free [let's turn forever you and me]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz
> 
> Hey remember when Ryan asked Michael for that Kinder egg when he was in Europe and I totally included that in past chapters? Of course you do!
> 
> (also pretend i know how kinder eggs work i live in the us so)

As the winter moved on, the snow only got worse and worse. It came to the point where the entire house was full to its breaking point, Geoff, Griffon, Lindsay and Monty upstairs and Michael, Gavin, Jack and Ryan below them. Thankfully, it was the weekend, so no one needed to be anywhere in particular. Even Ryan didn't have any neck breaking shows - the theater was shocking flexible because of the horrific weather.

The four of them were paying a board game when Michael suddenly hopped up to get a bite to eat. Ryan moved with him, asking to talk to him for a moment alone. Michael's eyebrow shot up but he accepted. They went into his room, Ryan even locking the door behind him. He bounced on the balls of his feet, his hands tucked underneath his arms. 

"So...?" Michael asked.

Ryan had his tongue in his cheek. "I wanna propose."

Michael's face went from confusion to excitement. Just as he was opening his mouth, Ryan shut it with his hand.

"You know that Kinder egg I asked for? I put the ring inside with a little note. Will you video tape it? Pretend you're taking a picture of Gavin or something?"

"Ryan, of course! Oh my god, this is so awesome!! How did you get it in there?"

"I mean, I cracked the egg open to get it in there, it was kinda hard putting it back together though. Nothing a bit of frosting glue couldn't solve."

"Ryan, I am so happy for you."

Ryan couldn't stop smiling. "Okay, you have any food in here so we can bring something back, act like nothing happened?"

\--

Michael came back out with a little plate of crackers and more sodas for everybody. Jack popped his open right away, taking a big gulp of the bubbly liquid. Gavin munched on a few crackers, getting crumbs all over his face. Ryan looked to Michael and stared at him, hoping he would get the message. Michael understood, pulling his phone out and hitting record. 

"Gavin, smile!" Michael said, pointing the camera to Gavin. Meanwhile, Ryan pulled the egg out of his pocket. 

"Oh! Jack, I got this for you!" Ryan exclaimed, holding out the small treat to his boyfriend. Jack was too excited to notice the wrapping looks a bit off. As Jack held it, asking how on Earth he got one, Michael slowly moved the camera to the side. Gavin cocked his eyebrow, but as he heard Jack yelp and hug Ryan, he got the message. 

"Yes! Yes, yes, oh my god, yes," Jack cried out, tears edging his eyes. Ryan had tears as well as he held his fiance for the first time. 

Michael and Gavin began applauding, and that's when Jack finally noticed the camera. He buried his face into his hands and leaned into Ryan's chest. Ryan left little peppers of kisses all over the man's hair, shocked and amazed that this was reality, nothing was false. 

"Was there paper attached?" Michael asked, still rolling.

"Yeah," Jack mumbled. He pulled it back out and read it for the group. "'Haywood you marry me?'"

Gavin squealed with happiness as Michael high fived his best friend for his cleverness. They couldn't really go back to their game, so Gavin offered to make a grand meal of meals for everybody, including their neighbors, to celebrate the event. This was the one time he really appreciated grocery shopping since he had enough ingredients to make something extra special that everyone could enjoy. Michael went downstairs to tell the Ramseys (and the Oum), to which they applauded and cheered so loudly that Gavin, Ryan, and Jack heard. They promised to be up to help make dinner. 

In 10 minutes flat, there were teenagers cutting vegetables, one couple prepping meat, and another couple cutting potatoes. There was music playing from a radio station, so on songs people knew, there was off key singing and lots of laughter. When everything was in the oven, they got down on the floor and set tablecloths for a picnic style meal. They even used fancy dinnerware for a twist. When the foods were ready, they were placed atop pot holders to not burn the plastic mat. They dined in style, having the music as background noise as knives and forks clinked and conversation overpowered. 

Lindsay and Monty were more interactive than normal, getting lots of the exciting energy to flow through their bodies. They were laughing lots more and they were itching to leave and work on their project. They had seconds and thirds and even pitched in some of their own stories. Lindsay told their happy stories of before living with the Ramseys and Monty even talked about some of their private life, too. They especially talked about sibling rivalry, seeing as they have six older siblings, to which nearly every adult groaned and it sparked even more stories. Nothing stopped their conversations until they needed to pause, suddenly curious about some sort of dessert. Some tried to deny, but it wasn't everyday that someone got engaged. Geoff had a couple cartons of ice cream, so he brought them up with some plastic spoons. Michael even found some cream in his fridge so he whipped it up for a sweet topping. They all admitted to eating lots of it straight from the mixing bowl but no one could blame one another. Only until Griffon and Geoff started to get sleepy was when the festivities began to fizzle out. Lindsay and Monty were wide awake, though, and Gavin let them stay downstairs since they were being so inviting. Geoff and Griffon gave their best wishes to the newly engaged and went back upstairs.

"So, what to do?"

"Uh," Lindsay started, looking to Monty for approval. "Should we?"

Monty nodded, first sneaking upstairs for their book. 

"We want to share our project, see if it's any good?" Lindsay asked, little trembles in their voice.

"Yes!" Gavin cheered. "Go right ahead."

"Okay," Lindsay took a deep breath. "So, there's this magical world called Remnant. It's supernatural and there's this stuff called Dust that allows for really cool weapons and abilities. If you have the abilities, you can fight monsters called Grimm and be a Huntsman or a Huntress."

Monty chimed in, "We have four characters, right now, the first team. They're in school learning how to become Huntresses and also meet new teams and such, very high school. We have Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna and Yang Xiao Long. They're team 'RWBY', spelled R-W-B-Y."

"We're going to have other teams, too," Lindsay continued, "But they're still in development. It's gonna be fight-y and action-y while also having some humor and friendship along the way."

"What...do you think?" Monty concluded.

"It's intriguing," Michael commented. 

"It seems very open ended right now," Ryan added.

"Yeah, I mean, we've been working on the world building and characters right now," Lindsay admitted. "It still has a long way to go. But as a basic premise?" They were playing with their necklace, awaiting the response.

"I love it," Jack said. "I mean, with some development, this could be pretty big."

"Yeah!" Gavin said. "I'll help along the way, if you need it, of course."

"Same here," the other three said in unison. Lindsay and Monty grinned, offering to show the sketches they had so far. Ryan marveled over Ruby's gun-scythe while Gavin got excited over Blake's design. Michael suggested that Yang should have some sort of gun, like Ruby, so Monty jotted it down. Jack suggested a romantic interest for Weiss, which was also considered. They went on, brainstorming new characters and friends for everybody. 

“We’re gonna need more friends,” Monty said, making Lindsay laugh. “You think we can find anymore?”

“I know Barbara has a bunch of friends, maybe she can help!”

“Who’s Barbara?” Gavin asked, the corners of his lips moving up.

“Oh, she’s in my art class,” Lindsay explained, “She’s gonna play Yang, my character’s sister.”

“And we also have a girl named Arryn and another named Kara helping out. They’re the other main characters,” Monty tacked on. 

“Oh! That’s great! Do you work at all outside of school?” Ryan questioned.

“Sometimes, we stay after school in the cafe. We can get a lot done there.”

“Well, if you ever need the space, the five of you can work here if you need it,” Michael offered, Gavin and Ryan nodding in agreement. The teenagers thanked them a lot and then headed back upstairs.

“That's going to go places,” Jack said, sighing in contentment. 

The other three nodded, with Gavin feeling an overpowering sense of pride in the teen he watched grow up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B)
> 
>  
> 
> _I rly didn't feel like editing a lot this week spare me_
> 
>  
> 
> Ah, back to wonderfully depressing weeks. ONLY LIKE 5-6 WEEKS OF HIGH SCHOOL LEFT!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who made me smile this week <3
> 
> My twitter- @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	16. throwing a line out to sea to see if i can catch a dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - She Had the World - Panic! at the Disco
> 
> (there's a lot of end notes this week heads up lol)

"I'll see you later!"

Jack knocked on the door to their bedroom, letting them know he was heading out. He was going to see Ryan's show and see his fiance perform for the first time. Ryan knew he was planning to, but he didn't know exactly which show he booked. He assumed a matinee, and he would find out he was right. 

"Okay, have a good time!" Gavin called back. Jack grinned and headed out, ecstatic to see his lover doing what he loved most in the world. 

When Michael and Gavin heard the front door click, they high fived each other. They loved having Jack back and Ryan as a roommate, but the alone time they had was becoming more and more meaningful. They were closer than ever after the fight, so they were doing newer, more exciting things with their lives. 

"So, what would you like for lunch, Mr. Free?" Michael asked, suddenly proper and mocking the other's accent. 

"That's a good question, my dear Michael," Gavin played back. "Why not something of the most exquisite of palettes?" 

Michael went out and scrounged around their cabinet and asked to have some time alone to create a culinary masterpiece, even going as far as to ask Gavin to get dressed up for the occasion. Gavin stayed in the bedroom, putting on a fancy shirt and tie while giggling. He waited for Michael to fetch him, sitting on the bed and swinging his feet back and forth. Michael came in, maybe 10, 15 minutes later, escorting him to the kitchen. Gavin found a small table that had a makeshift cover on top of both plates. Gavin cocked and eyebrow to Michael, urging him to get dressed too. Michael was shocked to see Gavin wait for him, but when he came back, they sat down for their banquet. 

"On three," Gavin said. "One, two, three!"

On his plate were some chicken nuggets, a little fruit cup, and a little cup of microwave macaroni and cheese. There wasn't a vegetable in sight. Gavin burst into laughter, amused by the exquisite build up. Both joked the whole time while drinking milk out of wine glasses. 

"I say, this chicken is just the best I've had! So moist, and tender!"

"I agree, but have you had the macaroni yet? The 'cheese' just melts in your mouth!" 

They chucked the whole time, nearly finishing the meal by the time it was cold. Michael cleared the plates and, unfortunately, spilled a bit of the juice from the fruit onto his best shirt. "Aw, shit..." Michael mumbled, rushing to get a paper towel. Gavin found him the roll, helping him blot the stain.

"Gotta get this shit dry cleaned," Michael said, beginning to unbutton the garment. Gavin jokingly raised an eyebrow. Michael lightly punched his arm, bringing the shirt off his skin. Gavin still loved to admire Michael's body and chest, if only for the journey that was plastered in scars and skin. It reminded Gavin of an idea, and when Michael started to find another shirt, Gavin stopped him.

"I know what we should do!" Gavin said, still holding Michael's wrist.

"What's up?"

"Can...I paint your back? Like, with washable paint, of course."

Michael nodded his head yes, a smile growing on his face. Gavin went and found some paint he got just for this moment and some more paper towels. Michael got situated on their bed, laying on his tummy. He had a pillow to rest on while Gavin straddled his legs. 

"What should I paint?" Gavin asked, "I have all the primary colors, the secondary ones, and black and white."

"Paint whatever makes you happy!" Michael cheered, giving him a thumbs up from his position. Gavin nodded and dipped his brush into the blue. The chilled paint make Michael squirm a little but they didn't even mind. He switched from color to color, thankful for buying a pack of brushes instead of just one or two. Michael loved feeling the bristles against his skin, going up, down, and side to side. It became so comfortable; between the movements and feeling Gavin on his legs that he began to doze off. 

When Gavin snapped his fingers next to his ear, Michael's head jerked up. Gavin giggled and said he was finished with his masterpiece. Michael asked for a photo, and when Gavin showed him his work, he was beaming. Gavin had painted a small pasture of cows, three of them, with a bright blue sky and sun. The cows vaguely looked like them, including Ryan. The grass was choppy, but it was as if the cows were having a field day with it. The Michael cow had little glasses, the Ryan one had longer hair, and the Gavin one had a pronounced nose. Michael smiled and wished more than anything that this wasn't on his back and rather a canvas, despite how childlike it looked. 

Gavin asked if Michael wanted to try, and soon Gavin was on the bottom with Michael on his legs. Michael tapped the edge of a brush to his lip for a moment before diving into some green. Gavin squirmed like a worm from the contact. "Stop moving, fucker!" Michael yelled, pressing kisses to Gavin's shoulders to get him to chill. Gavin calmed down, soon finding the same peace Michael found in having paint on your back. 

Gavin was just going under when Michael announced he was done. He took a photo and Gavin saw it, his eyes lighting up. Michael had painted the three of them too, except as flowers. Ryan was a daffodil, Michael was a pansy, and Gavin was a rose. A sunset type sky was the background with even, prickly grass as the flower's bed. Gavin especially took in the detail of the flowers.

"How'd you do that?"

"I bake a lot, Gav. I've made flowers out of frosting before, I know how they work," Michael explained. Gavin then requested to see him in action, so as Michael got up to show him how we could work his craft, he got a phone call from Kdin.

"Hey!" Michael said into the receiver. "No, we're not too busy, what's up?" Michael listened for a minute, starting to feel a little stiff from the cows on his back. "Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun! Let me see what Gavin thinks!"

Michael covered the receiver and asked Gavin if he would feel up for an ice skating double date. Gavin nodded his head enthusiastically. Michael explained that they would meet them there in about 45 minutes, for they had to get ready. Kdin said he'd see them there and hung up.

"Care to help me get all the paint off?" Michael asked. 

"My pleasure!" 

The two of them got in the shower together, bathing suits on because of a bit of body dysphoria. It bothered them just enough to have to do that but neither one cared. Gavin softly moved a pouf along Michael's back, letting the colors run past their feet and down the drain. Michael did the same for Gavin, sad to see the flowers go so soon. He loved the picture he took, though, and had high hopes for it in the future. 

They shampooed the other's hair, too, trying their best to avoid getting soap in their eyes. Gavin ended up with just a splash in his left eye, but all the pain went away when Michael gave the lid a kiss. They soon realized their time limits and rushed out, blow drying their locks to avoid freezing it and dressing in some warm thermals. They rushed out of the house and to their local ice skating rink with a minute to spare.

The rink was a double decker, with the bottom one open for free skate. Michael and Gavin found the three adults renting ices skates, with Jeremy receiving his and Matt already lacing up. "Hey!" they all greeted in unison. 

"What's the occasion?" Gavin asked, getting in line behind Kdin. 

"I don't know how to ice skate," Kdin admitted, "So these two fuckers decided it was my time to learn."

"You never know when you'll need it!" Matt argued. "What if you were stranded in the forest, with a bear chasing you. You reach an icy lake. It's either make it across the lake or be bear food."

"When the fuck am I going to be in a forest?" Kdin asked.

Jeremy howled with laughter over Kdin's tone. Michael and Gavin got their skates and tied them up. 

"When's the last time you've ice skated?" Michael asked Gavin.

"Fuck, it's been years. I don't even remember! I remember coming here with Geoff and Lindsay once, when they were still in the process of adoption and Geoff wanted to make sure Lindsay was extra super happy and all. Not to say he still doesn't, but it was in that bonding time. I tagged along but just ate lots of snacks."

"That's cute," Michael smiled. "I think the last time I ice skated was with Ryan in college. We were bored out of our minds so we drove for like an hour trying to find a nice ice rink. We found a decent one but the ice hadn't been cleaned in a while, so we fell a lot because of the cracks. Besides a few bruises, it was really fun!"

They waddled over to their friends, trying to explain how to ice skate while still on the rubbery floor. Kdin kept shaking his head, not understanding what they meant. Gavin laughed and took Kdin's hand, Kdin's ankles almost giving out from standing on the blades. He took him over to the ice and more or less threw him on. Kdin instantly felt for the wall, retaining his balance. 

"I could've fallen!" Kdin cried. 

"Oh please, you're gonna fall a lot or be a wall hugger. Let's go!"

Michael, Matt and Jeremy followed them, each taking a lap to warm up and practice. Kdin inched his way along, making it not even a quarter of the way by the time everyone rendezvoused. Matt and Jeremy stayed with him, encouraging him to lift his feet off the ice, while Michael and Gavin glided together. 

"I'm a lot better at this than I anticipated," Michael said, pushing his way along. 

"Yeah, I'm shocked we've never done this before. This is like a classic date."

Michael took his hand in Gavin's and, because of their slightly varying speeds, began to pull each other along. Gavin lost his footing at one point, but Michael was able to keep him from hitting the floor. Michael, though, lost his footing too, but it sent him and Gavin down. They burst out laughing, struggling to get back up. Matt, Jeremy, and Kdin eventually caught up to them as they stood again.

"Hey, look at you not holding onto the wall," Gavin noted. Kdin was in between Matt and Jeremy, holding their hands.

"They've just been pulling me along, to get used to how it feels on the ice. It's fun!" Kdin cheered, lifting his hands above his head. It made Matt lose his balance, though, since Kdin didn't let go. He started to fall, bringing down his boyfriends with him. It scared Kdin a little bit but then he was laughing along with everybody. Gavin helped them all up and they then skated together. They glided around, following the pattern of the day. 

Michael pulled Gavin out towards the middle at one point. Gavin was confused but soon, Michael took both his hands and leaned back a little. Gavin followed suit, having the tips of their skates touching. They stood like that until some teenagers started spinning circles around them, so they caught back up with their friends. 

They all agreed they needed a snack break, so they went off the ice and to the concessions stand. Matt and Michael both got some fries, Gavin got some nachos and Jeremy and Kdin split a hot dog meal combination. Along with some waters for everybody, they found a table and relaxed.

"Ice skating requires a lot more energy than I thought," Kdin said, slightly out of breath.

"You must not be in shape then, seeing as you were just being pulled along," Michael commented. Kdin threw a fry at him, but he was miraculously able to catch it in his mouth. Everyone applauded him for his spontaneous skill. Michael bowed in his seat as he chewed. Everyone snacked in silence for the most part, trying to restore their energy for the next round.

"Look, Michael, there's a little arcade," Gavin said, pointing in the other direction. Michael looked across and saw the flashing lights and faint music of video games. 

"Wanna check it out?"

Gavin nodded and took Michael's hand. "We'll meet you back out on the ice," Michael promised. The three nodded, wrapping up their food wrappers.

They found themselves emerged in a mini arcade, with classic racing games, numerous claw games, joystick games, and pinball machines. Michael was pulled to the racing ones while Gavin had his nose pressed a claw machine. 

"Michael, look at it!" Gavin said, having Michael turn his head. Inside there were many stuffed animals, but one that stuck out to him. A little cow. "Ryan would love it!"

"He already has, like, ten million Edgars!" Michael replied, "What makes you think he'd want another?"

"Because of the fact that he has, like, ten million!" Gavin replied, to which Michael considered and pulled out a dollar. It would give them two tries, one each. Michael went first, aligning the tiny claw over the stuffed toy. Gavin checked from other angles to assure the best possible outcome, and nodded. Michael hit the button and watched the claw soar over the toy. It picked it up, but it dropped before it could reach the exit. 

"Dammit!" Michael yelled, actually with a bit caution since there were kids around. "Gavin, you gotta do it!"

They switched places, with Gavin handling the joystick. Michael checked from all angles, giving directions to Gavin. When he was convinced they had it, the timer ran out, but not before Gavin accidentally nudged it off. 

"GAVIN!" Michael screamed, "We had it! You screwed it up!" 

As Michael raged around, Gavin reached into the machine, pulling out the toy. Michael stopped venting mid word, staring at the toy and then to Gavin.

"How the fuck did that happen?" he asked. 

Gavin shrugged his shoulders. "Who knows!"

Michael took the Edgar and put it in his pocket. It would likely sit alongside all its siblings on Ryan's bed, or possibly join the shelf of Edgars. They went back on the ice and met up with the trio, where they found Kdin skating all by himself. They cheered for him, which only distracted him and sent him down. The four of them helped him back on his feet and continued circling the rink. They soon tired again and decided to call it a day. They hit their goal, Michael saying that Kdin unlocked the achievement of ice skating. They all promised to do it again soon before getting in their cars and driving home.

"That was so much fun!" Michael commented once they were in the car. 

"I loved it a lot! I got to hold your hand a lot," Gavin said, making Michael blush. 

"Yeah, that was the absolute best part," Michael said, taking Gavin's hand once again. They drove home, only letting go so Michael could drive. The moment Michael got out of the car, Gavin ran around so he could hold his hand again. He never wanted to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought y'all deserved an easy read after that span of angst :D
> 
> I want to thank you all for 1500 incredible hits on this story, I feel so blessed. <3
> 
> I wrote a Ryan/Gavin story this week, you should totally read it if you haven't yet! It's called _root beer cookies_ check out my profile for it!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who made me smile this week; if you follow me on Twitter or Tumblr you've seen me being sad and mopey and part of that was because I've been sick all week. But I'm headed off soon to see a movie so I'll be laughing tonight and that's what I really need.
> 
> Also! I've begun the planning stages of my next big project! It's estimated to run the course of the Fall 2015 semester (for college!!) and I'm extremely excited. I'm planning it to be my July Camp NaNoWriMo/August Amtrak Adventure* (AAA (ayyyyy)) project so it'll be written over the summer and edited throughout the rest of 2015. :) Its working ~mystery~ title is "POP" so if you see me talking about that, this is what it's about, lol
> 
> Also...................prep yourself for next week's chapter ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah
> 
> *I'm taking the Amtrak (American train system if you don't know) from small teeny CT to Austin, TX for RTX this year! The entire train trip will take about a week (not including the convention itself) so I'll be needing something to do. I mean, from Chicago to Austin alone is 28 hours one way :3c not including the 17 hour trips or anything else like that. I'll be bust typing away c:


	17. these are the eyes and the lies of the taken, these are their hearts but their hearts don’t beat like ours, they burn ‘cause they are all afraid [when mine beats twice as hard]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - The World is Ugly by My Chemical Romance
> 
> (this is probably the longest title I've used yet)
> 
> Italics mean flashback! Yay!

The end of February approached very quickly. Work flew by, even giving them a week off in February. They spent it home, relaxing and rarely leaving the other's side. Considering the dark space they were in barely two months ago, that tear healed stronger than ever. Michael could barely remember why he was so furious while Gavin never holds it against him. They still bickered once and again, but it was normally on whose turn it was to go grocery shopping. And, more often than not, they ended up deciding to go together. 

One day, after work, the snow was just beginning to melt as March approached. It didn't guarantee that the snow would stop for the season, but Gavin appreciated not having to wear his heaviest coat to work that day. Michael was working next to Gavin, swiveling around in the rolling chair. Gavin typed away on his project, which, ultimately turned into a novel. He explained that a show was becoming increasingly impossible to write, so he switched his format and was finding success. Gavin only occasionally stopped to sip some water but his mind was on a one way track and couldn't be derailed. 

Michael, on the other hand, was a bit scatterbrained. He was finding how many of his students found the class to be a joke, so him swearing under his breath was just a new habit. Gavin would snicker as Michael created new combinations every time he graded a test.

"You turd nugget, how the hell did you get this wrong?" "No, no! Goddamn crapper dick." "You idiotic, fuckin' pineapple." _"You gosh darn fuckwad."_ Gavin would jot them down in a separate document he kept open when he worked with Michael, just to read back to him later on when he cooled down.

"Gavin, you have a second?" Michael asked, tapping him on the shoulder. Gavin held a finger up, asking him to wait. He typed for a few more minutes, writing down what was in his mind so he wouldn't forget. "What's up?"

"Remember in Chinese how there's different names for different family members, depending on their age and shit?"

Gavin thought and nodded, remembering the struggle he had learning them all. "Well, we learned that, like, a month ago and I just tested it yesterday. They've gotta be making this shit up."

Michael showed him some papers, explaining in great, historic detail why each kid was wrong. Gavin nodded along, giving Michael the attention. He found the mistakes hilarious but knew if he laughed, the situation would be a million times worse. As Michael went on and on, his mind couldn't help but to wander a little bit. He racked the dusty corners of his brain, trying to recollect words in Chinese. With Michael talking with so much passion for his kids, it in turn made Gavin crank his language gears into full throttle.

Michael finally took a deep breath. "I just want them to do so well. They have so much potential. I hope they know that." He tossed the paper back on the pile, resting his head on his hand. 

"Hey Michael?" Gavin asked, butterflies rising in his stomach.

"Yeah?" Michael replied, not looking at him.

"Remember how Ray and Dan adopted a kid?"

Michael replied with a weak "yeah", a little wiped out from his venting.

"And you know how Geoff and Griffon adopted a kid?" 

Michael gave the same reply. 

"I...well, 我想一个孩子."

Michael nearly fell out of his chair, he jerked up so badly. "You- what, holy shit first off, you actually remembered the measure word and,..did you really say you want a kid?" He shot his head towards Gavin. "Are you serious?" 

"Yeah," Gavin said. "I mean, we both really do like kids and want them. And it's a lot easier for same sex couples to adopt these days. I think we'd be the best parents this side of the Earth."

Michael's eyes filled up and spilled out as he stood to tackle Gavin. He landed right in his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck and giving him the Kiss of the Year. "This would be incredible," he whispered. 

Gavin held him as tight as he could muster. They sat in silence for a moment, Michael resting against Gavin's shoulder. They let their decision settle inside of them, with Gavin's butterflies dying down. 

"You're going to be such a great parent, Gavin David Free."

Gavin tilted Michael's chin towards his for a kiss. When they broke apart, Gavin replied, "And you're going to be an even better parent, Michael Vincent Jones.

-

A few days later, Matt and Kdin walked into the library to settle in for lunch. Jeremy and Gavin were already sitting at a table, with no Michael in sight. 

"Is Michael okay?" Matt asked, pulling up a chair. "I haven't seen him around."

"Ah, he has a bit of a stomach bug," Gavin explained, "He just took the day to be safe. That, and he needed a bit of a break fro his kids."

"Yeah, I can usually hear the hell that is across the hall," said Jeremy, "It's just 'cause he's a first year teacher, though. Discipline will soon kick in for him and he can shut them up."

"Actually, though, there's somethin' we wanna tell you guys," Gavin mentioned. "He said it was okay for me to tell you."

"What's goin' on, Gav?" Kdin asked, the slightest tint of worry in his voice.

"We're planning to adopt a baby."

Somehow, the three of them made more noise than the kids did after school. They hollered in excitement for Gavin and Michael. Gavin got them to calm down by saying how Michael could probably hear them back home. 

"What's your plan?" Jeremy begged to know. 

"We want to adopt domestically, and we're getting help from one of our friends who's already gone through the system," Gavin explained. "We're flexible with age and such."

"Oh my god, you're growing up!" Matt teased, earning a few mocking laughs. They chattered on and on until a particular assistant principal came in and scolded the teachers for disrupting a few nearby classes. They weren't marked up, but they still felt a bit bad. Once the principal left, they giggled about it. 

Gavin brought the three of them over after school to see Michael and congratulate. Michael was just telling Geoff and asking for his help when they all came inside. Geoff's heart was full of excitement for his former student and friend, and having even more people to be eager with made the afternoon even more fun. Nothing could compare to this feeling other than when Geoff was able to being Lindsay home for the first time. 

"Let me hook you up with my social worker, he made everything super easy for us and I know he'd do the same for you," Geoff explained, quickly running upstairs to get his card. Michael saw the trio and they almost tackled him with hugs. 

"Friendly reminder: I'm still sick!"

They backed off but still sent him all their best wishes and joy. As they were chatting, Geoff came back downstairs with the card. Michael took it and felt even more thrilled.

"His name is Michael, too!" 

Gavin chucked at his boyfriend and read the card. "Michael Burns."

"Once you get friendly enough, he also goes by Burnie. We sometimes will get coffee together, still. He's such a great man," Geoff told them. "I'd make an appointment soon, though, since he tends to be very busy."

Michael did such and was able to make an appointment for two weeks from then. Gavin gave Michael a kiss for getting them a date and didn't even mind the risk of being sick. Michael offered to order in some food for everybody, so akin to the picnic they had for Ryan and Jack's engagement, they all sat around and ate Chinese food out of the containers while watching a movie. Michael only wished that Ryan could be there with everybody to celebrate. They hadn't had a good time to sit down and talk about it yet. Michael sent him a quick text to see if he'd be up for coffee tomorrow afternoon. Ryan sent back an "absolutely! :D" and Michael couldn't wait. He set his phone down and picked up the chopsticks again. 

-

_"Hey, Ryan?"_

_Michael was stretched out on his back, gazing up at the sky. Their New Jersey suburb didn't allow for the most amount of stars to appear, but there were just enough for them. Michael curled into his hoodie, thankfully loaned by Ryan, as a breeze rolled through._

_"Yeah, Michael?"_

_"What's next?"_

_Ryan laughed and pulled a hand through his hair. He was growing it out a bit. He let his sparkling blue eyes look up as well. "Who the fuck knows?"_

_"Rye, I'm serious. Senior year is coming up."_

_"We literally left junior year not even 8 hours ago."_

_Michael punched Ryan in the shoulder. "You know what I mean. Senior year is a big thing! College..."_

_"Hey, don't you worry about college," Ryan firmly said, "Your grades are incredible. You could go nearly anywhere you wanted to go."_

_Michael's stomach twisted._ "But I want to be with you..." _he thought._

_"Do you know where you want to go?" Michael whispered._

_"Hell no," Ryan replied. "I barely know what to do with myself tomorrow, much less this time next year. I'm taking it day by day."_

_"But what if that doesn't work? What if you wake up and boom! It's January and everyone is talking about acceptance letters and you're still stuck in this moment?" Michael asked._

_"But what if it does?"_

_That shut Michael up. He moved closer to Ryan, resting on his hip. Ryan had been hugging his knees but stretched out so Michael could rest on him. Michael sighed in contentment as he soon felt Ryan's fingers through his hair._

_"We should make a pact," Ryan suggested._

_"What's that?"_

_"Once we find schools that we like, we strive our hardest to go to them," Ryan explained, "But we have the same backup, so in case all else fails, we can still be together another four years."_

_"I'm in," Michael said, not even thinking about it. Ryan smiled into the night, his heart warming him up. They soon took turns trying to find different constellations and failing miserably. All it did was make them laugh, letting the school year they just had wither away into the cosmos. It wasn't long before they decided to go back inside, watch cartoons in bed, and fall asleep._

_And it wasn't long before they had chosen their favorite schools, agreed on their backup, and secretly changed what they considered to be important in a university._

\--

Michael invited Ryan out for coffee so he could explain the next chapter of his life. He was nervous, if only because it would mean they wouldn't have the space to be roommates anymore. They had been inseparable for so long that not being together seemed foreign. 

Ryan ordered himself a large mug of coffee and a few muffins while Michael stuck with a cup of tea. He admittedly picked and ate half of one of Ryan's muffins over the course of the conversations.

"I have somethin' to tell you," Michael asked in between bites of muffin.

"What's up? Is everything okay?" Ryan's face went south extremely quickly.

"Everything is incredible," Michael smiled. "Gavin and I were talking recently about something and...well, we're planning to adopt a child, together."

Ryan nearly dropped his coffee mug. His eyes welled with emotions and he had to cover his dropped mouth. Michael couldn't see it, but there was the largest smile underneath his hands.

"That's amazing. Michael!" Ryan got up and squeezed his best friend. Michael was beaming as he hugged Ryan back. They held each other for a few minutes until they noticed exactly how many people were staring. They settled back down for Ryan to ask a multitude of questions. Michael explained they would talk with Geoff seeing as he was able to adopt relatively easily. He explained how they didn't mind the age or gender of the child they would be able to get, as long as they weren't a complete and total hellraiser. "We can tolerate a good amount, but nothing like the Spawn of Satan." He explained how they were planning to domestically adopt rather than internationally adopt.

"And," Michael continued, "It means...we kind of need the bedroom, when everything settles down."

Ryan's heart twisted but he knew it was necessary. "I mean, Jack and I are getting married, so I do want to live with him. Damn, the Reign of Roommates is shutting its book, huh?" Ryan's stomach felt funny. 

"Yeah, but, we have a couch and we're gonna have a kid that's gonna love their Uncle Rye Bread and beg for him to stay the night."

Ryan's smile grew right back in as he heard the sound. "I'm so, so, so happy for you, Mikey."

"Thank you for supporting me this whole time. And I really mean whole time. From the day we met to this very moment and everything in between. You've been nothing but loving and nurturing even when I didn't really deserve it."

Ryan raised his mug to that, so Michael cheered with him. "And, if you ever feel worried, or nervous, or it's 3 in the morning and you're freaking out, I don't care where I live. I'll come over and help you through it. Nothing changes this dynamic. You're my best friend and I love you," Ryan spilled. 

"I love you too, Ryan."

They went on to discuss logistics and think of varying, cute themes if Michael and Gavin were to be paired with a small infant. Ryan, naturally, suggested cows which Michael didn't completely rule out. He texted Gavin under the table, explaining the good news. 

Everything felt like it was finally falling into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually apologize a little bit I felt this was kinda rushed but shit happens right
> 
> Thanks to everyone who made me smile this week c: 
> 
> My twitter - @michael_kyan  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	18. don't know how i lived without you, 'cause every time that i get around you, i see the best of me inside your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title -Smile by Uncle Kracker (aka the only country song I actually listen to lol

Michael and Gavin took the ride into the city to meet with their adoption agency. They had already sent in an application, so now it was time to meet with their caseworker. Geoff had only sung praises, so they weren't too nervous. Michael did catch Gavin playing with his shirt a little bit.

“You alright?” Michael asked, taking Gavin’s hand into his own.

“What if we’re not good enough, and they deny us?” Gavin asked, his voice slightly cracking. Michael squeezed his hand and told him not to worry until there was something to worry about. Gavin nodded and they resumed sharing headphones, but now Michael was the one doing the worrying.

-

They walked upstairs to a little nook on the third floor of office buildings. It wasn't the prettiest of New York, but it was safe and, once they got inside, extremely inviting. Gavin suggested they do some more advertising, but as he wrapped up his thoughts, they were lead into an office.

“Hello! My name is Mr. Burns, but for the love of god, you can call me Burnie,” said the man. Michael and Gavin shook Burnie’s hand and took a seat, ready to begin the process.

They were asked a variety of questions, already answered on their application but some needed to be clarified. They talked about their gender experience, mentioning specific dates with injections and surgeries, just, again, for clarification purposes. Michael loved looking around the room when Burnie was just typing. There was a window pouring sun beams inside, plus lots of frames of Burnie’s achievements and kids. It really felt secure that he enjoyed his line of work.

“Alrighty, nothing is stopping you two yet,” Burnie said, turning away from the monitor. “From here, we have two steps before talking specific children. First, we need to complete a 'homestudy'. That’s just going to be us having lots of meetings, interviews, and training sessions. It’s time consuming and taxing, but it weeds out families that aren't committed enough, you know? It gives us a fuller picture of you two, too. From there, we have a full, written report of you as a prospective family. After that, we have some more training to do out of this agency. The homestudy is through the state, but then we have our own training, making sure you know your stuff. After all that, we can talk kids. Does that sounds good?”

“For that homestudy thing, are we allowed to see what you say about us?” Gavin asked.

“Of course. You’re even welcome to add your own comments. It’s just the legalities before it gets serious. It’s just time consuming.”

They both grinned and Michael said it would be no problem. Gavin agreed, and they began setting up dates to do the various tasks. They would be able to wrap the entire thing up near the end of their spring break. After that, they could start the agency training and such.

-

Later that afternoon, Gavin and Michael walked in the door, Gavin swinging the key loop on his finger. Michael had called Geoff and Griffon just before they got in to have them down for an impromptu game night to commemorate their first meeting with their social worker. Michael was kicking his shoes off when he saw Geoff and screamed. Gavin looked up, still swinging his keys, only to have his finger stop moving and the keys to fly across the room.

Geoff's mustache was gone.

"GEOFF WHY?!" Michael cried, going over and tentatively feeling his face. He had never seen Geoff without a mustache, even in photos. Gavin nearly fainted.

"You guys are changing, Ryan and Jack are changing, hell, I needed a change!" Geoff explained, Griffon laughing behind him. "Plus, she was getting a bit tired of it."

"Thanks a lot, Griffon," Michael spat with sarcasm. Griffon flipped him off as Gavin turned their game system on, wanting to relax a bit. Everyone decided to join in, each person having a controller. Soon, they were immersed in their magical world. Geoff got a phone call not even five minutes into the game, to which everybody sighed when he answered.

"What? Hey. Yeah, that's fine. You have your key? Okay, we're downstairs with Gav and Michael if you need us. Love you." Geoff hung up the phone and chucked it across the room to the other couch.

"Lindsay?" Griffon asked, unpausing the game.

"Yeah," Geoff answered. "They're working on their project with Monty and asked if their other friends could come over to work, too. I said it was fine, so there's gonna be, like, five kids up there."

"Who's driving them?" Griffon pressed.

"Very likely Monty's parental figure. I...didn't ask."

Griffon paused and took her phone out, and had to shush everyone for complaining.

"Hey kid, who's driving everyone? Hmm...I don't know about that. I've never met her. I don't mind coming to get you." Everyone silently screamed and made hand gestures to say that _they_ minded. Griffon flipped them all off this time and hung up. "They said their friend is old enough to drive but I'm hesitant on that one. I'm gonna go get them, be back in 15."

Griffon got her jacket and left, leaving the three men defeated. Michael suggested that they just start over but Geoff felt funny continuing without his wife. They instead pulled out a random board game and, unintentionally, got really into it. And of all games they chose, they picked Monopoly. Michael and Gavin played one against one while Geoff was the banker. It felt as if they blinked before they heard all the pitter patters of teenagers in the room.

"Hey everyone," Lindsay greeted. "These are my friends Kara, Barbara, and Arryn. Guys, this is Michael and Gavin, my downstairs neighbors and essentially uncles, and Geoff, my dad-ish figure."

Geoff was the only one who waves as Michael and Gavin were in the zone. "They say hi, too," Geoff explained. "Welcome, we live upstairs, so make yourself at home. Don't steal _all_ our food, though."

They said thank you and made their way to the staircase. Griffon settled back on the couch, prepared to continue their game, but she could tell that that wasn't happening. Instead, she fully enjoyed watching the three of them play their game. She especially love every time someone accused Geoff of counting wrong. Geoff claimed that he was being honest; after all, he was the official owner of Geoff's Bank and Mercantile and had a reputation to uphold. Gavin called bullshit to that but it didn't stop them from moving on around the board. Michael landed in jail numerous time, each time with him getting more upset. Griffon eventually just started taping it with her cell phone, recording all their movements and audio. She was lucky she started when she did, especially since she was able to tape Michael tackling Gavin, knocking all the pieces over. No one could remember where each piece was meant to be, so they called it a draw.

Beyond that, the night was very simple. Each couple cuddled on the couch, immersed in the movie and the sounds above their heads of teenagers. Before either pair knew it, they were fast asleep in the dark.

-

An afternoon rolled around where Griffon was babysitting her nephew and niece. Griffon invited Geoff out to the park to play with them, to which he invited Michael and Gavin because he wasn't as thrilled as his wife. Michael and Gavin took their car over to their favorite park. The trees were beginning to bud, peeks of leaves signaling the end of winter. The sky was cerulean except for some white streaks, with the sun turning the grass from its sickly tan to a lively green.

The group found a playground for the kids and Geoff, Gavin, and Michael found a bench. They watched Griffon play with the kids, running around and trying to keep up with their energy.

"She's in great shape," Geoff sighed, saying what everyone was thinking. "I love seeing her like this."

"With small kids?" Gavin clarified.

Geoff nodded. "She was beyond thrilled to adopt Lindsay, but I know deep down she wanted a baby baby. She will occasionally bring it up to me, but we don't have the space. Once we earn enough, we can move, and maybe can pick up another little bugger."

"That sounds perfect for you, Geoff," Michael added, "From the outside, you look like some scary biker dude because of your tats, but you have the compassion of a saint. You should totally do it."

Geoff smirked and turned back to his wife. She was pushing the kids on the swings, trying to have them at the same momentum. She looked to the bench and had the kids wave. The three waved back, Gavin being the most enthusiastic. Once they fell into a silence, Gavin pulled his phone out and typed away. No one questioned his motif until he cheered unusually loudly.

"It's done!" he cried, giving Michael a surprise hug. Michael was startled, but then he figured out what he had finished.

"Your book!"

Michael pulled Gavin up to give him a better hug, letting his arms squish into his back. Gavin gave him a kiss on the neck, overjoyed to be done with the first draft. Geoff gave him a slap on the back once they sat back down.

"How long is it?" Geoff asked.

"Let's see...the draft is about 155 pages, it's a short novel. It's also kinda a novella. I'm so excited!"

"You wrote it so fast!" Michael exclaimed.

"You'd be surprised how much time I get during the day. Once I get the work done, it's mostly making sure the library is a safe space. Plus, I got some kids wrapped around my finger and can organize the books for me."

"You're so lazy," Geoff sighed.

"Hey, writing is really hard! I'd like to see you try."

"Oh please, like that's actually any good."

"Alright, alright, calm down boys," Michael intervened. "We don't need the adults here to cause a scene, that's what kids are for."

Gavin felt a bit wounded from Geoff's comment and squeezed Michael's hand to let him know. Michael could tell the tension rose too much and excused the two of them to take a walk. He knew of a small trail nearby that would be a nice spot to decompress.

"You doing alright?" Michael asked once they were further away.

"Geoff didn't mean it but that still hurt like hell," Gavin mumbled. "I don't know, I guess I'm oversensitive about it since it's my first one."

"That's reasonable, just tell him how you felt when you get back. You know he's gonna be the first one to buy your book, right?"

Gavin giggled. "Yeah, that's true."

Michael and Gavin continued walking, Gavin feeling much better with each step. They marveled in the new life of the trees, each hoping to themselves that they never fell down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tfw I wrote this chapter around the time Geoff shaved his mustache rip
> 
> Wow this week was wild. I'm so happy to be home in bed now <3
> 
> Sorry if any of this seemed awkward the transitions in this feel off to me but [shrugs]
> 
> Thank you to everyone who made me smile this week <3
> 
> Oh, also, I changed my Twitter handle to maniac_messiah because most of my social media is that lol
> 
> get hyped for next week
> 
> My twitter - @maniac_messiah  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	19. 说一千遍爱你, 这都不是问题

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - 公主病 by 周杰伦 (Princess Syndrome by Jay Chou)
> 
> *Translated from Mandarin: "to say i love you a thousand times is no problem"

April break was a very, very special time. 

Michael and Gavin didn't do anything remarkably special. They hung out with friends for most of the week, in addition to wrapping up their homestudy. It was more intense than either had planned primarily from time consumption along with trying to balance it with their loving jobs and regular housework, so they took a small trip to a beach for the last few days. They packed up the car, rented a cheap hotel, and made their way to a pleasant little beach a state over. Since the weather was so warm so early in the season, it only felt right to celebrate in it.

After driving about an hour, they rolled up to their home away from home and unpacked their bags. The room that they rented wasn't in the best of shape, but it wasn't horribly disgusting either. Gavin stretched and went to take a quick shower while Michael rested on the bed. Michael wasn't able to rest for long, though, since Gavin screamed at the top of his lungs. 

"What is it?!" Michael asked, bolting into the bathroom. Gavin went and hid behind Michael, explaining there was something in the shower. Michael went over and peeked in, seeing a small, deep green thing in the corner. 

"What the fuck is that?" Michael asked, more curious than afraid. "Gavin, go find me a stick. I wanna poke it."

Gavin was gagging as he found something to use. He found the snow brush out of his car and brought it in for Michael to use. Michael flipped it around and poked at the mystery object. "Well, if it was once alive, it really isn't now," Michael explained. Gavin was near vomiting into the sink. 

"It looks..." Michael mumbled, poking it again. "It looks like an avocado."

"It does?" Gavin asked in between heavy breaths. Gavin turned to see Michael nod, continuing to jab it. "Oh god, Gavin, get your shit, we need to get the fuck outta here."

Gavin didn't even question why as Michael dropped the brush and jolted out of the room. They took their bags and as Gavin sat in the car, Michael explaining the problem to the receptionist and asking for their deposit back. They then drove around the general area, looking for a better place to stay.

"What happened?" Gavin asked once his stomach calmed down. 

"Maggots. And lots of mold."

Gavin rolled the window down and gagged again, which only caused Michael to giggle just a bit. Eventually, they found another cheap place to stay that was avocado free. Gavin finally was able to take his shower while Michael took his nap. Where they were then was actually closer to a beach, so they felt a little blessed.

They took towels and a large beach bag down to the shore, where many others had the same idea as them. After wandering around, they found a little clearing, with some trees as canopies. They spread their towels down and let the sun warm up their winter skin. Michael rested on Gavin's shoulder, pretending that it was summer and that there wasn't an impending doom of going back to work. It was just them and the sand.

After snuggling for so long, Michael started growing too warm and invited Gavin into the water. Gavin couldn’t say no to that, so they both went down to the waves. They mostly cooled down by letting their feet be immersed in the chilly ocean. They did become competitive by skipping rocks and counting how many skips they could get out of one stone. Michael got up to six, but at the last minute, Gavin was able to pull out seven. Michael admitted defeat and went back up the beach, going to get something out of his bag. 

As the sand stuck to his feet as he walked, he played with his hands just a little bit from some nerves. Gavin soon trailed behind him, holding a seashell. Gavin noticed that Michael had pulled something from the depths of the bag and shoved it in his pocket. Gavin disregarded it and instead gave him the shell as a little gift. Michael smiled and accepted it, and before he could talk himself out of it, he got on one knee, shocking the hell out of Gavin. He didn’t even have time to speak before Michael began talking.

“Gavin, you complete me. The only person who even comes closer to my love for you would be Ryan, and that can’t even begin to describe how much love I feel for you. The time we were apart was horrid and I didn’t even realize until I was back in your arms. Even when we fight, there’s no place I’d rather be. And, hell, we’re having a kid together. There’s no one in the entire world I’d rather spend the rest of my life with. And, considering you’ve done lots of the asking these past months, it’s my turn.” Michael reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. “So, Gavin, will you marry me?”

Gavin laughed and tackled Michael to the sand, laying on top of him to kiss him. They were connected for so long that Michael soon tasted a bit of salt on the corners of his mouth. They parted and Gavin had tears rolling down his face. 

“Yes.”

Michael’s eyes welled up too, pulling him back down for another kiss. He didn’t even mind the bits of burning sand on his neck or the weight of Gavin beginning to crush him because he was engaged. 

“This is the greatest day of my life,” Gavin mumbled against Michael’s lips.

“Even though we saw the avocado?”

Gavin leaned to the side, upset with the memory. Michael pushed Gavin off as he rolled over, holding his stomach in laughter. Gavin eventually got back up and sat Michael up, pulling on his hands. Michael sat up, sitting cross legged in the sand. He took Gavin’s hand and slipped a beautiful silver band onto his left ring finger. 

“It’s so beautiful, Michael,” Gavin cooed.

“Only the best for you.”

Gavin lied back down on the towels, inviting Michael back to how they were before. Michael curled right back up, lazily playing with the ring on Gavin’s finger. As they were dozing off, Gavin asked something. 

“Is this why Ryan asked me for my ring size?”

“...maybe,” Michael admitted. “He may have also had the idea for us to take a tiny vacation.”

-

Michael and Gavin came back from their weekend wrapped around the other's finger. Literally. 

Their trip back included stopped at their favorite fast food joint to celebrate themselves. Over their meal of grease and sugar, they divvied up their friends into who would tell who. Michael would tell Ryan, Gavin would tell Geoff, and they would, together, tell Matt, Jeremy, and Kdin. After eating, they admitted they didn't need to divide their friends, since it was obvious, but they blamed low blood sugar for a judgement lapse. 

They rode back into their city and hopped up the steps to the front door. Before unlocking the door, Michael took Gavin's hand and slid the ring off. Gavin whined from the sudden chill on his finger, but Michael promised to keep it warm for when it came back. He slid his own off and took his keys out of his pocket. 

"We're home!" Michael called, seeing Ryan and Jack cuddling on the couch. "Whatcha watching?"

"Cartoons," Jack answered, hitting pause to help his friends with their bags. Michael and Gavin took a moment to throw their dirty clothes in a bag for their next trip to the laundromat. While they were in their room, they spoke softly.

"When do you wanna tell 'em?"

"When Jack leaves, for me," Michael insisted, "Then you can go up and tell the Ramseys, if they're home?"

Gavin nodded in agreement, holding his fist out for a fist bump. Michael snickered and returned the bump before running back outside to put the clothes in the car. Gavin struck up a conversation with Jack and Ryan, talking about all the fun things they had seen out by the bay. He talked about the avocado in the shower, nearly gagging as he retold the story. Michael walked in just as he heard the first gag, and laughed since he knew _exactly_ what Gavin was talking about.

Jack then excused himself to head out, giving Ryan a peck on the lips and waving goodbye to the other couple. Ryan wished, sometimes, that he could go home with him and be his roommate, but once he saw Michael, he felt better. Michael looked at Gavin, ever so slightly raising an eyebrow, and Gavin knew where he was destined. 

"I'm gonna go let Geoff know we're back, and let him know about the avocado," Gavin said, skipping upstairs. 

"Was he fucking around with that?" Ryan asked Michael once the door had shut. "Did that really happen?"

"Yeah, I can't explain it either. It was a sketchy place from the start, though. The place we stayed after was better. Still probably loads of semen on the sheets, but no moldy fruits."

Michael sat next to Ryan, nearly melting into the couch. He leaned against Ryan's shoulder, his eye fluttering shut for a moment. Ryan loved having his best friend home again; it felt whole. Michael likes feeling the rise and fall of Ryan’s shoulder, despite it not being the most comfortable cushion. Ryan then switched his position, wrapping his arm around Michael and having him rest on the top of his chest instead. Michael smiled and right in, feeling safe in the embrace of his best friend. 

Out of nowhere, a very loud, very high pitched scream had come from upstairs. It jerked Ryan up, but Michael stayed subdued. Ryan turned to Michael, awaiting an answer.

"Looks like Geoff heard the news," Michael said, crossing his arms. He looked up to Ryan, smirking. Ryan's head was turning, searching for an answer. It wasn't until Michael held his hand out, showing a faint sunburned mark on his ring finger. "He said yes."

It was Ryan's turn to scream this time, nearly picking Michael up off the couch and holding him, unable to find words. Michael just held on and teared up a little bit as Ryan finally whispered “you made it” into his ear.

-

Michael and Gavin created a perfect plan on how to tell their school friends of their engagement. 

They had one last afternoon of spring break, so they invited them out for a round of mini golf. The trio accepted and they rendezvoused at an 18 hole course within the half hour. Michael and Gavin wore coordinating outfits; Michael wearing the same color shorts as Gavin's shirt and vise versa. This was one of the first times they ever did something like this, so hopefully it would spark a little conversation. 

"Hey guys! How was the beach?" Matt asked, walking over to them.

"If you just looked at Gavin's nose, you could tell it was hot," Jeremy shot back, pointing to the redness of Gavin. Gavin covered his nose, sticking his tongue out at Jeremy. Michael paid for everybody, with Gavin getting a purple ball and Michael a yellow one - complimentary colors. 

They began their game with nobody noticing the colors. Michael and Gavin suspected as much, so they had a backup, if-all-else-fails plan for the very end of the course. In the meantime, they enjoyed gentle taps of the putters to try and get hole-in-ones. By the time they finished the seventeenth hole, Gavin was in first place, followed by Matt, Michael, Jeremy, and Kdin bringing up the rear.

The last hole came around, Hole 18. This one was shaped like a dart board, with three different holes. The top one added -1 to you score, the middle added -2 to your score, and the bulls eye added -3 and a free round of golf for one. If you missed, there was no change in score. The five of them were the only ones around, so they were silent as the shooter concentrated. Michael hit and got -2, Gavin missed, Matt got a free game and Jeremy got -2. As Kdin was lining up his shot, Gavin nodded to Michael.

As Kdin swung his arms back, Gavin and Michael yelled at the top of their lungs.

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!"

Kdin looked back but still swung, completely overshooting and sending his ball flying into the parking lot. "You're what?!"

Michael and Gavin pulled their rings out again, sliding them back on their hands. "Thank god we've told everybody," Michael quickly mentioned. "I hate having mine off."

They were nearly thrown to the concrete when Jeremy caught them in a hug. Matt gave them super congratulations, and when Kdin came back from fetching his golf ball, he congratulated them, too. They offered to take them out for dinner to celebrate, to which they happily accepted. They went to a local, casual sit down and ordered what could only felt like endless appetizers. They snacked on these rather than getting full meals. 

"You guys are going to be family, so we should have a family style meal," the trio justified. Michael rolled his eyes scoffed at what they said. He wrapped his arm around Gavin’s shoulders and looked into his eyes.

"We've always been family."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D :D :D
> 
> Thanks to everyone who made me smile this week~
> 
> My twitter - @maniac_messiah  
> My tumblr - @maniacmessiah


	20. lay us down, we're in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - The End of All Things by Panic! at the Disco
> 
> I'm saying it rn that I barely edited so sorry lmao

After returning to work with a fresh and happy mind, Michael and Gavin were in the best spot they could possibly be. They finished their homestudy so that was squared away, and they also finished the agency training after a few meetings. Their brains felt a bit fried, but they knew it was all for a greater purpose. It was for _their child_ so they were ready to jump through every hoop to bring them home.

They were relaxing one afternoon, mid-May, doing some light wedding planning on the couch. Their legs were toasty underneath a blanket as they were picking out gifts for their registry. Most of what they saw they already had since they were already living together, but they decided to both replace some things and choose some more luxury items that were a bit pricer that they wouldn't buy themselves. It was their wedding, after all.

"Do you have a day in mind?" Gavin asked at one point. "Like, or a season, even?"

Michael thought for a moment. "I don't think I do yet. I mean, I kinda want it to be this year, but I also want to coordinate if we get matched this year, too. I think it'd be really special for our child to be there."

"Mmm, I agree," Gavin said, pressing a kiss onto Michael's hair. Michael smiled and pointed to what looked like a compact blender when his phone started vibrating. He saw it was from Burnie.

"Hello? Yep, it's Michael. Yeah, yeah-you, what, you do? Holy shit, I, are you sure. Holy shit. Fuck! Sorry for swearing I'm just...okay, yeah, we'll be there tomorrow afternoon. Thank you so much." 

Michael hung up the phone and nearly burst into tears. 

"We got a match."

Gavin's smile grew to each corner of his face. "Really?!"

"He said that we couldn't talk about it today since he was about to leave, but that he had a free slot tomorrow to talk. Holy shit, Gavin!"

Gavin took Michael's face and placed kisses all over the skin. From his forehead, down over his nose and eyes, then his cheeks and ending on his lips. "This feels so surreal," he whispered when they were apart. 

"Isn't it great?" MIchael whispered back. 

They vowed not to tell Ryan or anybody until things were more organized and set in stone. They tried their hardest to go back and focusing on the wedding, but the idea of them being parents floated in their minds. They shut the laptop and instead held each other, curling closer together under their blanket. When Ryan came home, he saw the two of them fast asleep, smiling as if they were dreaming. Ryan snapped a picture and went to fix himself a meal. Hearing the shuffling of Ryan’s feet stirred Michael a little, and he smiled in Ryan’s direction. He fell right back to sleep, though, since the excitement wore him out a bit.

-

Michael and Gavin could hardly contain themselves throughout the school day. They would send text messages on the hour, counting down the time until their appointment. It often annoyed Michael's students, since he refused to turn the ringer off. In retrospect, he admitted to having a poor judgement call since they were taking a test, but he made up for it by letting the kids bring in food for a party. Gavin had a bit more common sense, for once, and let his phone stay on vibrate, feeling his body illuminate with excitement with each string of emojis that would come through his device. 

Finally, finally, the last bell of the day rang and they both bolted to the car. Michael was pretty sure he was the first one out of the classroom. They got to their car in record time and blasted their happiest playlist on the way to the office. 

"I'm freaking out!" Michael exclaimed once they were on their way. He felt thankful for not driving, seeing as he was shaking a bit.

"Breathe, love!" Gavin encouraged. He couldn't help but giggle just a bit and feel fortunate for having someone feel so excited* over a child. They often had to check the meter and slow down; the last thing they needed was to be pulled over by an annoyed police officer. They still managed to make it to Burnie's office in record time. 

Just before they got out of the car, Michael froze a little bit. Gavin took his hand and asked if he was feeling alright. Michael swallowed and nodded. "Nerves finally caught up," he whispered.

Gavin reached back and pulled out his water jug, encouraging Michael to calm down a bit. Michael took hearty swigs of the liquid and got his body to regulate itself. Finally, he nodded again, feeling closer to himself. Gavin smiled and they hopped up the stairs of the building. 

Burnie took them the moment they walked in the door, them taking their usual seats. 

"So," Burnie started, typing away on his computer, "After having you two look at some names and requesting more information, we think we've found somebody for you. Now, you chose mostly toddlers, and, well, none of them fit, so far."

"Okay," Gavin said, taking Michael's hand for support. The butterflies that had gotten Michael earlier had transferred into his stomach. 

"So, not a baby, but rather a sixth grader. Miles Luna, 12 years old. He's currently in a foster home with a few other kids. Great family, thankfully, but they're not interested in permanent adoption. That's reasonable. He goes to Achieve Elementary, which is actually your district, if I know my geography right, and had a really close friend named Kerry. If you choose to meet Miles, it's a guarantee you'll be meeting Kerry, too. Both great kids, smart cookies."

Burnie turned his monitor around so they could see Miles' photo again. He had a small, chubby face and a head full of jet black hair. His smile was contagious, braces lining his teeth already, and his eyes had an indescribable shine to them. Michael looked to Gavin and asked him what he thought. 

"He looks incredible," Gavin said, "What do you think?"

"He's perfect. He matches what we’re looking for, despite being a little bit older."

"We want to meet him," they said in unison.

Burnie smiled and they set up an initial meeting date. They offered a few so they could coordinate with Miles' foster family as well. They would meet in his home so it wouldn't be a potential new family and new home right away. Michael and Gavin couldn't wait for the next call, confirming when they would meet their prospective son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this week is so short, next week is super long so it balances out!
> 
> Also next week's update is going to be super early, like when I wake up in the morning. Next Friday I graduate high school! My afternoon/evening will be jam packed so an early update it will be!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who made me smile this week (especially this week this week was challenging)~
> 
> My Twitter - @maniac_messiah  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	21. the silver of the lake at night, the hills of hollywood on fire [a boulevard of hope and dreams, streets made of desire] [part 1]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - City of Angels by 30 Seconds to Mars
> 
> *This single chapter takes place over ~a month so keep that in mind
> 
> (Sorry if it's a little rushed)

"Psst, Gavin..."

Gavin rolled around in bed, moaning as he woke up. He looked up to Michael, dressed in a salmon polo shirt and grey shorts. 

"Why're you awake?" Gavin slurred, trying to get Michael to come back to bed.

"Because we're meeting Miles today, dumbass. Get up, I'm making breakfast."

Gavin jolted up and looked at the clock. Sure enough, he had overslept and now was risking eating on the road. He found a pair of black shorts and a striped purple shirt. He came out to see Michael working over the stove, chatting with Ryan.

"I mean, this is the most exciting thing ever," Michael said to Ryan, not noticing that Gavin had came out of the bedroom. Gavin stood next to the door, eavesdropping. 

"You're making those eggs for yourself then, yes?" Ryan asked. 

"Mostly for Gavin. I'm more interested in a bowl of cereal, to be honest," Michael answered, taking a sip of his coffee. 

"Have a bite of them, at least," Ryan encouraged. "Gotta get your 'tien on."

"My what?"

"Protein!"

Michael rolled his eyes and took a small bite of the scrambled eggs, suddenly wishing he had time to make a full plate for himself. 

"Ryan?" Michael asked, his voice a bit timid. 

"What's up?"

"What if Miles doesn't like us?"

Gavin's heart dropped a bit from hearing the stress. Ryan sighed and went to stand next to Michael. 

"What's not to like?" Ryan asked. "You two are the most chill adults I've ever met. You're culturally educated, you play video games, you're more or less giant twelve-year-olds yourselves. If anything, Miles will feel like he's getting two older brothers rather than two dads. And that can be pretty badass. 

Don't worry, just be yourselves and everything will fall into place."

Michael grinned and gave Ryan a side hug before scooping out the eggs onto a plate. Gavin emerged then, pecking Michael's cheek for making him such a great breakfast. Michael blushed and poured himself a bowl of Cheerios and sitting down with his friends. Just before they left, Gavin slid a few bites left of his meal towards Michael, who had been side eyeing them the entire time. Michael smiled and gobbled them up, Ryan giving Gavin a sly thumbs up from behind Michael's back.

-

They drove to Miles’ foster home, a short ten minutes from their own place. Burnie was right when he said they were in the same school district, so if Miles did become their own, he wouldn't have to leave his friends behind. Michael drove up and took in the home, a small, two family like their own. It had a pale blue finish, plenty of flowers and even a small garden out front. All windows were wide open, letting the mid-May air flow through the home. Gavin almost felt slightly guilty for pulling Miles out of what looked like a perfect home. 

"Are you ready?" Gavin asked Michael. Michael looked to Gavin and nodded. They got out of their car to see the front door open.

"Are you Mr. Jones and Mr. Free?" the small voice asked. A young girl with long, long pigtails was talking to them. 

"Yes, we are!" Gavin replied. The girl smiled and urged them to come inside. "Miles is so excited to meet you!"

"Yo, quit it!" another voice could be heard. Michael and Gavin stepped inside, seeing what looked like a child's home rather than an adult's. Varying types of toys were all over the floor, hardwood but covered with foam puzzle pieces to be soft and safe. Paint easels, a large TV with game systems, and blocks of all shapes and sizes were just the first things Michael and Gavin noticed. A few kids were playing a board game in the corner while two young boys were focused on the big screen.

"Hello!" an older voice called. A woman came out, followed by another. They came over and introduced themselves as Miles' foster parents, Meg and Ashley.

"It's an absolute pleasure to meet you," Michael said, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

"Can I offer you something to drink, coffee, perhaps?" Meg offered. They said yes and the adults moved their way to the kitchen.

"You have quite a rambunctious home!" Gavin noticed, looking where he was stepping.

"Yeah, we're really into this," Ashley laughed. "If we tried doing this twenty years ago, there's no way the state would be so letting. Thank the heavens for new laws."

"Are you two...not married?"

"Queerplatonic life partners," Meg explained. "I prefer to say Super Best Friends Raising Kids, but this one here likes formalities."

Ashley elbowed her in the side, turning back to Michael and Gavin. "So, what made you two decide to adopt?"

Michael turned to Gavin, seeing which one of them would start the conversation. "We've been dating for seven years, on and off, admittedly," Michael started. "But ever since we got back together in...September?" Michael turned to Gavin who nodded, "We know we're the ones for each other. And we're both interested in being parents, so it worked best for us."

"We live just a few blocks from here, actually. Our home is nearly identically structured to yours."

"We know where you live," Meg said. "I mean, not in a creepy sense, but we have your reports." She held up a folder of papers, documenting all their training details and information.

"Right," Gavin said. "All in all, we're not getting any younger, and it's what we've always wanted. We even talked about it a bit back in the college days, remember?"

"Yeah, a little bit! Damn, I forgot," Michael admitted. The foster parents laughed, enjoying how casual the prospective family was like. 

"So, Miles?"

"Yes, can we...meet him?" Gavin asked. 

"Just turn around and say hey!"

They turned towards the voice to see Miles standing behind them. He matched his photo to a T, except for being a little bit older and having had a haircut. His hair was shorter than in the picture, but still just as black. He wore a tee shirt advertising the newest hit movie and a pair of sweatpants. "I'm Miles," he announced, reaching his hand out. 

"Hey," Michael said, shaking the small hand. Gavin did the same, taking in all the details of the child. 

"That's Kerry over there," Miles said, pointing to the couch. A young, chubby kid was waiting for his friend to come back so they could resume their game. He wore sweatpants, too, likely a pair of Miles', and a black tee shirt. He waved timidly before begging Miles to come back to finish the round. 

"I'm just gonna finish this game real quick," Miles said, already halfway to the couch. They unpaused their game and went back to their lives a minute ago. 

Michael and Gavin smirked at each other, noting how casual he was. 

-

The next time they visited, Gavin was bringing cookies.

"What if he's allergic?" Michael asked, trying to remember the exact route to the home.

"There was nothing about it on his forms, idiot."

"What if someone else in the home is allergic?"

"Who the fuck is allergic to sugar cookies?"

"WITH OUR LUCK, THIS PLACE."

Gavin burst out laughing at Michael's sudden irritation. Michael did too a bit, taken back by his own rage. They parked the car and hopped out, being greeted by the small girl with pigtails once again. 

"Are you the doorgirl?" Gavin teased as they walked inside. She nodded her head, letting her hair fly all over. 

"Hi!" Miles called. He was just coming from the kitchen, Kerry close behind. 

"Hey!" replied the duo. "We brought you some cookies." Michael said. 

That called the attention of all the kids. It turned out that they were all allergy-free and thoroughly enjoyed sugar cookies. Gavin turned to Michael and jokingly scolded him for not liking his cookie idea. Michael played victim, dramatically blaming himself for being so foolish. It got a rise out of the smaller kids while getting more of a chuckle out of Miles and Kerry. 

"How do you like them?" Michael asked, setting the platter up on the counter. The kids cheered, one even going as far as to say they should open a bakery. They laughed in response as they sat up at the table, Ashley came in quickly, saying hi and taking a cookie. She took a bite and her eyes nearly turned to hearts.

"Have you considered opening a bakery?" she suggested. It made the group of kids giggle, and she joined in too once she got the joke. 

"Meg is upstairs if you need anything, I'm so sorry I'm in a rush today. I trust you guys," she said, before saying goodbye to the rest of the group. Miles and Kerry pulled up chairs to sit with the adults too, a bit tired from the littler kids. 

"What's your all time favorite kind of cookie?" Gavin asked them. Miles had to think about it for a moment while Kerry instantly replied with chocolate chip. Michael agreed, while Miles and Gavin shared the same - oatmeal raisin. 

"You two are so lame," Michael joked, getting them to giggle. Whilst talking, Gavin made sure to keep one eye on the conversation and another on the other kids, god forbid anything were to happen. 

"Wait! Go to question time - middle names and reasoning behind it, if you know it," Gavin said, remembering one of the first conversations he had with Michael. 

"I'll go first..." Michael said. 

They talked about their names, Miles' middle name was Antony and Kerry didn’t have one. Miles didn't know much about it, so Gavin Googled the name meanings for him. Miles and Kerry got a pretty big kick out of that, so it was worthwhile. They liked Michael's middle name more than Gavin's, to which Michael texted Ryan to brag about how twelve years old kids thought it was cool. Ryan texted back a selfie of him giving the finger. 

Unfortunately, Kerry soon had to head home, so Miles asked if it was okay to end the session. Michael and Gavin thought it was okay so they told Meg and left.

-

The next week, Michael and Gavin headed over, sans cookies. They were greeted and took their already familiar spot on the bar stools. Miles and Kerry wrapped up their game, but not before Gavin got a good look at it. 

"Is that one of the original Halo games?" he asked, squinting at the screen.

"Yeah. Original Xbox, from like, 20 years ago. Do you...want to play?" Miles asked, feeling a bit funny. 

"Yeah!"

Gavin plopped down on the couch besides him, looking to Michael for some sort of comfort. Michael pinched his nose and rolled his eyes, getting Miles to laugh and Gavin to be confused. It only made Miles crack up even more, holding his fist in front of his mouth. Gavin and Miles began playing, letting Kerry and everybody watch if they wished. Gavin proved to be a fierce competitor, but Miles wouldn't give up without a fight. He often tried getting in Gavin's way off screen to skew his vision. Gavin insisted it was cheating, but the Referee Michael call it fair game. Gavin squawked, having Miles laugh and be distracted simultaneously. 

Michael sipped coffee with Meg by his side, enjoying the sight.

"Miles is really taking a liking to you two," she said softly.

"Really?" Michael replied. 

"You know it. He has these days marked on his calendar. Don't tell him I told you that. It's great motivation for getting him to do stuff. He's still a bit hesitant and timid, and he needs Kerry by his side, but he's definitely warming up to you two. I think he's gonna be happy in your care."

Michael blushed and turned back to his fiance. He was now being beat by Miles, now trying to block the younger's vision. Hearing them laugh sent the happiest bolts of love to his heart. Michael went back to his coffee, eager for what was next.

-

The next week, Kerry was sick so it was the first visit for just the three of them. Michael offered to take them to the park, where Gavin, Geoff and himself were weeks prior. Miles' foster parents agreed, tagging along just to be super safe. They packed a picnic and brought a baseball to toss around if they were feeling up to it. Miles felt lost without Kerry by his side, but he still had his cell phone. He was texting him the details one by one, making sure he didn't miss a single thing.

The adults spread out a large checkered blanket and unpacked the large basket. Sandwiches, bags of chips, fruit salad, pasta salad and macadamia nut and white chocolate chip cookies were for them to have. Michael busted out his extra special cookie recipe for the occasion.

They ate in a bit of an awkward silence before Gavin knew how to break the ice.

"So get this," Gavin turned to Miles. "Michael here knows Mandarin Chinese."

"Oh, really?!" Miles was more with it now. "Can you say something for me?"

"你要我说什么？" Michael asked.

"...what did you say?"

"I asked you 'what would you like me to say.' Michael answered, giggling. 

"So, because this guy knows Mandarin, he was able to go to China!"

"WHAT?! No way!" Miles was fascinated. "That's so far away!"

Michael rolled his eyes. "It was pretty cool! We went to three cities over the course of a month."

"Can you tell me some stories? Please?" Miles put his phone down.

"Uh, well, I went as part of a tour. This was maybe five years ago now? The moment we got off the bus, street vendors swarmed us, begging us to buy their knock off brand merchandise. Lots of watches, if I remember correctly."

Miles' mouth was open just a bit, and Meg and Ashley were at a loss for words. Meg rolled his hand, urging Michael to tell more. 

"There was another time where we were in the city Shanghai - it's like the New York of China, with really tall skyscrapers and lights everywhere - and we went to this business building. It was over 100 stories high!"

Miles' eyes only widened, trying to conceptualize how big it was. 

"I didn't know this at the time," Michael continued, "But when you build a building that high, you have to have it move a little bit. If it's a straight building, then it could snap because of the wind. So, we're on the 100th story and when I feel it move, I turned to my friend and asked what on Earth was happening. She told me that she would tell me once we got down so I wouldn't freak out."

"What did the city look like from up there?" Miles asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"It was beautiful! You could see for...miles." Michael gave a cheesy smile while Miles scoffed and Gavin rolled his eyes. "But yeah, you could see nearly the whole city. Well, probably not, but close to. It's not even the tallest building anymore."

"Which building is the tallest now"? Miles asked, taking another bite of his sandwich. 

"The one right next to it. I think it's just called the Shanghai Building. When it was completed, it was the second tallest building in the whole world; it was over 2,000 feet high."

Miles' phone was blinking but he didn't even notice. "Did you eat any weird food?"

"I personally didn't, but I had friends who tried sea star on a stick."

Gavin gagged, setting his little bowl of fruit down. Miles asked what it tasted like, to which Michael answered crunchy. Miles suddenly felt disappointed with sandwiches when there were treats like dried seafood in the world.

"This is a fun story. We went to see the Terracotta Warriors in Xi’An, do you know about them?" 

Miles shook his head no. “Well, it’s this whole army of people made from terracotta clay. It was found in the 70’s by some local farmers and it’s basically a huge army to protect China’s first emperor in the afterlife. It was probably made back in the 200’s.”

“Whoa.”

“So we were able to visit them on our trip, me and my friends. We’re walking around the perimeter and we can see some researchers working on the statues. And then we see it - one solder is face down on some bricks, so he was totally planking.” 

The whole group laughed, Miles falling onto his side, even. Michael loved seeing him so happy, even when it involved such a random story from long ago. 

-

Their last visit was at a bowling alley. Kerry was feeling better and Miles had talking about not bowling in years. Gavin offered to pick them up after school, and Ashley tagged along, meeting them at the alley. They got there and rented some shoes, lacing up beside a lane.

"When's the last time you bowled, Gavin?" Miles asked. 

"Oh, ages ago. Maybe when I was home in England."

"I always forget that you're British!" Miles exclaimed.

"Does the accent not give it away?"

"Who's ready to kick serious butt?!" Michael yelled, joining the group with his shoes tied. He took a seat and pressed all the names into the computer. They were able to use full names, so Michael just did everyone's regular name for the first round. Once all five names were in, Miles started the round.

By the time all ten frames, Kerry was in the lead, followed by Ashley, Michael, Miles, and Gavin brought up the end. He ended up tripping over his own feet in the bowling shoes more times than they could count on their hands.

"It's like you're just learning how to walk," Ashley joked. Gavin stuck his tongue out at her, picking up a ball to start the next round. While he was on the lane, Miles whispered something in Ashley's ear.

"You do?" Ashley asked the young boy. He nodded his head, smiling a lot. "Go tell 'em."

Michael cocked his head when Miles sat down right next to him. Before, he was a more nervous to be physically close by, normally sitting a seat or two away. But with Miles right next to him, it came as a shock.

"What's up, kid? Are you ready to start counting how many times Gavin falls again?"

As Miles opened his mouth to talk, a collapse was heard. "One..." Kerry could be heard counting. Miles shook his head and got his focus back.

"I...ugh, this is hard to say. Basically, I want to be your kid."

"You-really?" Michael felt his heart swell.

"Yeah, you two are so cool. I get really excited over these visits and it would be so cool to have them everyday. So...can I be your kid?"

Michael was speechless as Gavin walked back. "Tell Gavin." Michael was able to sputter out. Miles didn't need to, instead he went over and hugged Gavin, his small arms just making it around his hips. Gavin looked at both Michael and Ashley, confused beyond words. Michael nodded enthusiastically, mouthing "he's ours."

Gavin picked him up and spun him a bit before he insisted to be put down. Gavin apologized but just explained how _delighted_ he was. 

Miles hugged him again, before going to give Michael one, too. He didn't want either dad to feel left out. Kerry gave Miles a hug, before their entire lane just felt like one giant group hug.

"This definitely calls for some ice cream," Ashley chimed in. 

"Heck yeah!" Gavin cheered, throwing a fist in the air. "But first..."

Gavin turned back to the lane and steadied his feet. He took a ball and chucked it down the lane, hitting all ten pins like an explosion.

"Damn!"

"Wow!"

"Gavin!"

Gavin turned and bowed, declaring himself the Bowling King. Michael knelt to his majesty, and it was his time to slip and fall. Miles and Kerry laughed while they helped him back to his feet. They all went to return their shoes, cutting their bowling trip a bit short in the need of some sweet, frozen cream.

And Michael would remember that he ordered a large, vanilla cone with rainbow sprinkles, Gavin would get Rocky Road in a waffle cone, Miles would get a brownie batter with chocolate sprinkles in a little red cup, and Kerry would get a small cup of strawberry all while Ashley sipped on a vanilla milkshake. 

How could he risk forgetting his first family outing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the early update I promised you; I'm graduating high school today! The reality of the situation is officially starting to settle in so today will be interesting. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who made me smile this week~ And for that matter, everyone who ever made me smile while I was a high schooler. I hated high school a lot so I'm really thankful for anyone who helped out that way <3 <3
> 
> Only four more chapters to go!
> 
> My twitter - @maniac_messiah  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	22. the silver of the lake at night, the hills of hollywood on fire [a boulevard of hope and dreams, streets made of desire] [part 2]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - City of Angels by 30 Seconds to Mars

"Alright, kid, are you ready for the best day of your life?"

Gavin, Michael, and Miles were outside a large mall. Miles didn't have many possessions back in his foster home, other than his game systems and clothes. Michael and Gavin thought it would be best for him to have something of his own, rather than something he had to share with foster siblings.

"Totally!"

They started with clothing first. Miles had a thing for plaid shirts and jeans, so they got a few of each from there. Miles especially fell in love with one that was a deep blue and white. He found a new pair of Converse sneakers, too, and Michael lightly giggled at the kid's sense of style. "He's gonna get allll the ladies in high school," Michael whispered to Gavin.

"Or all the dudes," Gavin pointed out.

"Or all the some or all the everybody,” Michael finished. "He could get anyone he wants once puberty hits. Assuming he wants any at all."

"Oh man, we're gonna have to have a sex talk or two," Gavin said, his face flushing a little bit. 

"I'll do it. I know I'm not nearly as repulsed as you are. Leave it to me. Plus, by now, I bet his school got the basics down."

Michael kissed the color back into Gavin's cheek. Gavin smiled as Miles came back out. They finished in that store and left to find a bedding store, letting Miles decide what kind of room he wanted for himself. They told him that he could choose his sheets, pillowcases, and a few decorating things to make the room his own. After walking around a bit, they found Miles was all over the color wheel. He found pink sheets with a grey pillowcase and a deep green one, He found a cute little piggy bank that looked like a creeper head from an old video game and called it a day.

Michael shook his head as they checked out. "I knew color theory by his age, what has happened to the education system?"

Gavin laughed at Michael. "Sounds like someone is getting old."

Michael's jaw dropped. "I am not! I'm a very content 25-year-old."

"'Weh, my name is Michael, I knew my colors when I was 4, what's with the _younger_ generation?'" Gavin teased.

Miles was exploring another part of the store, so thankfully, he missed the discussion. Michael pouted, but it was erased once they grouped up with Miles to find something to snack on in the mall's food court. After dropping their bags in the car, they found some place that sold wraps and took a seat. Miles drove right into his meal, leaving Michael and Gavin to talk for a moment. 

"Are we forgetting anything? Clothes, bed stuff..."

"I think we're good for today, at least. We can make it through the nights for a while. Miles?"

Miles looked up from his food, crumbs lining the edges of his mouth. "What's up?" he asked.

"I can't believe we didn't ask you this before. What do you like to do in your free time besides video games?"

Miles thought for a moment. "Books are really cool. I do my homework everyday after school. I hang out with Kerry, I listen to lots of music, I like to draw."

"Are you into sports?"

Miles shook his head "no". "They're not for me. It's okay, though. Oh! I like writing."

Michael was astonished at how mature he seemed to be. Once Gavin heard writing, he was all ears. He started yammering about his novel and its stages of editing. He talked about how he was trying to find a publisher all while answering all of Miles' little questions. Michael shook his head at his boys, taking a bite of a rather delicious wrap.

-

Ryan had officially moved out of Michael and Gavin (and now Miles') place. He left his bed, dresser, and a stuffed cow for Miles. He promised to visit as often as he could, nearly offending Jack in the process. Michael helped him with the whole thing, feeling a little upset about the end of the chapter.

As they were bringing out the last boxes, Gavin brought Miles in to see the place once again. Miles froze once he saw Ryan, a bit intimidated from someone of stature. 

"Oh! Ryan, this is Miles. Miles, this is Ryan, my best friend in the whole world."

"Hi, Miles. I kept your room warm for ya," Ryan said, setting his box down. He held his hand out for Miles to shake. Miles then asked if it was his fault Ryan was moving out. 

"No!" Ryan insisted. "I'm actually moving in with my fiance! He's a cool guy. He lives close by, so if I didn't scare you too much, we can totally hang out sometime! I'll be here to see this butt a lot," he answered, pointing to Michael by the end. Michael rolled his eyes but deep down thanked Ryan eternally for his answer. 

Miles smiled and Gavin led him to the back while Michael and Ryan headed out. Miles fell in love with the stuffed cow immediately. Just as Ryan was closing the door behind him, he heard a pitter patter of feet coming his way.

"Thank you for the cow! What's his name?"

Ryan smiled. "His name is Edgar! But you're free to name him whatever you'd like."

"Edgar’s a great name!"

Miles went back, having Ryan shut the door behind him. "Hey, Michael?"

"What's up, Ryan?"

"They should make three family homes."

-

Miles had officially settled in and woke up for the first time in his new place. He had most of his belongings with him, so as Gavin and Michael stayed asleep, he broke into a new book they had bought for him. He curled up on the couch with his Edgar and read aloud. Not too loud to not wake anybody up, but certainly loud enough for Edgar to hear. 

Before long, Miles heard something coming from upstairs. He could hear it running down the back stairs, and he held his Edgar with a little fear. A strange man with lots of tattoos came through, scanning the room for Michael and Gavin.

"Hello? Anybody home?"

Miles made a small whimpering sound, feeling extremely intimidated. Geoff turned to see the kid on the sofa and lightened his mood. 

"Oh, hi! You must be Miles. I'm Geoff, the dude who lives upstairs. Are Michael and Gavin around."

"They're in their room." Miles answered, pointing around the corner to their door. Geoff thanked him and lightly tapped on the wood. "Michael? Gavvers?"

He slowly opened the door to see Michael and Gavin curled up in bed together. Geoff could've been a nice person and lightly shook them awake, but instead, he got right up close and personal with Gavin's face. Once Gavin felt the odd disturbance in his sleep, he jerked awake, getting Michael up in the process. 

"I think I scared your kid," Geoff admitted.

"Shit, why am I not surprised?" Gavin whined, "You scared the hell out of me!"

"Well, I tried texting you but you weren't answering!" Geoff argued. "Anyways, Lindsay's crew is coming over but I won't be around. Think you can keep an eye on them?"

"Yeah, no problem. Just apologize to Miles if you really scared him," Michael answered, sleepily. 

Geoff gave a thumbs up and moved out of the room. He found Miles back on the couch, reading to his cow again.

"Sorry if I scared you, buddy. I hope that's a good book!"

"Thanks!" Miles cheered back, his nerves back to normal. Michael finally got up and made him a hearty breakfast of pancakes and eggs. 

"Miles, later on today, some kids are going to come over, alright? They're really cool. But they're going to be working on a project, so it's best to leave them be. I'll play some vidya games with you in your room when they're here if you'd like."

"Aw, okay! Can I say hi to them at least?" Miles asked. Michael said that was reasonable. Gavin came out just after, searching for a cup of coffee. 

"Did Geoff say when they're coming over?" Michael asked after Gavin had a sip. Gavin held up a finger and checked his phone. "Around 1. Not too bad."

-

One o’clock rolled around, and they heard the knock on the door. Gavin went over to let them in, pausing the show the three of them were watching. Lindsay, Monty, Kara, Barbara, and Arryn all cheered a "hello!" and that was Miles' cue to be excited. He scurried right up and went over to the group of teenagers.

"Hi!!" he said, waving frantically. The teens were taken back, but then Lindsay remembered who he was.

"Miles, right?" they asked, having Miles shake his head yes. "It's so great to finally meet you! This is Monty, Arryn, Kara, and Barbara."

Miles completely zoned out once his eyes saw Arryn for the first time. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Her long, brunette locks of hair bounced as she said hello again, and her smile was out of this world for the fourth grader. He was lost in the depths of her brown eyes, almost having to be pulled away from the group.

"C'mon, Miles, let's let them do their work,” Michael urged. Miles shrugged him off, asking what they were doing. Monty explained their project, letting Miles join them since he could be much more annoying for a 12 year old. 

Michael was amazed at how willing the teenagers were to pull Miles into their world. They explained their project to him in great depth, not at all irritated with losing time on their pilot episode. Miles was completely immersed in () and asked a hundred questions, naturally. It would only help their world building, so they let him ask away. Michael watched from the kitchen, and shushed Gavin when he came from his shower. Gavin peeked over to see the group of kids laughing and talking, not at all phased by age differences.

“This is awesomeee,” Gavin nudged Michael. Michael laughed and told him to get changed. Gavin rolled his eyes and went to find something to wear. Michael kept watching the group, both to watch Miles interact with other kids besides Kerry and to see the teens being so lovely to an elementary school kid.

Michael offered to order in a pizza and have the kids the somewhat challenge of agreeing on a pie. After much discussion, they landed on half pepperoni, half Hawaiian pizza. Michael gave them originality credits and called in the order. “How’d you kids reach that one?”

“Miles, Kara, and Barb, were thinking pepperoni while I was thinking ham,” Lindsay explained. “Monty mentioned how good Hawaiian pizza was, and none of us felt objected to that. It was simple!”

Michael couldn't argue with their logic and went back to watching them plan. They had papers sprawled all over with character sketches and outlines. Two kids even had laptops and drawing tablets as they were beginning to practice simple animation. Gavin joined Michael once he was dressed, getting them both a cup of tea. 

Not even a half hour had passed before the doorbell rang, delivering their golden pizzas. Gavin brought the boxes inside and set them down on their kitchen table. Paper plates were passed around and everyone took what they desired.

"Smart call with ordering a plain one, too, Michael," Monty said, munching away on their slice. 

"I figured, since there's a bunch of us, it would be wise to have a backup," Michael explained, a bit of grease dripping down his chin. He grabbed a roll of paper towels and blotted the extra oil off his slice. 

"So, when can we see the finished product?" Gavin asked the teenagers.

"Uhh, soon, probably. Before the end of the school year, if not juuust after," Kara answered. "Animation can be tricky."

"Yeah, I believe it," Michael said. "Do you want to take a break, watch something while we eat?"

Everyone answered yes, but unfortunately, no one could agree on what to watch. Michael had foreseen it, but was still hopeful considering how they were able to agree on food so easily. They ended up just returning to their project, not so much writing or typing but chatting, due to pizza hands. It wasn't long before the door opened again, except this time, it was Ryan. He was taken back by seeing five teenagers and a 12 year old on the floor, but he dismissed it. He said his hellos and nearly cried with joy from seeing leftover pizza.

"You two never order Hawaiian, what happened?" Ryan asked, taking the last slice of the pineapple pizza. 

"The kids wanted it. They ordered one, we ordered another," Michael explained. "How was your day?"

"Not too shabby. Only a matinee so I'm home before dark. It's lovely when shit like that happens."

While Michael and Ryan caught up a bit, Miles walked in, tapping Ryan’s shoulder. He looked over to see his old Edgar wrapped around Miles. "Can I ask you something?" Miles questioned.

"Yeah, go for it!" Ryan said, taking a seat at the table. Michael sat opposite him, with Miles siting in between.

"Why do you have so many stuffed cows?" Miles asked. "Michael said you have a whole bunch and they're all named Edgar. What's up with that?"

Ryan laughed and accused Michael of being a tattle. "I grew up with grandparents that lived on a farm," Ryan began, "They had lots of different kinds of animals. Chickens, pigs, they even had a couple goats. But my favorite one out of all of them was a milk cow named Edgar. My grandparents let me name her. Now, granted, Edgar is a typically masculine name but, whatever. I moved to New Jersey when I was 14, so I had to say goodbye to the farm and that lifestyle. But...I dunno, I just really loved that cow. She was a special one. So now, all cows are Edgars!"

Miles nodded along the entire time, and when he finished, asked Ryan why he had to move and such. Ryan told him a simplified version of his life story, from when he was young to meeting Michael to college and so forth. Miles was intrigued beyond words and began to feel much more comfortable around Ryan.

Soon, Miles felt pulled back to the teenager group, so he left without a trace. Ryan looked to Michael and smiled.

"Now that's a kid looking for some answers," Ryan joked.

"Did you see him, though?" Michael was fascinated. "He started off all cross armed and he was sitting on his feet. By the time he left, his arms were on the table, all stretched out, he put his head down to listen...he literally melted before you. He likes you."

Ryan silently cheered, holding his fists out for fist bumps. Michael rolled his eyes and returned the gesture, stretching over the pizza boxes. Michael went on to talk about his school life, with trying to wrap up the end of the year. 

"I can't believe it's only, like, two weeks left." He sighed.

"Time flies when you're having fun," Ryan replied.

"Time sure as shit doesn't fly during class, though," Michael laughed. "If only they had the passion."

"You should teach Mandarin to Miles!" Ryan suggested, feeling like the World's Smartest Man for his idea.

Michael scoffed. "If he wants to. It would be best, considering how sponge-like his brain is right now."

"Just do it!" Ryan encouraged, mocking an old meme from a few years ago. Michael laughed and said he'd bring it up once they had a moment of relaxation. Right on cue, a loud burst of laughter came form the living room.

"Right now isn't that moment."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> WOW WHAT A WEEK! I've been a high school graduate for exactly one week now and there haven't been many moments of rest. I'm currently at the tail end of moving from my family's apartment back into my grandparent's place so that's been consuming most of my time. But that's okay! Once everything is settled, I'll have plenty of time to write some stories and do some projects I've been dying to do :D
> 
> Also I hope you liked my meme reference
> 
> Thank you to everyone who made me smile this week~ <3
> 
> My twitter - @maniac_messiah  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	23. this is the sun behind the rain [even if sometimes i feel i can't stand another minute] may have begun to run an endless race but i never look back when i begin it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Slip (1998 unreleased Hybrid Theory demo) by Linkin Park
> 
> *The lyrics are tentative but that's what I hear when I listen to the song lmao
> 
> Happy (belated) Canada Day to any Canadian readers and happy (early) Independence Day to any American readers!

"Hey, Michael, do you know what we're having for dinner?"

Miles poked his head into Michael's room, where he found him typing away on his laptop. He had papers around him, similar to when the teenagers would work, except Michael looked a thousand times more stressed out. His glasses were on the tip of his nose and he kept jerking his head to stay awake. 

"I don't know, kiddo. Is Gavin around? You can ask him," Michael answered, not leaving his sight on his work.

"Could we possibly order a pizza?" Miles suggested.

"We just _had_ pizza, Miles. I'll make something in a few hours, don't worry."

"But pizza is even better! Plus you wouldn't have to work so hard."

Michael knew that he was shot from having to create a Chinese final. He also knew that his sleeping patterns could have been better. However, he was not in the mood to take shit from a child over his culinary skills. He got up and made his way to the kitchen.

"I'm making dinner tonight. I'll throw together..." He looked in the fridge, and when he found nothing, he checked the freezer. "We have frozen vegetables and..." He checked the pantry. "Brown rice. Rice, vegetables and I'll get Gavin to pick up some chicken. If you don't like it, then don't eat." Michael said, firmly. 

"Fine, I won’t eat!"

Michael nearly snapped his neck from turning around so quickly. He glared at Miles, who had his fists on his hips, standing up for the pizza he believed in. Just as Michael began to speak again, Gavin came bursting through the door.

"YOU GUYS, GUESS WHAT!" he cheered, nearly falling into the kitchen.

"Dude, I was having a moment!" Michael yelled back, a bit more anger coming out than he had planned. He looked at the two boys and knew he was interrupting a bit of discipline. 

Gavin bounced on his feet, still excited but trying to tone it down. "Should I come back...?"

"Nope. It's fine. Miles, to your room until I call you out for dinner," Michael said. Miles gave an over exaggerated sigh and stormed off, slamming the door a bit in return. Michael went into his room and pulled out a beer from their secret stash. 

"Jesus, what happened?" Gavin asked, taking the bottle from Michael's hands. 

"He gave me shit for my cooking. I told him what we're having and he wouldn't listen."

"So you sent him to his room?"

"I said that he's welcome to have what we're having, which now turns out to be chicken and vegetable rice, or he doesn't have to eat. He said he wouldn’t."

"How tired are you?" 

"'S not important," Michael broke their eye contact.

"I'll make the rice dish tonight. You go take a nap. You're overworking yourself." Gavin sighed. "You only have, like, seven school days left. Keep it together."

Gavin kissed Michael's forehead and led him to bed. He got Michael nice and comfortable, moving all his school stuff to the nightstand. Before Gavin left the room, Michael was out like a light. 

-

When Michael woke up, it was to the warm aroma of a hot dinner. He ran a brush through his hair and stretched each limb, feeling like he got a full night's sleep in two hours. 

He came out to see Miles pouring himself and everybody else a soda and pulling out plates. Gavin was over the stove, mixing the vegetables and chicken with the rice. Michael could have sworn he could smell some soy sauce and other Asian flavors as well. From what his senses picked up, he smelled something extra sweet, too. He rubbed his eyes from under his glasses, unsure if the entire scene was real.

Miles handed him his glass. "Sorry about earlier," he mumbled, not meeting his eye. Michael set his glass down and pulled him into a hug, apologizing too. Gavin smiled at his two favorite boys before getting out a serving spoon. He moved the entire dish into a larger bowl to be placed in the middle of the table. They each served themselves, family style, and chowed down.

"Pineapple?" Michael asked, taken back when he bit into a warm, sweet piece.

"Miles I went down to that corner store for chicken and he thought it would be a sweet variation," Gavin said, giving Miles a high five for his genius plan. Michael went back into the big pot to pick out a few more pieces since it added a new tier to their meal. After a few moments of eating, Gavin suddenly remembered something. 

"So, big news! I went back to that publisher I told you about and she loved my story! Granted, it's still extremely rough, but she sees potential! She's going to be the one to help me publish it!"

Miles' eyes lit up while Michael hollered with excitement. They both gave him a round of applause and couldn't wait to see the final product. 

Michael took Gavin's hand from across the table and gave it a light squeeze. 

"I knew you could do it, babe."

-

The weekend before the end of the school was the debut day of RWBY. Lindsay, Monty, Kara, Barbara, and Arryn were ready to premiere the trailers and the very first episode to their family. Geoff had everyone come upstairs to watch, all while serving light refreshments, as if it were a true, professional premiere. 

Michael, Gavin, and Miles squeezed together on one couch, the teenagers took another, and Geoff, Griffon, Ryan and Jack were seated on the floor. Lindsay was holding as many hands as they could, nervous to see their production on their parents' big screen TV. Everyone took a deep breath as Monty hit "play" from their laptop. 

Vibrant music began playing as the first trailer started. In between each, there were no comments per request from the teens. They wanted to hear all the comments at the very end, on the off chance it didn't go over well. 

All the adults were blown away. Granted, the technology the teens had to use wasn't state of the art, or even current, but for what it was worth, they did incredible. For only having one microphone, a little bit of software, and balancing high school, it blew them away. The action was on point, and everyone had questions about the types of weapons each girl had. Everyone's eyes were glued to the screen, unable to move. When the trailers were done and they moved to the episode itself, the entire room moved forward a bit, trying to immerse themselves even more. 

When the credits rolled, Lindsay turned the TV off.

"So...what did you think?" Barbara asked. 

No one could say anything; the only sound they could make was a round of applause. They were praised from a creative level to a technological level. Of course, everybody had a bit of critiquing to do and had lots of questions, but most of the questions they had were bound to be answered through the story. Monty said that their second episode was already halfway through production and everyone cheered. 

"I'm so proud of you!" Griffon cheered, getting up to hug Lindsay. They felt a little embarrassed but also overjoyed that they made someone feel so happy with something they did. Everyone got up to give hugs to those who were interested and handshakes and fist bumps to those who weren't so thrilled over hugs. The teen announced through that, since finals week was coming up, they had actually finished this a few weeks before but wanted to save the big reveal. Now, they were bound for a week of hell in their school building, but had a full summer to keep trucking with RWBY. Michael and Gavin renewed their promise for letting them come over when they needed the space, and Miles promised that he could keep helping, too. Arryn personally thanked him, causing Miles to blush and run back downstairs. Everyone giggled a little bit at his expense, but knew it was all in good fun.

-

As Ryan headed back downstairs with Jack, Michael, and Gavin at the end of the night, he got a phone-call. "Yeeeeello?" he spoke into the receiver. "This is he. Yes, yes. You. No way. Yes, absolutely. I can come by tomorrow morning. Thank you!!"

Ryan turned around on the staircase, stopping everyone in their momentum. "I was asked to audition for this new show!!"

Jack lit up and caught himself on Ryan's shoulders, hugging him from the step above. Michael and Gavin congratulated him, too, asking what part of the show. 

" _The lead!!_ "

Michael screamed louder than Jack did, nearly pushing past him to get a hold on Ryan. "I _knew_ you'd get the lead one day!" he said, not planning to let go of Ryan anytime soon. It resulted in Michael holding on, having Ryan carry him down the rest of the stairs. Ryan sighed, teasing that he only did that so he could build up some muscle, but Michael knew that Ryan didn't mind in the slightest. He let him down in the kitchen while Gavin went to grab some bevs. They popped open some beers to celebrate, although Ryan preferred a Diet Coke in place of the alcohol. They all toasted regardless of the drink in their hand and took a swig, thrilled for their friend. 

In a celebrating mood, they booted up their Xbox and played some random multiplayer game for the two couples. They played until their eyes burned from staring at a screen, not at all bothered by the bits of pain. Ryan and Jack had to head home, unfortunately, but before they did, Miles came running out of his room to hug Ryan goodbye. 

"Congrats on your play," he mumbled into his shirt, barely audible to anyone but Ryan. He scurried away just as quickly as he came out, leaving Ryan with a bit of a blush. 

Ryan insisted Jack to get the car started while he stayed behind to talk to Michael. When Jack shut the door, Ryan nearly suffocated Michael in his arms. 

"Thanks for believing in me. Without you, there's no way I would have this chance," Ryan whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUck me TWO CHAPTERS LEFT
> 
> Wow. I know I say this every week, but really, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO MADE ME SMILE THIS WEEK! it was really hard :/ moving in with family may seem glorious if your family isn't all up in your shit, but fuck. 
> 
> Sorry also I kinda kept forgetting today was Friday so editing sucks shit. I just spell checked so again, sorry
> 
> Also, I started NaNo again! My fall production is already about 9k words in, so stay tuned!
> 
> Until next time xx
> 
> My twitter - @maniac_messiah  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


	24. oh well, too bad, who cares, it's alright, as long as we will stick together [in hell we'll run in rows of sunshine we'll watch it rise and shine forever]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Mother Mary by Foxboro Hottubs
> 
> Italics are a flashback~
> 
> Chapter TW: eating disorder talk

_"So, what do you want to do?"_

_Michael and Ryan were on the roof, gazing up at the stars. They were basking in the imminent doom of returning to school, except this time was different. This time, they were going to college. Michael was bundled in a light hoodie, feeling the August breezes nip at his ears. Ryan, somehow, didn't feel the cold or at least didn't let it bother him._

_"I'm hungry. Are you?"_

_Michael turned his head a bit, suggesting he could eat. They crawled back through Ryan's window and snuck downstairs, taking Ryan's car out for a drive. They went up and down a main strip of places to eat before eventually settling in IHOP. Michael and Ryan were all giggles as they walked inside, only having an hour or so before the restaurant closed up for the night._

_"This is so teenager-y," Michael sighed, picking up a menu. Ryan agreed with him, not needing a menu to make his choice. Michael spent a lot of time gazing at the laminated pictures, trying to make the most health conscious choice. Before Michael could choose, Ryan ended up ordering for the two of them._

_"Two short stacks, please."_

_Michael shot his gaze to Ryan, slightly offended. "Sure, okay, make my choices for me."_

_"Hey, you know how indecisive you are. And I've seen you flip back to the pancake page like, 50 times by now."_

_Michael did agree that a short stack sounded delicious. Although, he knew there was something else he needed to get off his chest._

_"Hey, Rye? Can I tell you something?" Michael's once joking demeanor disappeared._

_Ryan picked his head off from his phone. "What's up? You okay?"_

_"I, uh," Michael sighed, "Remember when the Big Ex happened?"_

_Ryan nodded his head, remembering how broken up Michael felt._

_"It...well, I don't know if it_ directly _caused it, but I got really sick. I'm really sick."_

_Ryan saw Michael tensing up and got up to sit on his side of the booth. Michael didn't notice and instead kept talking._

_"I stopped eating. I felt disgusting. Nothing was working and...it did," Michael said, shakily._

_Ryan froze in his seat and retraced every meal he had with Michael at once. Sure enough, he recalled Michael giving him portions of his own food, thinking it was simply a nice gesture. He remembered Michael claiming how his mother had made a huge dinner and had plenty of leftovers for breakfast. He remembered Michael bringing in baked goods but never having one of his own._

_"Can I hug you?" Ryan asked. Michael nodded and Ryan clung to him like a magnet. He could feel less of him and held on even more to compensate. "I am so sorry."_

_"It's not your fault, Rya-"_

_"I didn't notice my best friend in the whole world being sick? I feel so horrible," Ryan admitted._

_"Hey, I kept it under wraps for a reason," Michael said, leaning into Ryan's embrace. "I had to tell you, though, because I finally noticed how thin I really had gotten and knew you'd ask if I didn't say anything."_

_"Are you getting help?"_

_Michael nodded, explaining how he had been in therapy for about a month by that point. Ryan sighed with relief. Michael talked about how it was still a battle but he pushed through for his loved ones._

_"...and when I say loved ones, I really mean you," Michael finished._

_“I am always here for you, Michael. I love you so much.”_

_“No romo?” Michael laughed._

_“No romo,” Ryan giggled back._

_Their plates of pancakes arrived, and Ryan eyed Michael._

_"You up to it?"_

_Michael reached for the maple syrup substitute and poured more than enough on both stacks. "You fuckin' bet."_

_Ryan didn't bother moving back to his side of the booth. They went on to talk about the fate of the maple syrup industry and how climate change would doom the future. Ryan didn't mind nearly as much as Michael did, but it still was a fun debate at 11:30 at night. They nearly licking their plates clean, downing their waters to compensate for so much sugar in their bodies. Michael felt just a little sick from eating so much, it didn't phase him nearly as much as it once would have. As Ryan was pulling out his card to pay, Michael gave him another hug._

_"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. You're the best friend a guy could have."_

_Ryan smiled and wrapped an arm around the hug. "I'm thankful that you trust me with this information. I mean, not that you have a reason_ not _to trust me, but..."_

_"Stop talking, Rye."_

_"I gotcha."_

_They paid the bill and headed home, full of a wondrous and unforgettable memory of what it meant for them to be teenagers._

-

Finally, finally, the school year had ended. 

Michael was finally done grading papers and finals, and even though most of his students scraped by with a D- or barely better, he knew he wouldn't be seeing them next year. He was becoming a full time Chinese I teacher while a new hire would teach the Chinese II class. He said “zai jian” and let the stress of school roll off his back.

Miles and Kerry graduated up to seventh grade, thrilled to find out they had some of the same teachers together. After being separated for their sixth grade career, they were reunited. Gavin teased them something fierce, saying how they their classes merged all the time anyways. This just resulted in both boys putting their fingers over their lips and going "Shhhhhhhhh"

Gavin was happy to finish off his first year as a librarian. He was in a job he really liked and had no plans to go anywhere. He often joked with Michael that he would be the one with the stressful job next year while Michael floated by on a cloud. Michael crossed his fingers.

To celebrate all the change, Geoff went downtown and rented a gazebo near their favorite part of the park. That way, if anyone were to come over, they could wave a piece of paper and tell them to get lost. Geoff knew that everyone had gone through rings of change and wanted to commemorate that with a barbecue. They invited everyone they could think of, from Michael and Gavin, to their school crew, to Ryan and Jack, to all of Lindsay's friends and Miles' friends. 

Michael and Gavin met a lot more of Miles' friends when they had their party. They met two kids named Chris and Aaron, making a confused Arryn turn her head when she heard her name. Miles introduced his friend Jon, too, saying how often the five of them were hanging out during recess. They would play silly improvisation games and played for snacks. Jon would decide who was the best all while making the entire thing up.

"You're a little genius, then!" Gavin insisted. Jon shrugged him off while also fully taking the compliment. He talked about he likes designing things and liked that industry. Aaron rolled his eyes and made fun of him for his hobbies. Jon just ran after him, trying to tackle him down. Aaron would skip, lightly mocking Jon for being a slow runner.

"Smell you later! Oh...wait...you can't say the same," Aaron teased. Michael turned to Gavin, completely confused.

"He doesn't have a sense of smell," Chris explained, picking up on the adults' confusion. He then turned and joined the chase, running in circles around the playground, kicking up pine chips under his sneakers. Michael and Gavin then turned and tried to imagine their lives without a sense of smell when Miles came up to them.

"Aren't they cool?" Miles beamed. Michael nodded his head while Gavin gave a thumbs up. 

Miles giggled and ran back to join his friends. Michael went up to see how Geoff was doing at the grill after picking up a can of Sprite. 

"It's no prize, but it's getting the job done." Geoff said, flipping over a burger. "A public grill is better than no grill."

"As long as it's clean, I guess," Michael argued. Geoff assured him he gave it a decent scrub down before putting anything down. "How're you doing?"

Michael thought for a moment. "A year ago I was living in a cramped apartment with a roommate in a shitty neighborhood. Today, I have a fiance and a kid. It's fuckin' mind numbing."

Geoff laughed. "Yeah, that's how I felt after we got Lindsay. We got them really soon after moving to New York, so it was like 'a year ago I was working in one state, and now I'm in a better position _and_ I'm a dad.'"

"Dadhood is good so far," Michael said, sipping on his drink. "I'm really enjoying it."

"I'm super happy for you, man. I still can't believe you're the same person who fucked up in my intro Chinese class."

Michael punched his shoulder as Ryan came over. "I heard something about you living with a shitty roommate in a neighborhood?" he asked.

"Haha, dumbass. 'Roommate in a shitty neighborhood.' Get your quotes straight," Michael teased.

Ryan put his arm around his shoulder and turned his attention towards Miles. "Look at him. Look how happy he is," Ryan said, smiling. Michael softened up just a little bit and nodded his head. Miles was pushing Arryn on a swing, with Kerry teasing him from behind. Arryn soared through the air, gaining most of her height from her own energy but cheering Miles on regardless. Lindsay and Monty were huddled under the slide, avoiding a little bit of the excitement by sharing headphones. The rest of their friends were happily chatting, not phased by their friends' need to relax every now and again.

"This is the life," Ryan sighed. 

-

So, Labor Day weekend had arrived before they knew it, which meant the immanent first day of school. Miles was already packed and caught up with his reading and spent the last day of his vacation helping his friends catch up, too. Everyone was so content and ready to begin anew, well, except for stubborn teenagers who hated high school with a burning passion.

Michael and Ryan went to their local beach, nothing fancy, to spend the day. Michael hadn't seen him too much since his new debut, but since Ryan had a day where he wasn't performing, Michael wanted him for himself. They packed some towels and drove off, ready to soak up the remnants of the summer sun.

Once they arrived, they let their towels soar in the wind before landing on the warm sand, lying down stretching. Michael took his shirt off, letting his ever so faded scars see the light of day. Ryan followed suit, appreciating the sun's rays.

"We've come so far," Michael lazily said.

"Yeah," Ryan answered.

"You know what's the best, though?"

"What's that?" Ryan turned his head towards Michael.

"Both of us found somebody we love. Like, besides from one another. Romantically, and, in your case, sexually."

Ryan chuckled and agreed. "Have you two decided on a date yet?"

Michael replied with no. "We're waiting to get our date for Miles. We want it to be the same day, if not the same week. So, once we find out, it's going to be crunch time to plan everything."

Just as Michael was speaking, his phone rang. He looked down to see it was Gavin. 

"You could've just texted me, silly," Michael said, skipping any formalities.

"OCTOBER 31!"

Michael rolled his eyes "What are you on about?"

"Burnie called me, Michael. October 31!"

Michael's eyes widened as big as the Grand Canyon. "HOLY SHIT, ON HALLOWEEN?!" he screamed, attracting more attention than intended. 

"Yes!! It couldn't be more perfect, Michael! Oh my god!!"

Michael screamed a few more times, unintentionally having Ryan calm down their fellow beach goers. When Michael finally hung up, he just screamed again.

"Miles is legally ours on fucking Halloween. Holy shit!" Michael took Ryan's shoulders and shook him as hard as he could. Ryan thought he was seeing stars by the time Michael finally stopped. 

"So, will you two also be wed on Halloween?" he asked. 

Michael got over excited all over again. "THAT'S MY FAVORITE FUCKIN' HOLIDAY!" Many parents with young children had started to move away from them. 

Ryan tried having him at least lower his volume, despite it being a lost cause. Just as he did, the craziest thought popped into his head. 

"So, listen, Michael. Halloween is your favorite holiday, and Gavin's...and mine and Jack's. What if - and this is just an idea so don't hurt me, but...what if we had a double wedding?"

Michael cocked his head to the side, pondering it. Ryan went on to elaborate how awesome it would be: it would cut costs, they would be sharing the best moments of their lives together, it would be on _Halloween_.

As Ryan went on and on, Michael eventually cut him off, placing his hand over Ryan's mouth. 

"You don't have to sell this to me, Rye-Bread," Michael said, grinning. 

Ryan’s smile beat out the sun for its shine. They went back to sunbathing, both silently planning their weddings. Of course, they knew they had to run it past their respective fiances, but it was such a good idea that they felt safe. 

-

"Double wedding?" Gavin asked, moving around the kitchen. 

"Isn't it great? Favorite holiday, best friends, less costs."

"Fuck yeah, let's do it."

-

"You sure about that, Rye?"

"Of course I am. Are you hesitant?"

"Seems short notice, that's all. Nothing against the concept."

Ryan gave Jack a kiss on the nose. "Don't worry, love. It'll be alright."

-

And come their wedding day, it would be the most beautiful thing any of them had ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I missed yesterday's update! Home life is kinda rocky right now so I just needed to rest and take care of myself, I hope you understand <3
> 
> I can't believe this is almost over omg
> 
> Thanks to 2/3 of my bible camp crew for the IHOP experience inspiration (even tho you guys don't read this story i think lmao)
> 
> Thanks to everyone who made me smile this week!! Esp this week!!
> 
> See you next week for the finale <3
> 
> My twitter - @maniac_messiah  
> My tumblr - @maniacmessiah


	25. may nothing but death do us part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title - Uma Thurman by Fall Out Boy
> 
>  
> 
> it's all ogre now

The very early morning of October 31st, Michael, Gavin, and Miles had a very special place to go.

The three of them, plus Burnie, Meg, and Ashley, were headed to their local court to have the adoption finalized. They scheduled it as early as anyone could muster, for they were headed out of state by noon. They were sure it wouldn’t take very long, yet they did so regardless. They all wore their favorite clothes to not only stay comfortable but to be happy. They would be dressing up later, so staying casual now was preferred by everybody. 

They went through the legalities, from reviewing all that Michael and Gavin have done to doing one last confirmation to ensure this was the right decision. Everyone in the room knew that it was; it was more of a legal measure. Soon, Meg and Ashley metaphorically passed the legal guardian baton to Michael and Gavin, having said so by the judge. They were given an official adoption decree: a fancy certificate that had all their names on it with the date and a stamp. 

Michael and Gavin were officially, legally, parents.

As they left the courtroom, Burnie, Meg, and Ashley wished them the best of luck and the happiest of days. They exchanged numbers if they ever needed anything before leaving Miles with the care of his dads. Michael, Gavin, and Miles then had to head to the social security office across town and change Miles’ parental information, but of course, there was a long line of people. Ever since government offices had opened on Sundays, more and more people were there on the weekends to get their business done. They took a number and had a seat.

“How are you feeling?” Michael asked, patting Miles’ back. 

“I’m so excited! It feels really cool to have it official, you know?” he answered, sitting on the edge of his seat. “Plus, there’s tonight, too! So much new stuff in one day.”

“Yeah, we wanted to share the day with you, bud,” Gavin explained. It made Miles’ heart flutter a bit, knowing how important he was to his parents. They were called right after and they filled out the paperwork to have the information changed. Miles wouldn’t need a new card, since he already had a number beforehand. Michael and Gavin just needed to be listed there for tax purposes. 

By the time they were done there, they still had plenty of time before they had to head out for the wedding. They asked Miles where he’d like to grab a late breakfast, and he chose a chain diner. They went inside and got a booth, flipping through the menus. 

“Hey, Dad?”

Both Michael and Gavin picked their head up to see a smirking Miles. “Which one?”

“That’s part one of my question. Should I call you Dad? Either one of you?”

Michael and Gavin looked at each other, realizing they never discussed it. They asked Miles to check out the bathrooms, make sure they were clean, while they talked about it.

“Shit, did we really overlook this?” Michael asked.

“We really did,” Gavin answered, “I mean, I’m cool with Dad. Unless you want it?”

“I was honestly going to suggest him to use Chinese with me, if he’s down. Dad and ‘Baba’ sound different enough. Unless he’ll think it’s too childish. He could always just use our names.”

“We’ll let him decide between the two, then.”

Miles came back with the full bathroom report, saying they looked good enough for a busy place. He asked what they talked about, and Michael proposed both ideas. He started explaining the history behind the Chinese before Miles cut him off.

“Baba, you’re babbling.”

Michael blushed and apologized, noting Miles’ decision. They went back to their menus; their growling tummies reminding them they had yet to order.

“So, Dad, what do you think sounds better. Chocolate chip pancakes or blueberry pancakes?”

“I would go chocolate chip, personally. Both are very sweet, but I’m a chocolate person.”

Miles took note and ordered a stack. Gavin ended up doing the same and Michael did too, having an Adoption Pancake Party. They got their plates and syrup-ed them up to their liking. Michael was the one who had the least, with Gavin and Miles nearly tying for the most amount of sugar on top of their already sugary stack. To each of them it was the best damn stack of pancakes they ever had. Not only did the diner deliver, but the sweet taste of early Halloween morning paired with an adoption and a wedding made everything a hundred times better.

-

"Hey?"

Michael turned around to see Ryan in a full tuxedo, an orange tie being the spotlight. His hair was freshly cut and didn't look like a train wreck for once, unlike past endeavors. His smile shone like the moon.

"Are you ready?"

Michael said yes, tying his own tie. They all wore the same shade of orange to match. Their individual suits varied to keep some differences present but that was just one knot they were tying. 

"I can't believe it's finally happening," Michael said, checking his hair one last time in the mirror. 

"I can't believe it either. We're getting fuckin' married."

"We're getting fuckin' married."

They both had a few minutes before needed to be anywhere, so they took a seat. They embraced the silence, only hearing the other breathe. 

"Ryan?"

"Michael."

"Remember way back when we went to IHOP really late at night, just before college?"

"Yeah, who could forget?"

Michael sighed. "I never really clarified something. I didn't tell you mainly because I didn't want you to worry. But I was also _petrified_ that you'd stop being my friend."

Ryan turned his head to look at Michael. "Really?"

"Yeah. I was battling that for a really long time. I only dated after the Big Ex to try and help it but it didn't work. That's why those relationships fell though. I didn't want you to be like them."

"Aw," Ryan blushed a bit, "I didn't know how much went into that IHOP trip. I mean, I knew it was something, but not that much."

They resumed their silence, Michael feeling at peace for getting that out of his system. Soon, Ryan began chuckling. 

"You were so obsessed with your Big Ex and now you're getting fuckin' married," Ryan said, trying to hold in his laughter. "Could you imagine what they would say if they saw you today?"

"What, are you a poet now, too, Mister Actor?" Michael commented first. Ryan elbowed his side as Michael thought about it. "Yeah, you have a point. Man, I'm so happy I'm free of that."

"And now you'll be Free in a different way."

Michael's heart fluttered with excitement. They could hear their names being called, so they left their little tent, ready to proceed with the ceremony. Michael was going to walk Ryan down the aisle and vise versa. Gavin and Jack stood at the front, awaiting to see their soon to be spouses all dressed up. They kept the tradition of not seeing their fiances until the wedding ceremony, so everyone's butterflies were going haywire. 

They decided to be married in a forest midday. They traveled to a beautiful clearing a state over to have them be united with nature, especially New England's autumn foliage. This particular park had a large gazebo so they didn't have to go far for a reception. Across the street was, conveniently enough, a simple hotel for everyone to stay and keep their things. After the ceremony was complete, everyone would move back to change, and then head right back to dance and celebrate the newlyweds. 

Considering two couples were to be wed, they had much more people than they originally planned. Michael's parents and siblings, including spouses and children were there, and Gavin's family was flown in for the occasion. Ryan had his family there, too, and Jack did the same. Geoff and Griffon, along with Lindsay and Monty, made it and did their best to snag seats as close to the front as possible. Matt, Jeremy, and Kdin got the seats closest to the front, though, just a row behind family members. Kerry had a seat, too, although Miles wouldn't be joining him. Miles and Kerry would have a blast afterwards, for the reception, but Miles had another job to do at the moment. 

The ceremony began, with someone playing an acoustic guitar in place of a piano. Jack walked down first with his father escorting him. Next was Gavin, with his father bringing him. They had no best men, though, for the couples complimented each other. Once Gavin got to the front, Jack held out his fist for a fist bump. Gavin returned it just as the music changed. It was the big moment. 

A large gust of wind had dozens of leaves fly down, illuminating the experience for everybody. Michael felt as if his heart would burst out of his chest. He and Ryan came out, arm in arm. They walked in time to the music as they both smiled and laughed a little once they saw their soon to be husband. Gavin and Jack's eyes instantly welled with tears, with Ryan and Michael following just as soon. They joined their loves, instantly complimenting the other with words of astonishment.

Miles brought up the rear, wearing an orange bow tie rather than a long tie. He was holding a pillow with four rings on it, delivering them to his dads and uncles. With all eyes on him, he picked up his pace. He let each man take a ring, for everyone was the other’s best man. Ryan would give to Michael and vise versa, while Gavin would give to Jack and vise versa. With the small bands in their hands, the Justice proceeded.

"The couples have prepared their own vows."

Ryan and Jack went first. They took each others hands while Ryan started speaking.

“My Jack, thank you for not shooing me away because I was a freshman.” He paused once people started giggling. “We’ve been running strong for so long and I am really thankful for that. I knew I loved you when I started counting the minutes in between classes, wishing them away so I could see you there again. And I knew I was _in_ love with you when you helped me and Michael by the end of our freshman year. When you were halfway across the country, I’ll admit it was hard but it hardened our shells. We have a lifetime ahead of us for new challenges and I vow to be with you every step of the way. I promise to keep our spirits high when times are tough. And I also promise to make dinner when you come home from work all stressy. I love you so much, Jack Shannon Pattillo.”

Jack smiled and kissed Ryan’s hands. He waited a moment before saying his own vows.

“My Ryan, I never really expected to click with any one student, and look where it got me. Your charisma lightened the class everyday. Even when there were storms, it was like a little bit of the sun moved through the room. Your passion for your work inspires me everyday to become better and better, and I still will never forget the first time I saw you on that stage. You’re going places and I can’t wait to be there with you. Your passion transcends to your friendships, particularly with Michael, here. Your relationship with him is something I’ve been striving for, but with you, I’ve found it. What you feel for him platonically is exactly what I feel for you romantically. I promise to help you rehearse lines, even if I’m sleepy from work. I promise to hold you when you’re sad or if you’re sick. There isn’t a thing that I wouldn’t do for you, James Ryan Haywood. I love you.”

"Dear Gavin. I love you so much. Ever since the day we met, you’ve been my one and only. I can’t believe how idiotic I was when I nearly lost you. From when I picked you up off your feet at the school, I knew that my life was only going to go uphill. This past year has, without a doubt, been the best of my life. Even when we hit roadblocks, I knew deep down that we would muster the strength to hop on over. I promise to be with you for the rest of my days. I promise to build you up and be there for you when you need me. I promise to tell you if I’m upset or ill. If you’re sick, I’ll help heal; if you’re sad, I’ll say something stupid to see you grin. And now that we have Miles, everyday is a new adventure with our family. You have my heart forever, Gavin David Free.”

Michael took his thumb to wipe away some of Gavin’s tears. Gavin took a deep breath and pulled out his own folded up piece of paper.

"My little Michael. I still can't believe the stars aligned for us to meet. You're one of the most interesting people I've ever met, and I'm not just saying that because I'm deeply in love with you. You're creative, unique, not to mention intelligent beyond belief. You can speak Mandarin! I can barely do that. I respect your confidence every day. Between our past, you have lots to fear but you handle it like a prince. Not every prince is perfect, mind you, but it's better than faking it. You're the definition of faking it until you make it. You've helped me step out of my comfort zone and see other people's perspectives. I've been able to empathize with people better ever since I met you. So, I promise to continue. I promise to hold your hand every day, both literally and figuratively. I promise to help you raise our kid to be the best he could ever be. I promise to help you if you ever need it, and yes, it can be 3 AM. I love you so much. I love you so much, Michael Vincent Jones. And, let me just say, you’re tippy top, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Nearly everyone was tearing up by this point. Michael squeezed Gavin's hands, taking them together in their old hand hug. The Justice of the Peace continued on, with the couples now exchanging rings. Each man soon had a gold band around their left ring finger, right where it belonged. The justice kept talking for not even another minute and none of the grooms could tell you what he was saying because they were so invested in their significant other. They were able to hear the last part, though.

"You may now kiss your groom."

They collided in unison. Ryan felt the prickles of Jack's beard while Jack tangled his hands into Ryan's hair. They pulled apart and held each other, overcome with joy and love.

Michael and Gavin pressed their lips together and everything moved in slow motion. They could feel the other's heartbeat, they were so close together. Gavin's hands were around Michael's waist while Michael had his arms tied behind Gavin's back. Not only was it the kiss of the year, but it was also the hug of the year. They never wanted to part; nothing deeming more importance in their moment. Soon, though, breathing seemed great and they parted, pressing their foreheads together. Their hands tangled together, too, holding them up like during a dance.

"My husband," Gavin whispered.

"My husband," Michael whispered back. 

Ryan came over to snag Michael into a hug while everyone began to stand. The party dispersed for a little while while people went to change and get ready to celebrate. Soon after, everyone was dressed much more casually and was underneath the gazebo. They decided against a DJ, rather just having an iPod chock full of songs on a playlist. Most of them were dance songs, but every now and again, a slow, love song would play. The catering service arrived soon after, setting up trays of appetizers. They had tables set up, too, along the sides so people were free to sit. 

One by one, people would come up to congratulate the happy couples. Matt, Jeremy, and Kdin all gave hugs, telling them how their wedding better be just as cool as theirs. They asked Michael and Gavin off to the side of they would be their Best Men, and they agreed without a doubt. They were thrilled to hear it and would give more details as dates approached.

Geoff and Griffon came up to give their happiness, too, with Lindsay and Monty by their side. The teenagers were a little bored from having to sit for so long, so they were actually itching to be up and moving around for once. They offered to hangout with Miles and Kerry if they were up for it, so they scurried off to see what the kids were up to. Miles and Kerry were sitting at a table, just chatting, but soon were up and running around with Lindsay and Monty on the grass. Griffon commented on how safe Lindsay felt for once, feeling immense pride for having them come out of their shell so much. 

It wasn’t too long before it was time for cake. They opted to have two large, five tiered cupcake tower, rather than slices of cake. Each one belonged to a couple, and there were enough for everybody to have one from each. Ryan and Jack decorated theirs with a cool color scheme to counter the dramatic warm colors that they had as their atmosphere. Blues and purples were in the frosting while the cupcakes themselves were green velvet. Each cupcake had a white buttercream rose on top, too, for a traditional top to a modern idea.

Michael and Gavin went all out and did a rainbow. Each tier was a different color, with the bottom being both blue and purple to save space. Seeing as their rainbow ode held so much importance to them it only made sense for them to have it somewhere in their wedding. They too had white buttercream roses on top of their tiny cakes. Each tower represented everything the couple deemed important which was what mattered at the end of the day. They had each other, and they had their friends. 

The four of them went up to take the first cupcakes. Ryan and Jack did the traditional feed-each-other-the-cake move, accidentally getting frosting on the other’s noses. Jack kissed the icing off of Ryan’s nose, making him blush in the cool air. Ryan did the same except he continued placing kisses all over Jack’s face, claiming there was still frosting there he had to get. 

Michael and Gavin each grabbed a red cupcake, remembering the color of Gavin’s hoodie the night they met. They tried doing the same as Ryan and Jack, but with Gavin’s nose, it was a mess. Gavin rolled his eyes at how dramatic Michael was being, so he just ended up smushing the cupcake onto this husband’s nose. 

Everyone enjoyed the light dessert and had one last dance. Michael and Gavin went out, not having had their first dance yet. They took their hands and had their hips pressed together. 

“This is the closest our hips have ever been,” Michael commented, swearing he could feel bone on bone. 

“Don’t get too hyped, Jones,” Gavin teased. Michael rolled his eyes and kissed Gavin. 

They swayed in time with the music, incredibly content with their choice of music. Michael rested his forehead against Gavin’s shoulder, starting to wear out from the excitement of the day. The adrenaline had kept him going, but now that he was slowing down, his body was catching up with him.

“For two trans kids, we really made it,” Gavin whispered into Michael’s ear. 

Michael leaned his head back and looked into Gavin’s eyes. “We really did, didn’t we? I guess that It Gets Better campaign wasn’t total bullshit after all.”

“You thought it was B.S.?”

“A little,” Michael confessed. “It felt funny having such successful people tell me as a kid that it would get better. Like, of course it got better, now you’re successful and you’re not in high school or college anymore. But, damn, they were fuckin’ right.”

“In seriousness, though, for two ace-spectrum transgender guys, this wouldn’t have happened ten years ago. We fought the good fight. We never gave up being true to ourselves and who we are. We never gave into acephobia or transphobia. We showed the world that nothing stops determination. Could you believe that our parents didn’t even accept us a decade ago? Look where they are today. We won."

“Your mom would be so fucking proud.”

As they danced into the night, everything finally felt right. And, of course, it wasn’t going to be perfect. They had fights bound for them, along with arguments with Miles. Times were bound to get tough as everyone got older. But it was okay. They were a family. They had the closest of friends to help them out and pick them up when they fell. With all the bad times, there were going to be twice as many happy ones. Gavin’s book would be published, Michael would finally make peace with his rambunctious class, and Miles. Miles would go on to become an incredible young man, guided by his fathers. They would be there for him when he had his first heartbreak, his first F, even his first time, even though Gavin gagged a lot hearing that story. 

After it all, they had settled down. Their pasts were in the past. The only thing that mattered to them that night was having fun, eating their favorite foods with their favorite people, and pretending that their world would never end. 

And with their bond, it would stick together forever and ever, engraved in the cosmos.

-

_No, no, no, no_  
_I will never forget_  
_No, no_  
_I will never regret_  
_No, no_  
_I will live my life_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. Song used at the very end is Closer to the Edge by 30 Seconds to Mars
> 
> I am in complete and utter shock. I can't believe I actually finished this lmao
> 
> 11 months, over 100,000 words, new friends, new ideas, a new outlook on life, and a new me. Holy shit. 
> 
> Here's where I take a small writing break to figure out what the hell I'm doing for my next project, but stay updated with me on social media to see where I'm headed :D
> 
> Thank you to everyone who _ever_ made me smile over the course of these story, whether we're still friends or not. I couldn't have done it without your support and love.  <3
> 
> Here's to the future
> 
> My twitter - @maniac_messiah  
> My tumblr - maniacmessiah


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